Ask Me Anything - Yasmin Benoit - Asexuality, Sexuality and Coming Out.

[Yasmin Benoit]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm Yasmin, I am a model, activist and creator of #ThisIsWhatAnAsexualLooksLike I'll be answering your questions on asexuality, coming out, sexuality and identity on Thursday 24th.

 

So drop me a question below!

 

[AshMarie]

When did you know you were asexual?

[Hallebangg]

What is the best advice you have for young people who may be thinking they might be asexual or exploring the umbrella of asexuality? And what do you think should be done for education on, not only asexuality, but all sexual, romantic, and gender orientations/identities?

[curley]

Hi Yasmin do u think that asexuality is still misunderstood?

[Abigail]

Heya,

 

Do people always ask you to define what asexuality means? Like are loads of people confused about it? Hope this question is okay!

[ApplePie]

Hey Yasmin!

 

How do you know if you are a-sexual or not? like I have crushes on both boys and girls but could never imagine kissing them or havig sex. But I don't know if my feelings will change, I am 13 now. I don't know whether or not to come out because I still don't know what I am and don't want to get it wrong.

 

Thanks so much!

 

xoxo

[Denna]

Who is your favourite asexual character in tv/films/books/etc? and do you think there needs to be more representation of asexuality in films and stuff?

[Yasmin Benoit]

@AshMarie

 

I worked it out around the same time as everyone else around me seemed to realise that they weren't asexual, so when puberty kicked in. Only, I didn't know the word for it until I was around 15. I just noticed because I didn't seem to be feeling what other people were. It was more an absence of moments, rather than a moment in itself. When I heard the stories of other people who identified as asexual and realised the startling similarities, I realised that there was a pattern!

[Yasmin Benoit]

@Hallebangg

 

Don't be in a rush to work it out. Let your understanding of yourself develop through your own experiences and observations, and not other people's opinions.

 

It's been a while since I've had to sit through a sex education lesson - which fell under PSHCE in my school, so it might have changed since then. But I think the whole thing needs a reboot - more focus on consent, sexual health, healthy relationships, being LGBTQIA+ inclusive, gender diversity, rather than 'here's how to not get an STD' (which is how my classes were, there was no gender ed).

[Yasmin Benoit]

@curley

 

The awareness around asexuality is increasing but there's definitely more to do. My activism has allowed me to discuss asexuality with people who are asexual and non-asexual. Consequently, I hear a lot of stories and a lot of misconceptions. Sometimes people surprise me with their insight, but a lot of the time, people get asexuality confused with a whole lot of other things, or have misconceptions surrounding it, to some degree.

[Yasmin Benoit]

@Abigail

 

Of course, it's fine! Yes, people do ask me what asexuality means a lot. It's usually the first question, which is sometimes good, as it means that they don't want to assume that they knew the definition. There is definitely still confusion and misconceptions around it, but I like to think that the increased visibility is helping that.

[Yasmin Benoit]

@Denna

 

I'm yet to find one that I connect too personally, but that's just me. I've heard that there's a black aromantic asexual character in Star Wars, so that's the most relatable for me - even though I haven't seen Star Wars. I've heard that Emmerdale had a decent asexual character, and Bojack Horseman - in fact, the Bojack team consulted asexual organisations while developing that storyline.

 

My current technique is to represent myself at this point and hope that other people find the representation I provide helpful. There is a huge lack in comparison to other LGBTQ representation, although you could argue that any character who doesn't blatantly show signs of sexual attraction might be asexual, it isn't the same as having an openly asexual character. In turn, having characters who display asexual characteristics, and making them the 'alien' or the 'robot,' or the Sheldon Cooper, where asexuality is an issue that needs to be overcome, isn't helpful either.