Hi I’m Em

[Emj91]

I had a baby with my husband and we now have a lovely happy 14 month old baby. I had kicked him out prior to being pregnant as he was out in the pub all the time drinking and never at home. He spent all the rent money on partying. When I fell pregnant it was a massive shock. He didn’t change throughout the pregnancy and became verbally abusive. since having our baby I keep trying to fix the relationship but I’m exhausted. I love him but it’s really taking a toll on my mental health. My family and friends don’t like him and I’m frightened of telling them we are seeing each other again as i told them all a few months ago it was over. He had abused the situation. My boss tried to to help him start his own business and he spent the money instead. When I try to talk to him he tries to turn things back around on me and it just ends up in arguments and doesn’t understand why I don’t want to tell anyone about us. I’ve developed some massive self confidence issues. I look in the mirror and sob for ages about the way I look. My nose is slightly off centre and I obsess about it 100 times a day. I take about 100 selfies a day just to see if it’s any straighter. I don’t feel good enough for him. I question everything. My looks. My skills as a partner and a parent and a person. He tells me I’m beautiful but no matter who says it or how many times it’s said I just think I’m not good enough for anyone. Then everyone always goes on about how pretty my sister is and I just never get a mention. I always feel like well you got the brains and the maturity and she got the looks. I have PCOS and really struggle with me weight. I comfort and binge eat for comfort. I’m really struggling at the moment to get up. I’m constantly tired and drained. I just feel like I can’t go on anymore. Why is life so soul destroying? I thought it would be more enjoyable as an adult with children. But it just gets harder everyday

[Biscuit]

Hello, EMJ91

 

You need to cut ties even if difficult in the long it's going to be good for you and your baby.

 

Out of the 8 billion humans that live on this planet there is going to be someone that actually cares for you also wants to be around you and motivates you to be better as a person and as a parents.

 

What you need to most focus on is your Mental Health so your able to have the self confidence you need.

 

Your child needs a parents that's reliable that's going to help them through there life time.

 

I personal recommended a therapist you can go talk to.

 

I hope this help!

 

- Biscuit

[Remi]

Hello Em,

 

Thanks for coming to our community, we are predominantly a space for 12-25 year olds so i'll send you a private message to some organisations we feel might better suit you.

 

It sounds to me like you are already aware that the relationship you have with the father of your child is not healthy for you. it's important to separate yourself from his actions and realise that it is not your fault or because of anything you have done, you only have responsibilities over yourself and if he is making poor life choices it is not up to you to fix them for him or blame yourself.

 

When we are loved properly, there are no conditions, and you deserve to have a love that makes you feel beautiful, seen, heard and understood. It is time to leave the table when love is no longer being served there. Do you have a support network around you? You are whole and you are good enough. It may be worth seeing a therapist as they may be able to help you work through the issues that are at the crux of your low self esteem right now. There is never any shame in accepting help and you may just be experiencing a bout of poor mental health right now, but it is important to remember that thoughts do and often can change and you can be on a happier path in the future.

 

Sending positivity your way

 

Remi