What should I do about homophobic parents

[Lm207]

My brother who’s about 10 ish years older than me has been struggling with our parents bc they’re homophobic. We’re a super conservation Christian family except my brother and I are both gay. He came out around my age and I’ve always know I’ve liked girls since 5th grade. I don’t know how to come out to my parents bc whenever I try to or think about it they say something super homophobic, assuming I’m straight. My brother recently told them that he doesn’t care and he’s going to pursue a same sex relationship and my parents still love him, they just would never go to his wedding or want to know about his partner. They straight up told him they’d rather want him to be single than to find someone. That was super tough on me because I’ve been wanting to tell them for years (I’m 16) that I’m attracted to girls. I can’t just tell them and try and go to a safe space like school, as my mom is a teacher at the highschool and my parents are the super religious youth leaders. I feel like I can never escape them and just live in my own world. I just don’t know how to tell them. My brother knows and fully supports me, but he’s facing his own problems as well and it’s just super hard on the both of us to see our parents rather want us to be single forever than to “live in sin� the rest of our lives. Whenever I think of my future I imagine it with a women. Our older brother recently got marrieds and it was both tough on us to see our parents love and support his straight wedding. It was super hard on me to watch my dad get more excited for my future wedding that he expects to be with a man. If I told him I was gay it would shatter their hearts as 2/3 of their kids were gay. I don’t know what to do,

[Remi]

Hello @Lm207

 

This does sound like a tough situation to be in and watching your brother go through predjudice from your family. I would suggest that if you already know what kind of reaction your parents will have then why don't you not tell them until you really have to. For example I knew I was bisexual from the age of 13 and didn't come out to my Mum until I had a same-sex partner at 25. Coming out doesn't need to be rushed and if you already have the support of your brother it seems like you already have a great support network. It's frustrating and I know it's normal to want to vent - but it sounds like yoru parents attitudes are not going to change over night and it would be important to retain a good relationship with them.

 

I hope this helps.

 

Remi