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I'm quite insecure, I need some advice


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I'm not quite sure how to begin this, but the reason I'm here is pretty much because I have an issue with my self-confidence and self-esteem. So, I have a 3-year realtionship with my lovely boyfriend who is very kind and undertanding, he does make sure I know that he loves me and that I am important - but, I myself find it very difficult to ''see'' that from his perspective, I question it most of the times and wonder what there is about me that makes him feel that way? I am very jealous often and it does affect our relationship in a bad way sometimes. I am an overthinker and jealousy can boil in me just by some random thoughts and imaginations that are not even true or have happened/will happen in real life. This ruins my day and eventually his day too. I know that all of this is coming from me not being ''good enough'' for myself and not liking myself, which ends up with me being rude and jealous of other women. Eventually this has led me to question myself and asking me who I really am? I question myself a lot and even my boyfriend sometimes by asking him if I am really that special to him? I find it difficult to understand my importance or my ''specialness'' in someone elses life. I really want to stop with it and be happy and not so insecure because I don't want to ruin a really good relationship. Also, I want to have a better quality life and stop all the negative thoughts constantly spinning in my head. Do you have any advice that could be helpfull for me? I would appreciate it very much! Thank you! :)

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Hey Books&Coffee,


Thanks for coming to us for support - we are here to help you :)


I think what you have explained is quite common. Everyone has insecurities about something. I have battled with my own insecurities in the past and have struggled to believe the nice things people have said about me.


I wonder, can you trace back to when you started having insecure thoughts? It's often the case that there can be past incidents which have started negative thinking cycles. It could be useful to have a think about this because having the knowledge of why you have a certain negative belief about yourself can be a powerful tool to overcome that belief.


Have you read our support article about building self-esteem? You might find it helpful:




I hope this helps. I look forward to hearing back from you :)


- Monsoon


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