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I want to be confident. I feel like im almost there


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Im a fat 21 year old. Im not ashamed of being fat and I don't want to lose any weight. I don't believe that I would look better if I was skinny. What I can't handle is the regection I face because of my weight. People rarely say anything to my face since im an adult and I can stand up for myself, but on dating apps people are cruel.

I'm at a low point today because I was at a party and a boy who I thought might be interested in me told me I look like his aunt. Im not sure why this hurt me so much, I think its because I cant help but to compare myself to other people who get hit on at parties. It really hurts to think that people just aren't interested in me. My best friend is absolutely gorgeous and has a bunch of people who are actively persuing them and it gets hard to listen to them talk about it when no one has ever had a crush on me. My last relationship only happened because I asked them out. And they never really liked me and used me for emotional and physical validation.

I dont know what to do. I know im funny and smart. I want to like myself but the pain about my looks just never ends. I want to be in love or at least have some intimacy in my life.

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