How should I come out?

[Jgrace5260]

Im still a teenager but in recent months I’ve been becoming more and more sure that I’m Bisexual. My closest friends already know, but I want to come out to both of my parents and my brothers. My mom has said before that (because of her Christian faith) if any of her kids ever came out she would be sad but that she could never stop loving us, no matter what. As for my dad, well, I don’t think he would take the news lightly. He’s not necessarily homophobic but I think he prefers just to pretend the LGBTQ+ community isn’t really there. That of course has a lot to do with how he was raised, but I’m worried about how he will react if I come out to him. I feel safe with my mother but my dad makes me nervous about topics like this...I’m not sure what to say or how to let him down easily. Could anyone with a similar experience (or just any good advice in general) help me figure out what I should do?

[Remi]

Hello @Jgrace5260

 

Well done for wanting to come out to your family and how did it feel coming out to your friends?

 

Remember there is absolutely no rush to come out to your parents before you are ready and sometimes if you are really stressed about coming out then it isn't quite the right time to do so. As sometimes it just comes out naturally.

 

However, if you still believe that now is the right time and that you would like to share this news with your family, then you could always tell your mum first and then try and tell your Dad together with her? Or you could write a letter telling them both everything you would like to know about the situation and say that it is important you shared this with them but you hope it won't change anything. It will be a gamble but just keep your head high and know that being bisexual is a completely natural thing and it may take your family time ot process the information but usually they do come round in time.

 

If you would like to practice what you would like to say by typing it out here - please feel free to.

 

Remi

[IHATEME1478]

Hi @Jgrace5260 ,

You shouldn't, feel rushed to come out, and honestly you don't have to tell your dad about it and tell your mum first, I suggest that you try and see how your dad reacts to talk about the lgbtiqa+ community.

There should never be any rush to tell anyone, especially if you think that telling someone would put you in a situation where you don't feel comfortable or safe in your own home, or if you think it will perhaps hurt your relationship with your dad, but if you feel that you don't want to keep secrets from your parents go ahead, just make sure your always in a safe situation first though.

- @IHATEME1478

[Jgrace5260]

Hello @Jgrace5260

 

Well done for wanting to come out to your family and how did it feel coming out to your friends?

 

Remember there is absolutely no rush to come out to your parents before you are ready and sometimes if you are really stressed about coming out then it isn't quite the right time to do so. As sometimes it just comes out naturally.

 

However, if you still believe that now is the right time and that you would like to share this news with your family, then you could always tell your mum first and then try and tell your Dad together with her? Or you could write a letter telling them both everything you would like to know about the situation and say that it is important you shared this with them but you hope it won't change anything. It will be a gamble but just keep your head high and know that being bisexual is a completely natural thing and it may take your family time ot process the information but usually they do come round in time.

 

If you would like to practice what you would like to say by typing it out here - please feel free to.

 

Remi

Thank you for the advice! Since you asked, I would like to start with saying that coming out to my friends was very easy. They’ve always been accepting and they make me feel safe. They were all very supportive of me! Now, I would like to take you up on the offer of practicing what I would want to say to my parents here! I have put a lot of thought into this, but I’m always looking for new advice so please, if you see anything you think I should change then please let me know! I’ll begin now. “Mom, what I want to talk with you about today is very serious and it means a lot to me. You may be a little shocked at first and I understand that but please don’t act too irrationally at first, give it time to settle with you. And please just know that, I’m telling you this because I love you and I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. Please keep in mind that I am very sure this isn’t just a ‘phase’ and that I’ve spent a lot of time being sure, otherwise I wouldn’t have even brought it up. Okay, I’m bisexual. I see girls the same way I see boys...but, myth busted! I don’t have an equal attraction to both genders. I tend to prefer boys, but there is undoubtedly an attraction to women in my heart. I don’t expect you to understand right away but I hope with time you can accept me. I’m still the same daughter I’ve always been, now you just know a little more about me. I love you and I know you’ll probably have questions so feel free to ask.� And then after that I’ll (hopefully) speak casually with her about it and maybe she could help me find a way to tell my dad, because I’m still lost on how exactly I’m gonna do that.