Does he like me? What are his intentions?

[SwedishGuy]

There’s a guy in my class who’s behaving strange towards me, i want to know what he’s upto. I’ll call him the expressive guy. We always roast the shit out of each other, but he always takes his “jokes� on a other level. Like he bumped into me while i was storing my things in the locker. I would turn his laptop off and he would just laugh. While when someone other tries it he punches or warnes them to stop it. He threw a sponge at me and i also just smiled and threw it back. Basically we’re just teasing each other. In one moment i told him that he’s a dork and i hate him, but i made i pretty obvious that i was joking. He said no you love me. I just decided to laugh and said nothing. However he told me then: “I love you, Bastard�. And i didn’t say a thing. It’s one week ago this happened and we pretended that it didn’t happen. I don’t kniw what to feel since he had two girlfriends, but needless to say none of those relationships lasted longer than a month. I‘m an asexual guy as a matter of facts at least that‘s what i always told myself. However since he said that i‘m getting some Bi vibes. I don‘t know what to do and what to feel. I think he‘s just joking around. What do you think? What should i do?

 

[Marv]

Hi there @SwedishGuy

Hmmm... tricky one.

I mean, lets just say for a minute that he decided to turn to you one day and say he meant it all and that he likes you, how would you feel? Because, someone can like you, but if you don't like them back then I suppose there isn't much you can do. I guess the biggest question is, do you like him?

I can't really tell you how to feel or what to do specifically, because it's kinda your call. You could just wait and see how things unfold - see if your feelings develop, see if he confronts you, see if anything between you forms. You could ask him straight up. You could test the water and suggest/ask what would happen if either of you liked the other - I did this with my friend once. Do you know his sexuality?

 

It's a bit of a tricky one... I hope I've helped in some way?

[SwedishGuy]

Hello!

Thanks for your answer first of all. That’s a really hard question, i do like him as a friend i guess, but after he said those things my feelings for him went on a trip. However it’s still weird to me, because i always thought i’m an asexual and aromantic. Like the whole situation is weird to me, but especially me catching and having those feelings for him. I don’t really want to ask him straight in his face, because i haven’t really figured it out with myself and i kinda think he hasn’t either. The best thing for me is to wait, because i don’t want to push myself in a direction i maybe won’t like or love. He never really said anything about his sexuality, because he had those relationahips so they speak for itself. However i don’t think he’s fully straight, he just can’t be. The way how he approaches to me and his behavior towards me is very -uh let’s say unique/different. Maybe he’s unsure/confused and is testing “new� things.

 

Yes you’ve helped me a lot. I mean i don’t know if he likes me, but i know that i’ll wait. I’m not afraid of the future!

Edited September 14, 2019 by SwedishGuy

[Marv]

Yeah, I'd say a good move would be to wait and see how things develop. It's good to work yourself out first and see what you think. It's good that you're not afraid of the future, a lot of people are. I'll admit, I definitely fear the future sometimes. Another reason it's probably good to give yourself time is also so you can pay attention to the whole asexual/aromantic thing. Sexuality is a fluid thing, it can change as you mature and realise maybe there are things you do and don't want. I for one used to not be interested in relationships at all. It used to annoy me when people would say 'I'm sure you'll find someone' or 'you'll fall in love' or 'you'll want kids, most women always do', and it REALLY annoyed because I seriously wasn't interested in a relationship. I didn't know that aromantic was a thing though. I was honestly more concentrated on learning and friendship. Now that I've somewhat discovered my sexuality, I've realised that a relationship might not be so bad. I'm open to it, but I still don't crave it or anything - thus I come back to the same point: that sexuality is very complex and fluid, not saying you'll change but being open and, like you said, no fearing the future, is a good mindset to have! Glad I could help a little

[SwedishGuy]

I was always different in a positive way as in a negative way. There should be a reason why my parents gave me the nickname Gramps. I had problems finding friends in my childhood and early teens, because people thought i was boring. I wasn‘t familiar with the phrase asexual/aromantic either, but i made a pact with my cousin at the age of 6 that we won‘t have any girlfriends. Needless to say he broke this pact, however i didn‘t and i‘m kinda proud about it.

 

By the way my waiting strategy is kinda paying off. He actually asked me if i‘m free to hangout with him, but i turned him down, because i can‘t (no i didn‘t lie lol). Oh and he again said i know you love me, because i was testing if he would react the same as last week. My feelings are on a trip again, but i know they will settle down soon.

 

You‘re so true with this whole fluidity stuff. Sexuality is fluid and my feelings for him are too i think. I feel like a crushing teen girl as well as a grumpy old grandpa, who just wants his peace. It‘s difficult to explain but i hope you understand it a bit. This feels like a therapy session to me😅😂😌

Edited September 16, 2019 by SwedishGuy

[Marv]

Haha, a therapy sesh, yes. Well, they're not exactly a bad thing...

Yeah, I understand. I've had complicated feelings towards someone before, not too long ago. That's its own story though - which I can tell if needs be.

Well, I'm glad that your waiting game is paying off! And it's clever, and good, that you're able to test the waters a bit with him and see what you get. See if you can hang out with him then at some point? see what you can get from it! You never know!