Social Anxiety Struggle

[elliej14]

Hi! I'm 22 and have only just acknowledged the fact that I have social anxiety. I will be receiving treatment (a CBT group) in May but in the meantime thought it might be helpful to join some forums and meet people with similar issues!

 

I'm naturally quite shy and introverted but I'd love to make some more friends... My friendship circle isn't big (literally only 2 or 3 people) and that really gets me down! I find it hard maintaining friendships because I never initiate anything for fear of coming across as being 'pushy' and I find it hard to make conversation or small talk with people. I realised that I was using alcohol to get over my anxiety when going out with old work colleagues as I normally feel uncomfortable when in a group setting and I always feel afraid to speak up (and the times I do speak up I feel that nobody listens or they will just talk over me.) I also get really bad nerves before meeting people and I hate walking into a crowded place, for example if I am meeting up with people to go for a drink and they will already be in the pub, I'll literally stand outside for hours until I see someone I know come out for a cig or whatever.

 

If anyone else experiences the same then please feel free to chat.

 

Thanks

[Blondie]

@elliej14 Hey and welcome! I'm sure it's been a huge step in acknowledging it but what a positive one! One thing I've found about friendships / friendship groups in your 20's - they naturally seem to shrink. I know that not everyone has a huge circle of friends in their teens but it definitely seems to thin out in your 20's. In some ways it feels positive as I guess by then we're looking to develop deeper and more meaningful friendships but even so, it's a huge adjustment. On top of that people have more responsibilities so there seems to be less available time.

I can completely relate to the large groups of people - I have intentionally joined a social group which limits the numbers at each get together to 8, so no one is overwhelmed and you can have real conversations / interactions with people rather than just flitting from person to person or sitting down alone as it's just too much. I did this through 'meet up' (Disclaimer: Ditch the Label has no connection with them at all - this is just my own experience so check anything you may plan to go to thoroughly!) The get togethers are divided into areas of interest so there's usually something interesting.

I've made really lovely friends through this

Edited February 27, 2020 by Blondie
typo

[elliej14]

@elliej14 Hey and welcome! I'm sure it's been a huge step in acknowledging it but what a positive one! One thing I've found about friendships / friendship groups in your 20's - they naturally seem to shrink. I know that not everyone has a huge circle of friends in their teens but it definitely seems to thin out in your 20's. In some ways it feels positive as I guess by then we're looking to develop deeper and more meaningful friendships but even so, it's a huge adjustment. On top of that people have more responsibilities so there seems to be less available time.

I can completely relate to the large groups of people - I have intentionally joined a social group which limits the numbers at each get together to 8, so no one is overwhelmed and you can have real conversations / interactions with people rather than just flitting from person to person or sitting down alone as it's just too much. I did this through 'meet up' (Disclaimer: Ditch the Label has no connection with them at all - this is just my own experience so check anything you may plan to go to thoroughly!) The get togethers are divided into areas of interest so there's usually something interesting.

I've made really lovely friends through this

 

Hi Blondie! Nice to meet you I will definitely have a look at Meet Up, it sounds like it could be a fantastic place to meet friends!