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Break up tips


DecD12    

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My ex-girlfriend and I broke up on Monday, the feelings are still pretty raw and fresh. I've been pretty pro-active though. I've blocked her on everything (except her number), I've unfollowed her friends, I speak to everybody about it. We ended on good terms and will remain friends (although we obviously won't talk for quite a long time to aid the healing) so I just wanted to ask, what's your break up tips and how have you coped in the past?

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Hey there @DecD12

 

How are you feeling now? Breakups are so so tough, you feel like you have lost an arm a lot of the time, I know I did in my last break up. Well done on being so pro-active. Be kind to yourself during this time, there may be days when you feel really strong but allow yourself to be upset and release too.

 

I always think #blockblockblock is the best idea, at least until the pain isn't so raw anymore, take some time getting to know yourself again, you could start a new hobbie or reconnect with old friends - think of all the extra time you will have!

 

Watch sad films, listen to music that makes you feel alive and remember that all pain is growth and that you will be okay and the possibilities ahead of you are endless.

 

Good luck! YOU GOT THIS!

 

REMI

Edited by Remi

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We did a whole series on the best way to get over a break up.

 

Check out a few of these articles

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/break-up-donts/ - all about the dos and don'ts of a break up!

 

Tips for getting over someone https://www.ditchthelabel.org/10-tips-for-getting-over-someone/

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Hey Remi,

Thank you! Your message made me feel a bit better!

 

Yeah, we agreed to block each other on social media. I've deleted/threw out all our keepsakes and photos too, which was necessary but extremely difficult. Anything in my room that reminded me of her has been chucked out. When we broke up we agreed that if we felt down we could talk to each other but when she phoned me I was getting some (false) hope that we could rekindle our relationship so I called her that evening to say maybe we shouldn't talk so much so I can heal - unbelievably, extremely difficult to do when all I want to do is talk to her. As amazing as my friends have been (and truly, I mean they have been nothing short of extraordinary to me), I still just want to tell her how my day has been and share stories, hopes, dreams, fears etc.

 

It's super super cheesy but very true.

 

It definitely does feel like I've lost an arm. As cheesy as it is, I genuinely thought one day I'd marry her. Alas, what's not for me won't go by me. I do feel like i'm getting better each day thanks to my friends and proactiveness, which is obviously good. I definitely do have so much more free time, I think i'll put it into uni and the gym. When I used to feel down last year about my self-esteem, I used to write poetry - I might take this up again.

 

I decided that I can't let this experience hold me hostage. I want to use it to allow myself to become a better person. Every time I'm sad, I try to do something nice for someone else or I try to do something that betters me so that I am always becoming a better person.

 

Thanks for sharing your articles, I'll definitely be reading up on them and following all your advice. This forum allowed me to vent, thank you :)

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Hello @DecD12

 

I'm glad it helped a bit.

 

It's going to be hard but you will thank yourself for keeping communication to a minimum while you are going through this. I know it feels like you should be the ones to comfort each other but all it will do is delay the healing process. I'm so glad you have good friends and a good support network. Could you, whenever you want to text her, text a friend instead and let them know you are doing thi , A friend did this for me and it worked so well for when i just wanted to vent but i knew it wouldn't be good to speak to my ex.

 

Carry on on your journey for bettering yourself, and self discovery, try and put all your energy right now into you and see how far you'll go!

 

Remi

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