I don't feel like picking up a friend's call anymore

[__alestaa]

I feel like my long distance guy friend from senior year(he's a good person in general ) drains me emotionally after we talk over phone(we talk for 1 hr on avg when he calls)..I never call him cuz i dont feel like it.. cuz he never misses an opportunity to make fun of me(career, college, physical appearance , driving etc )..I feel like it's far fetched and uncalled for..but the way he goes about it appears to be just whimsical fun..and me being the good sport i am, i never call him out on it..I joke about myself even..so I was personally going through a lot these 2 months and didn't feel like I had the mental energy or "tolerance" to deal with this..I didn't pick up his truckloads of calls which kept piling up..(i was like wtf why is this dude behaving like a mad person) i told him to text me cuz i didnt feel good enough to talk to anyone over phone ..he totally ignored that and tried calling for 2 more days..I reminded him that I didn't wanna call..so he texted some usual exchanges ..and then he again asks why I ain't giving even a single call..I had just about had it and I plainly told him I wasn't intersted to talk and asked him to text..he was like, okay not interested to talk anymore ..byee ...and I didn't reply!! A part of me even felt relief ..so it got me thinking ..maybe this person is really toxic for me..cuz i give umpteen number of chances before cutting someone off..and for this guy, i dont feel like I am mentally equipped to give even an explanation .cuz this toxic shit has been going on for years now .. and I have just about had it!

[Remi]

Hey there @__alestaa

 

Well done you for taking control of boudaries and recognising when someone is draining your mental energy.

 

You are right, you don't owe them an explanation and you tried to put clear boundaries in place and it sounds like this person did not want to listen to YOUR needs in the friendship, which may be because they are in crisis but you have a right to tell them how you feel, especially if they are acting in behaviours which are putting you down and making you feel bad. I know its hard sometimes shutting people out that you care for, but it often is the best thing for both and this means in the future you may still be able to have a friendship, once they realise how to communicate better with you,

 

I hope this helps,

 

Remi