Peachy Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Hey there! The name's Peachy, but you can call me Peach. I'm a 14 year old bisexual trans male furry, and I'm looking for advice on coming out to my parents, about my sexuality and my gender. My mother is incredibly supportive and I love her to death. She has said countless times that she will love me no matter who I am - if I like guys or if I like girls, or whatnot. She's also totally on board with the furry thing; I haven't officially declared myself a furry to the fam yet, but I talk about it enough to make it sort of obvious. It isn't her I'm worried about. It's my dad. My dad… I have no idea how he'll react. He's convinced that furries are a fetish thing, not a normal hobby, and nothing I say can change his viewpoint. If something that minimal sets him off, I'm scared about what might happen if I tell him I'm completely changing my gender. I've always been very tomboyish - I hated dresses, hated dolls, and would rather get down in the dirt and rivers and mud, and play dangerous sports - so I hope this will make it a little less shocking. I also had my hair cut very short last month. I'm in need of advice from people who've already come out. How did you do it, how did your family react, and where did you go from there? What questions did your parents ask and how did you answer them? Any help is much appreciated <3 thank you! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alysha Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 Hi peach, I'm Alysha and i came out to my family about a month ago for being non-binary and Pan-sexual. My family were shocked at first but i expected that, i had already came out to my Aunt and closest friends before that so i had a place to stay in case they didn't take the news well. before i did any of this i did a lot of research and planned what i was going to say. i also though of all the answers of questions i knew that i was going to get, like 'how long have you known for' or ' are you sure that you are gay'. in the end i had to stay over at my aunts house just for 1 night so the news could sink in. they eventually accepted me and are the most supportive people in my life including my siblings. i hope this helped you out and i hope they accept you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted September 1, 2019 Author Share Posted September 1, 2019 Hey Alysha, thank you for the response! I've already come out to my closest friend and she was absolutely fine with it, so if anything happens I can stay over at her house for a day or two. I'm glad your family was so accepting! What kind of research did you do beforehand? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marv Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 Hey there! Okay, well what I would do is start with your mom. If you know she will take it well and support you and you trust her, then go for it. Never forget that you don't have to tell everyone/at once. I'm bisexual and didn't tell anyone for years. I've started to come out to some friends, and not long ago I came out to my mom. My mom and dad are cool with LGBT stuff, but at the time I was only with my mom. So currently, only my mom knows I'm not straight, my dad doesn't. I'll tell him one day, but right now I just haven't. If you're scared about telling them/your mom/dad, there are numerous ways you can do it: - Text/social media/email - this is a good way to drop it simply and this way you don't have to see their facial reaction. They can also reply to you easily. After you've sent the text, too, you can leave the house for a bit if you want to. - On a walk - this is good, this is how I told me mom. A nice chilled, short walk and just go for it. - In the car - this is a good place because it's confined, not too open, it tends to be a chilled environment. - Leave a written note - this is like the texting one, you can leave a physical note and leave the house if you want to. - Go for it face to face - You could also just tell some of your story - you could just say you're trans and bi, and leave the furry bit out if you want to. Or say it all in one go! It's up to you. I hope it goes well, and I hope this helps some how MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 Marv, thanks SO much. This is so incredibly helpful, you've got no idea! Thanks so much man. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marv Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 @Peachy You're very welcome! I'm glad I could help MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 Hey there @Peachy Welcome to the community, i'm Remi, one of the mentors here at Ditch the Label. Sorry to hear your Dad doesn't get you being a furry, it's likely because he doesn't understand it and it's more of a generational thing, but please don't worry, teenagers have been baffling and confusing their parents for a long time and i'm sure your Dad did things that his Dad didn't understand, could you say this to him and it might help him empathise with you a little more. Marv has given some great recommendations for ways to come out if you'd like to, but as she has also stated, there is no rush if you don't feel like it is the right time and often the right time chooses you and it just comes out at a time when you are ready. Good luck if you chose to come out to them and please let us know how it goes. Remi MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missabigail Posted September 4, 2019 Share Posted September 4, 2019 Hi peach, I'm Alysha and i came out to my family about a month ago for being non-binary and Pan-sexual. My family were shocked at first but i expected that, i had already came out to my Aunt and closest friends before that so i had a place to stay in case they didn't take the news well. before i did any of this i did a lot of research and planned what i was going to say. i also though of all the answers of questions i knew that i was going to get, like 'how long have you known for' or ' are you sure that you are gay'. in the end i had to stay over at my aunts house just for 1 night so the news could sink in. they eventually accepted me and are the most supportive people in my life including my siblings. i hope this helped you out and i hope they accept you Hi peach, I am Abi, I came out to my mum first about being a lesbian two years ago, it was an extremely hard conversation to have because its a topic that does not normally fit into most conversations, but I told her and the later my dad, but my worry was my grandparents because of there naturally stereotypical views on what relationships are supposed to be like, my grandad still doesn't know, but my nan found out after seeing a hickey on my neck, she was skeptical at first but when a girl stood me up the other day i went straight to her and she made me feel better. For most families its about adjusting to something unexpected but something thats also a really beautiful part of everyone! I wish you the best of luck, you will know the right time to say, i hope this helps MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.