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I love my best friend


Kerri5876    

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I have fallen in love with my best friend we have drifted a small bit but I still have really strong feelings for him I don’t know what to do I feel like I should tell him but I don’t want our friendship to change or get stuff like he opens up to me about a lot of things and I don’t want him to be afraid to even if he’s bit doing it on purpose I really don’t think I have a chance with him and I don’t know what to do

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I've experienced a similar thing recently. Myself and my best friend admitted that we liked each other and dated for a few months. Recently, I had to break the news to him that I'd if lost the spark in our relationship and felt it was best to break up. I worried for AGES that if I told him, he'd not want to be my best friend anymore, or that it'd forever be this awkward thing between us. I told him eventually.

In both scenarios (admitting I liked him and breaking up with him) I was worried I'd lose him. Not going to lie, it's a tough thing to do: tell someone how you feel. If you want to tell him how you feel, do it. If you don't then don't - or wait. You said that he's open about things, and if you're best friends then there's a good chance he'll take it well. You never know, he might feel the same way, but you're not going to know unless you say - but you don't have to say.

I'd say these things are often best said face to face, because you can explain yourself clearly and easily and the reaction of the other person is genuine and clear to you. But myself and my best friend told each other over text. We did it as a guessing game, asking questions like 'do you like anyone in our year group?' 'are they a girl or a guy?' 'do you have them in all your classes?' etc etc, gradually narrowing the field down until we both said we liked each other. Obviously, you don't need to do it that way. But you could send a text, something like 'Hi, you're always open with me, and there's something I've wanted to tell you for a little while but I've been scared that it'll come between us. I have feelings for you. I was wonder if you did too? Either way, I hope we can carry on being the good friends that we are'. Something like that.

 

I hope this helps!

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Hello @Kerri5876

 

Welcome to the community. Oh I feel you friendships and feelings can always be a little confusing to navigate. Do you think he has any feeling for you? I would say tell him but say that you don't want to pressure him into anything and you still really value your friendship and hope it doesn't change anything.

 

What do you think?

 

Remi

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Hey Kerri,

 

Well at least you know now and can so can put him firmly in the friend box and you two can enjoy just being friends again.

 

I know it's going to be hard seeing him with someone else, so if you need to take a bit of space away from the friendship then please do it. Protecting yourself and your feelings is not selfish, but definitely is necessary.

 

Sending lots of positive vibes your way.

 

Remi

 

 

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