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How do i come out my parents


rayray8227    

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Ummm I'm new to this place and well i want to say that i just found out im gay/lesbian and i'm scared to tell my family because i feel like they will be disappointed and i cant diagnose myself with depression but i do have suicidal thought and i do harm myself but i have stopped so yah also i am 13 yes i am young but i just i dont know,

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Hey @rayray8227

 

Thanks for coming to us for help - we are here to help you, so please know that you're not alone. I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a hard time lately. Can I ask, do you have a plan to take your own life? It is okay to feel like this, but remember that feelings can change, and this feeling may pass. Just incase you need it, here is a link will give you a list of all crisis lines worldwide which you can call if you're having a hard time: https://www.befrienders.org. There's an app I can recommend called Stay Alive https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/f...tay-alive-app/ - it has safety plans to keep you safe and loads of info. Also, you can call your doctor or go to any emergency department and ask for help.

 

We hope that you're safe and once we know this, we can help you with your sexuality and coming out. Stay strong <3

Edited by Monsoon

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Sometimes I would think like what if I grabbed that knife and ended it here right now. I also think what IF I do take my life what would happen. I worry about my family and my friends but (I'm gonna rant a little) I'm tired of being there for my friends for everything helping them cope with their problems or helping them in a bad situation that they put themselves in. I think when am I gonna get that help. People think I'm such a nice, funny, loud person but in reality, I'm not I'm shy, alone, and sad. That feels good to get off my chest

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Hey @rayray8227

 

I'm glad you feel better for getting that off your chest. Can I ask, do your family and friends know that you need help? It sounds like you support them so much, but you also need to be looked after a little. How come you feel alone?

Edited by Monsoon

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No one knows the only person I confide to is my best friend Kevin he helps me out a lot and even tho i used to like and he hurt my feeling but i can understand girls like me don't date guys like him. But he has been helping with this stuff and I trust with this stuff. I don't tell my parents because my dad suffered from severe depression and anxiety and i don't wanna worry them but i always feel like they are just gonna think it a phase and not believe I'm hurting inside. I feel alone because i have no one to talk about beside Kevin and i just feel lonely and i also got out of an 8-month relationship with my ex-boyfriend and he is really hurt and i feel so bad i don't know what to do and also in my past a lot of guys messed, played, and hurt my feelings and i never thought that a girl will hurt my feelings and now i just I'm confused about who i am.

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Hey @rayray8227

 

Sorry to hear that your relationship ended - I really hear how much you're struggling; all of your feelings are valid and completely normal given your circumstances. Did you feel this way before you broke up? Or has it started since?

 

I completely understand why you don't want to tell your dad given his own struggles, but I think that if they know, they will be able to help you get more of the help you need right now <3. I'm really glad that you have Kevin helping you out.

 

 

Stay strong, RayRay. We are here for you :)

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Well i started feeling this way for a long you see there was this I really liked and he was a close friend of mine and I told him I liked I thought things were going well until this girl had to ruin all and he broke my heart and then things went back to normal i guess and I had a friend and she knew how much i liked him and things like that well guess what they both went behind my back did some things and now they are dating that really hurt me and ever since i kept getting hurt

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ooooohhhh my bad but im good i guess ya no im really no ok im really confused about me because well you see i kissed a girl and it was my first kiss ever and i liked it but I'm dating a boy and this happened before and I'm just really confused and i don't wanna say anything until i know who i am for sure

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Hey

@rayray8227

 

Sorry, I just realised why you asked if I'm a bot because my post duplicated. I restored the post as it briefly disappeared but then it came up with my old post!

 

I'm so sorry to hear what happened with your friend going behind your back with the person you really liked. This must have really hurt you :(. Have you talked it out with any of them?

 

With your sexuality, there really is no pressure to tell others yet, and you're right, it's definitely a good idea to wait until you know for sure. It will come with time, but I get how frustrating and confusing this can be. What do you think?

 

 

Edited by Monsoon

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Well i only talk to jacob (the boy i liked/like idk anymore) i don't talk to his gf because she doesn't like me anymore and ya it was hard it still is. I think that i do like girls but not as much as boys you know.

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Hey @rayray8227

 

It sounds like you're becoming more sure of your sexuality with you saying you think you like boys more which must be a good feeling for you. How are you doing emotionally atm? Hope you're feeling better :)

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what do you mean by atm and I'm not good at all i am always sad and well i cant get jacob off my mind yes i do talk to him now but as best friends but i tend to fall for someone fast and i don't wanna have have feeling for him i need help

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Hey @rayray8227

 

Atm means at the moment - my bad for not making that clear :/

 

Sorry to hear that you're always feeling sad right now. Is Jacob your ex? With breakups, time is the best healer of the sadness that can follow and trust me when I say that you'll feel better soon <3. We have some support guides here that you might find helpful. Why don't you take a look and let me know what you think?

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/getting-over-a-breakup/ 'GETTING OVER A BREAKUP: HOW I DID IT IN 7 DAYS'

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/mental-health-support-hub/ - We have our very own mental health support hub here - why don't you have a look through and see if there's anything you might want to try to help you feel better? If you can't find anything at first, we can help you.

 

Hang in there, RayRay. You're so strong and you can get through this :) <3

Edited by Monsoon

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Ahh okay, I get it with Jacob. Sounds like it's been really tough for you :(. I noticed that you said he broke you and I'm wondering if you can tell me more about how this feels for you?

 

Stay strong, RayRay <3

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All i feel is pain and i cant find myself to actually put on a real smile i lie to everyone around me that I'm ok when I'm not and its hard its too much stress and i always feel like a disappointment to my family because of who i am they may not show but i feel it they make me happy but only for a little bit because I'm back to being sad jacob made me not believe in love and it hurts. you know people tell me to move on but if i move on its not love me and my friend were talking yesterday and i said this to her

but thats not love cuz love is when rhey tell u to move on but u cant cuz u love them too much even if they hurt u right? snd she said this

love pushes the fact that they hurt u down, ykwim(you know what i mean). if someone you love hurts you, and you still go back to them even tho they made you cry stuff. It’s cuz u love them. love defeats the pain they’ve caused you.. all u secretly want is for you guys to work out..no matter how many times they hurt you. and you can’t help that.. and that's how i feel about him if that makes sense.

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Hey @rayray8227

 

That all makes complete sense - thanks for explaining it to me :). It's so hard getting through the end of a relationship - it's so up and down and you just have to take each day as it comes. I'm glad you've got your friend to speak to. I completely get why you're lying to others about how you're feeling as it can be hard to face the pain. However, I worry that if you keep trying to bottle it up, things might get harder for you. What do you think? Also, did you get a chance to have a look at the links I sent to you on Tuesday?

 

Hang in there, RayRay. You will get through this :) <3

 

 

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was it the mental help and how to get over a relationship because yes i did see those also i do really like talking to jacob and i told him this yesterday

So I was thinking, and maybe we should stop talking, I need to get myself together. And I’ve got feelings for you.. and I don’t wanna be a home wrecker for u and Hadley. So I’m just not gonna talk to you until my feelings for you have passed. and no i think that its a mistake but i cant get over him i want to but i cant

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Hey @rayray8227

 

Yeah, I meant the guides about mental health help and getting over a relationship - I'm glad you've had a read :)

 

I think that it's hard to get over someone when you're still talking to them, so I do think it's a good idea to try and have some space as this might help you to feel better about the situation. Did you tell him about maybe stopping talking? If so, how did it go?

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i said this

“So I was thinking, and maybe we should stop talking, I need to get myself together. And I’ve gotten feelings for you.. and I don’t wanna be a home wrecker for u and Hadley. So I’m just not gonna talk to you until my feelings for you have past� and well i cant cant stop talking to him he helps me with everything and its hard to not talk to him yk

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hey @rayray8227

 

that's really brave of you to send the message - it must have been really hard for you, especially given how you feel about him. how are you feeling after sending the message?

 

sending positive vibes <3

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i felt very dumb because its hard to not talk to him all i think about is him like ugh i don't want to think about i want to move on but i cant and i get so annoyed because i know we will never be together and i cant move but i want to if that makes sense

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hey @rayray8227

 

yeah, that makes complete sense. it's so hard to get over someone you really like and i can see how frustrating this is for you. my best advice in this situation is to give it time - i know you want to feel better now, and you will do one day, but it will take some time to get there. time is the best healer of this kind of thing so hang in there <3

 

how are you doing today?

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