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Kinda confused, help


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Earlier this year, I started questioning my sexuality. I'm a girl and have had a couple of crushes on guys before. While I don't think I've ever had a full-on crush on a girl... I feel like I've found some attractive. When I imagine being bisexual, it doesn't seem so weird. When I think about guys and girls, I feel like I find girls more... Attractive? I know bisexuality isn't 50/50. Am I just confused? I don't want to come out and then realize I'm straight.

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Hey there @Mer


Don't worry! You are so not alone. I even went through this thought process when I was questioning my sexuality. The way I see it sexuality is fluid and can and does evolve and change throughout your life, if you are having open conversations with yourself about a possible attraction to women, this doesn't mean that you have to rush out of the closet and tell your grandma. The truth is so many of us don't identify as 100% heterosexual and there are so many different variables of how you see and experience your own sexuality.


Being confused is the process of figuring it all out, so try to see this as a step along the way and try to enjoy the journey.


I've had relationships with both women and men and still don't know if I call myself bisexual yet, its your experience.


Does that make sense?



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Don't worry about it. I've been in the same boat as you. I've gone by bisexual for a while now, but if you were to split it into guys and girls, it was probably something like 20% guys, 80% girls - maybe even higher for the girls. Now, I'm seriously considering if I'm lesbian considering all that's happened. It's a complex thing sexuality. It can fluctuate, I wouldn't say people go 'I'm 60% 40%' and they're like that forever. It changes, your preferences change and you work out what you like and dislike.

Lots of bisexuals lean towards guys or girls. I lean definitely towards women - I'd much prefer a female partner, I'd much prefer to kiss a girl, blah blah the list goes on. It IS confusing, but you are not confused. You're just working yourself out and changing. Also, if you do decide to come out to someone, you could just say 'I'm not exactly straight' or a good term to use is 'bicurious' (you think you're straight but you're curious about the same gender/sex).


I hope this clears something up for you? You're not alone and you're not confused.

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