Coming Out to Homophobic? Parents

[DarkCat]

I'm 13, gay, and I have homophobic parents. Well, possibly homophobic. My dad and I were in a mall when he saw two gay men. He pointed at them and said 'disgusting'.

 

Is he homophobic?

What should I do if I want to come out? (Not about to, but, like, in the futute)Thanks:)

 

(Btw, call me Percy.)

[Remi]

Hello there Percy,

 

Welcome to our community, we are glad you've made it here.

 

I think it's a good idea not to rush coming out, you have your whole life to do so, so take some time to explore your identity and don't feel the pressure to come out to your family before you are ready, you will usually know when this is, you will just feel it. Here is our guide for coming out when you do feel ready - https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-11...ian-gay-or-bi/.

 

Some people find writing a letter is a good way as you get to write down exactly how you're feeling, and nerves don't take over. Are you out to any of your friends, do you have any friends that are in the LGBT+ community or known allies that you could speak to as well, it may be nice to have a good positive first experience of coming out to them.

 

As for homophobia, it's hard to say based on that one interaction, although that doesn't sound pleasant i'm sorry to say. Could you ask your Dad what he thinks about celebrities that are out to get a flavour of where he is coming from. What do you think your Moms reaction would be?

 

When coming out, the most important thing to remember is your safety, if you at any point feel like you may be kicked out or at any risk of harm if you were to come out, then please wait, until you are in a position to be independent from your family should you need to.

 

We're always here to chat whenever you need to.

 

Remi

 

[DarkCat]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_culture_in_Hong_Kong

 

Yeah... Not so good.

I'll see, thanks for the advice.

[Remi]

Hey Percy,

 

I see, are you from Hong Kong? How does it feel for you being gay there? Are there any local LGBT youth groups you can join anonymously?

 

If you suspect your family are going to have a severe reaction, then it probably is best to wait until you have left home. No problem, we're always here.

 

We have an article that specifically deals with coming out to homophobic parents here - https://www.ditchthelabel.org/coming...hobic-parents/ as well, but for right now, there is no rush, just enjoy being you.

 

Remi

[DarkCat]

Yep, I'm from Hong Kong.

 

It sucks a lot, at least for me. My dad, possibly homophobic, my mom, no idea, my classmates, well. *sigh*

 

At school, in my class, even talking LGBT stuff is, like, practically taboo.

One of my classmates was trying to talk about LGBT stuff, and the others were like (in my language, they have terrible English) 'Ewww, you gay?'

 

Yeah, not cool.

I'm going to secondary school in September. (American equivalent of middle school, Uk equivalent of 7th grade?Sth like that)

 

Hope my classmates there will be better.

 

Percy

[DarkCat]

As for LGBT groups, I don't know any

[Remi]

Hello Percy,

 

Ahh that sounds tough! I guess looking for allies within school may not be a good idea, but fingers crossed your next school may have some people you can connect with. There are lots of online communities too (just like this one) where you will find like minded young LGBT people you can connect with.

 

I know it feels lonely right now, but there are so many other people who are feeling a similar way to you, and it will get easier. You are not alone!

 

Sending lots of solidarity your way, and we're always here if you ever need a chat.

 

Remi