Jump to content

What should I do when a friend who used to be close is becoming controlling?


Isoflute    

Recommended Posts

I have a friend who I was pretty close too and I was there when she went through really low times. And now whenever we talk or are together she is controlling and won’t accepet me telling her no. She also only ever says or asks stuff when it’s for her benjfit and everything in mostly all about her and she will never ask how I am and it’s all about her her her. But I feel bad because I know she has a hard time at home but she takes it out on me and it is really making me feel down a lot of the time. And it is also hard for me to distance myself from her. So what should I do? Any advice is welcome.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Isoflute,

that sucks! have you tried telling her you feel the friendship can be a it one-sided somethimes? When people are going through something it often makes it harder for them to see things from other people's perspective - maybe a if you had a quiet word with her she may be able to change her behaviour? Have you read over this article of ours too? maybe you could show her? - https://www.ditchthelabel.org/are-th...est-otherwise/.

Either way, a friend shouldn't make you feel like that about yourself and you cannot be responsible for what is going on in her life remember it isn't your job to fix her and you have to look after yourself too. Does she have a support network at school she can talk to? it may be worth getting her some support from a trusted adult instead of relying on you.

 

I hope this helps somewhat.

 

Remi

 

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you so much I haven’t approached her about it but I do always direct her in the right way for support and she speaks with the school counceler. I might approach her about it because I have mentioned it but not directly so thank you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey there @Isoflute

 

Yes, if you feel like you can have that conversation with her. Then ask her if she would like to go to the school counsellor and see if they can offer her some further mental health support.

 

Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hey I’m Amanda and I’ve been having weird feelings about my friends. In out “friend group� we have 6-8 people and we are pretty close. I don’t know if it’s just me in my feelings, but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m kind of an afterthought to my friends. Like if they were planning a day at the mall or something, they would all think of each other but I feel like I have to stand up for myself and say I want to come it can I come. Like if one person was not at school, they would still remember and say “oh this person too� but if I wasn’t there to say I wanted to come then they would probably forget about me. I could be totally wrong about this but I just can’t seem to shake this feeling and it’s annoying. Also I do a lot of things because I get in my feelings, and sometimes it’s not right, but I caused drama with one of our close friends in the group because I felt like I was a better friend to her and cared more than she did. Then her mom found out and she was mad, but now that it’s summer it’s settled a bit, and I apologize to the friend and told her I was sorry, and I think she accepted it, but I texted her mom to say sorry for the inconvenience and drama i created and that I hoped to be friends still but I think she’s still mad because she never responded. I don’t know how to get out of this situation because the parents in our group are close and with one of them not liking me I’m not sure how things are going to work or move forward. I need help getting out of this toxic mess and finding light and fun in my friends. I can’t seem to shake these feelings for some reason and I want them to go away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...