How can I deal with the homophobia in my family?

[Hbug176]

Hi, my name is Hayden and I'm 14 years old. I live with my parents and two siblings and they are all christian and strongly against lgbtq+ people. I've known that I'm bisexual for a couple years now, I think I kind of knew when I was younger but I just never really tried to understand or explore it until recently? The thing is, now that I'm getting older and stuff, I end up getting pulled into conversations where they talk bad about the lgbtq+ community. I know they're against it, and I don't plan on coming out until I'm older, but it's still bothersome when I have to listen to them talk badly about lgbtq+ people. It's starting to really get to me, and not being able to really express myself or be part of the community is painful. I had a friend who was supportive and part of the community herself but my family isn't allowing me to see her or talk to her anymore at all. Being around so many people who are against it and not having anyone who would support my sexuality is really difficult and it's starting to take a toll on my mental health, and I'm just not sure how to deal with it anymore. Any advice you guys can give me?

[Marv]

Hi there.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands the community and not everyone has a positive attitude towards it. I think it's good that you've chosen not to come out - I believe it's good that people know that they don't HAVE to come out to people if they don't want to. There's no rush.

That friend you had, do they have any social media? Or do you see them in school? If they're in school, it might be a good shout to use the time you have with them there as best you can. It's a tricky situation to be honest. I've told somebody else that maybe social media could be a good shout. One of my close friends has a homophobic family and they're very open about the fact that they're homophobic. She keeps her sexuality a secret and even kept a relationship secret from them. What she did do though, was use social media. Instagram for example, she looks at lgbt accounts on there but doesn't follow them just incase someone checks her follows list and sees. I'm not necessarily saying to do things in secret, because I don't want you getting in trouble.

Also, if this is affecting your mental health too, do you have a friend who you could tell? A close friend. A good friend won't tell anyone if you tell them to keep it a secret.

 

I hope this helps in some way. I hope what i said it clear too D:

[IHATEME1478]

Hi Hayden,

I know exactly how you feel i have a friend named hayden in my school he's the same age as you too, i understand what it's like to be around homophobic people i live in a homophobic family and surprisingly i came out to them (i'm lesbian btw), the thing is some people whether they're apart of the lgbtiqa+ community or not think that everyone apaart of our community has to come out no matter what and don't realise that a lot of us don't come out until a few years later because we don't know what's going to happen and how others are going to react

Yours truly

@IHATEME1478 (aka Georgia)

[IHATEME1478]

Hi Hayden,

I know exactly how you feel i have a friend named hayden in my school he's the same age as you too, i understand what it's like to be around homophobic people i live in a homophobic family and surprisingly i came out to them (i'm lesbian btw), the thing is some people whether they're apart of the lgbtiqa+ community or not think that everyone apaart of our community has to come out no matter what and don't realise that a lot of us don't come out until a few years later because we don't know what's going to happen and how others are going to react

Yours truly

@IHATEME1478 (aka Georgia)

just in case your the hayden i know, which i doubt, but you never know