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how do i stop my sister from calling me by my deadname


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Hi I'm Alysha, I'm 13 and I'm non-binary and pan-sexual.

my family are very supportive to who i am but my sister is the most homophobic human on this planet. every day she calls me a faggot, calls me by my dead-name and she says the wrong pronouns. its extremely hurtful and i cry myself to sleep every night because of it.

I'm so scared to confront her .

i need advice because I'm on the verge of giving up.

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Hey there @Alysha

I'm sorry about your sister. However it's very good to hear that your family is very supportive. Before confronting your sister, I'd talk to someone else in your family about it maybe? If you're scared to confront your sister, maybe asking your mom/dad to do it would be a good idea and hopefully it can be resolved somewhat. It's a bummer that not everyone gets it, but I really hope she sees that she's being hurtful to you.

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I'm sorry if this offends you but you're sister is a horrid human being, have a chat with your parents, call a family meeting to talk about this, because this isn't right, im 14 and lesbian i came out to my parents 1 year and a half after i found out and then i told the rest of my family, my whole family is super homophobic and i have to deal with it everyday, i sometimes cry myself to sleep just like you, you just need to talk to the people making you feel like crap

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Hello @Alysha


I'm so sorry to hear that your sister isn't supportive of your identity. I agree with @Marv (as always :p) I think you should speak to another family member about this and get them to advocate for you on their behalf. It is too much of a micro-aggression on you to keep having to defend your identity to her and your family should understand this. Usually, people react like your sister because of a lack of understanding of gender expression because it is not something that they have personally had to question. Could you try and explain this to her?


Don't give up and remember that there are so many people that value you and your identity.


Sending positivity your way.



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