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Hi, my names Logan, i'm 15 soon to be 16. I found out about a year ago, that i'm gay! Kinda bad tbh, my parents are homophobic so I can't come out, my sister was forced too and my parents were MAD. So i've been super scared, but I like to talk to people so, if you ever wanna talk i'm here

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @LoganDunbar

 

Welcome to our support community! My name is Monsoon and I'm one of the digital mentors here, and it's my job to give advice to those who reach out to us.

 

Thanks for telling me about your situation. I'm sorry to hear that your parents are homophobic. How is it now with your sister? I hope it got better for her. I'm asking this just to find out what it was like when she came out and what else happened after it as this will help me to think about your situation.

 

Hope to hear back from you soon.

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Nice to meet you sir. Well tbh idk if I should say, but basically, my parents got mad when she came out and they then kept on her about it. But she basically told them she changed her mind, but she didn't it was just to make them happy

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @LoganDunbar

 

Nice to meet you too! Feel free to call me Monsoon :)

 

I'm sorry to hear that your sister told them she changed her mind just to make them happy; that must be hard for her. How is she doing?

 

Sadly, some parents can react badly when their child comes out. This can be really difficult to deal with and it can make some people go back into the closet to make things better. However, it's important to stick to your word and prove to them that you are being serious and that you won't change.

 

We find that most of the time, these parents eventually come round to the idea. This can take a while, so you have to be really patient with it which can be really annoying, but just know that it does get better for most people. There's an article about this here: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/my-parents-didnt-react-well-to-me-coming-out/.

 

What do you think?

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey again @LoganDunbar

 

I’m sorry to hear that it’s hard now - I can imagine that this is quite stressful for you. It’s good to speak out about it though, and remember, we are always here for you. How are you feeling about it all?

 

I’m wondering, how long was it between your sister coming out and then her telling your parents that she changed her mind? It can take parents who have a bad reaction a long time to come around to the idea, and it’s so hard trying to stick that out, but most do come round, and it’s a case of putting up with it and waiting for that time which can be difficult. What do you think?

 

Take care, Logan. You will get through this, and we are here every step of the way.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @LoganDunbar

 

Yeah, it is stressful. It’s good that you are speaking to people about it though. As I said, it can take a while for some parents to come around, so it might be a case of riding it out for a long time.

 

Do you think you’ll come out to anyone soon?

 

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey

 

I'm glad to hear that some were supportive, but that the rest hated it. How are you feeling about this? I hope you're doing as well as you can be. We are here for you if you need to talk to us.

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  • Digital Mentor

Hey @LoganDunbar

 

I get why you would think that, and I think it's important for me to tell you about my experiences of helping people in your situation. I have supported others whose parents were similar. They also used to think that their parents wouldn't change the way they thought about it, but after some time, they eventually came round to the idea. I think it's important to still have hope, if you can find it, that they will change their thinking. What do you think?

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