I don’t know if I’m transgender or not, I need help to confirm if I am.

[Idkjustconfused]

I’ve always thought that i was meant to be born a boy not a girl. When I was younger (maybe 3-6) I believed I was a boy until someone told me I wasn’t. I feel so much more comfortable and confident when I think of myself being a man. I hate the body i have so much. I just wanna know what to do, most of my family wouldn’t accept me. I don’t have enough money to move out though, I can’t really talk to anyone who would understand how I feel.

[Marv]

Hey @Idkjustconfused

I'm no one to judge, but by the sound of it you could be transgender. My best friend was born female, but for years felt wrong in his (her) body, It wasn't until recently - in the last few years - that he (she) came out as trans and wanted to be male. Have you done some research on it? But by how you describe your feelings towards your body, I would say you are possibly trans. If you haven't already, though you do seem to be set on being more comfortable as male, have you looked into non-binary? It may not fit how you feel though.

My friend, what he did was start by changing himself very subtly. So, he bought boys clothes, he wore boys shoes to school, then cut his hair super short (he had long hair originally) and THEN came out. He was brought up in a very religious family so it was very hard for him to come out too. But in the end, he did and they were accepting - though I know this isn't the case for everyone.

Do you have any friends around you who you could possibly discuss it with? If not, I'd recommend social media being a good place to start. There are tons of Instagram pages for LGBTQ+ people, and a lot of them are happy to have you direct message them and discuss things if you'd like to - but also, by all means, drop messages here! But pages on social media are good because you can connect with people who are going through the same thing as you, which can be very helpful.

 

[Idkjustconfused]

Hi thanks for replying. I have thought about if I’m transgender before but I just put the idea to the side, idk why I felt like it wasn’t an option for me (being from a religious family) even if it made me happy. I don’t really have friends that’s why I came here lol. I don’t know if I am non binary though, I hate being feminine I always wear boy clothes and my hair is short, yeah kinda like your friend you are talking about.

[Marv]

No problem at all.

Aww, bless you. Well, you've come to a good place and we'll try to help as best we can.

Okay, so you wear boy clothes and you have short hair, and you 'hate being feminine'. Like I said, I don't know you and I can't give any professional opinion, but I would definitely say by how you've worded this you're trans.

It's hard when you're from a religious background, I understand that.

If the idea of being male makes you happy and makes you feel better, then, although it's a long journey, head towards that idea. Just keeping your hair short and wearing the clothes you want can help you feel happier about yourself. That's what my friend did for a little while until he came out.

In addition, since you've been wearing boy's clothing and have short hair already, there's a chance that your parents may have some kind of idea anyway; that's what parents are sometimes good at. For example, when I came out to my mom that I wasn't straight, she said something along the lines of 'oohhh, I thought so'. Sometimes they just have a hunch I suppose - *this isn't the same for everyone though*. So you might find that IF you were to confront someone about it at home, they might already have thought about it. This may not necessarily be the case though.

I'd recommend doing some reading on being transgender, what it entails, and if you want to, read into female to male transgenders. You could also look into books - if you have a bookshop nearby there's a chance there will be some form of LGBT book, or use Amazon and order one. You could look up fanfictions. Anything could help.

 

 

[Remi]

Hey there @Idkjustconfused

 

Welcome to community and thanks so much for posting here, we see you and we're here to help.

 

I am going to have to disagree with Marv this time and say that there is no way for any of us to answer whether or not you are trans, gender dysphoria is something that needs to be explored with a Dr or a medical professional.

 

Also I am not very feminine but I still feel I am a women, because gender is fluid and there is no RIGHT way or WRONG way to be a woman. Being non-binary is a choice if you feel like the labels of both men and/or woman do not feel right for you.

 

I know lots of women that have short or no hair and dress very masculine. It really is okay to explore and express your gender in a way in which you feel comfortable - and maybe you just need permission that that is okay to do so i'm giving you that permission now.

 

Remi

[Marv]

That's what I meant sorry. I should have specified more that I can't give a professional opinion. It's not really something I can say for sure. My friend had to go to a GP a few times and then got referred to gender clinics and things.

[Idkjustconfused]

I’ll do some more research on it. Maybe I can find a therapist that specializes in that area as well. I appreciate you giving your opinion even if you’re not a professional, I’ve never talked to someone about this before so an outside point of view is very helpful. My parents don’t really understand what it means to be transgender so it would be a long process for them to accept it, on top of that I would also still be pansexual which they also don’t know about. I would really being dropping a bomb on them lol. I would hope that they would be accepting in the future though.