How to go from low to high self esteem

[ParisKay]

Hi, I'm Paris

I'm 18 y.o, and I have low self esteem I already knew I wasnt attractive since day 1, my mom tells me how adorable I am but I know she only says so because I'm her daughter, I've never been the skinniest person and I'm not fat either I'm what you call over weight. I've always been like that since I was very young (about 3 years maybe younger). I've never had a boyfriend, I have never been called beautiful or attractive by men. My sister I always felt was prettier than me, she has wide hips, average height and weight for a girl, she has a prettier face, and big eyes. And she knows shes prettier too because she sometimes would take pics of herself and show me the pics she took and would say "I look so pretty". I dont have wide hips, more like a straight line set of hips, I dont have a pretty face, my eyes are small, I have bad skin my eyes hve dark circles around them, and i have uneven skin tone. Before it didn't bother me but now it's starting to take a turn on my self image. I'm trying to lose weight so I can try to gain some confidence. My self esteem has gotten so bad. That when my sister this morn told me that a guy asked her out. I was hppy for her but at the same time. I cried. That makes me feel even sadder about my appearance. I try to go by what my mom says "a man should love you for you" and "beauty flourishes from the inside out" I know that's true. But it wouldnt hurt to feel confident and comfortable in my own skin. I try to dress as feminine as possible but that doesnt help me. Nor does it attract attention from men. I need encouragement

Edited August 14, 2019 by ParisKay

[Remi]

Hello Paris,

 

Welcome to the community.

 

Self-esteem and self-love are a marathon and not a sprint and it will not just improve overnight. There are some steps that you can take to try and improve it. Firstly I know it's tough but please try not to compare yourself to others, we are all unique and we are not meant to look the same so comparing yourself to someone else will never make you feel better because you are you for a reason. Try following accounts on social media of people that look like you so you aren't comparing yourself online, I know you can't do that with your sister but you have great qualities too so try and see the beauty in yourself.

 

The truth is this is you and this is what you look like and you are going to look like you for the rest of your life so it's time to start loving yourself now as life is long and there are so many things more important than worrying too much about what we look like.

 

Same goes for guys, confidence is really attractive and most of the time when people meet romantically its because they have a connection, looks really aren't that deep. And your self worth should never be validated by which boys look at you.

 

Wear clothes that fit you well, go and treat yourself to something that makes you feel really special, write yourself positive affirmations on your mirror and try and stop all the negative thought spirals about yourself early on. If it's for you why not find a dance class or sport to play if you want to feel a bit stronger and healthier but don't let your weight be the motivation.

 

Sending lots of positivity your way and good luck with building your self esteem

 

Remi