Anthony IV Posted July 3, 2019 Share Posted July 3, 2019 When i confided in my best friend and told him I was bi, he seemed perfectly fine. Nothing changed between us, but then school started. He instantly started telling everyone my secret, and proceeded to make fun of me every opportunity he got. It was hard to be backstabbed like that. He was the only one I trusted enough, and he completely disrespected and disregarded me. He hurt me emotionally, made me weak, and now everyday I cry and hate myself and blame all of it on me. But it's not me. He was the jerk who hurt me, he was the one who made me feel like shit. It pains me everyday to think of what a great friendship we had, and now it's in shambles. I'm just so shaken up by what he has done to me, and I have no support other than this website right now. I was just looking at websites that are specifically for helping a friend that has come out as bi, and I was in tears. If he had cared about me he would of searched how to help, right? Last night I had a weird dream( I'm not going to explain), but I was fighting someone. I did not know who until I woke up. It was him. My brain put him in my dream and made us fight. Kind of weird, but just thought I should mention it. He has hurt me more then he could ever know, and I dont think I will ever be the same. It has shaken my trust in everyone and everything. Please help MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted July 4, 2019 Share Posted July 4, 2019 Hello @Anthony IV I'm so sorry that this betrayal is hurting you so much - the feeling of betrayal can be so intense feeling. Your friend did something really horrible to you but I think that anger and resentment when we sit and internalise them can actually do so much more damage to ourselves than to the person that hurt us. There is a period of time when we shoulds hurt and be angry but the most important thing for you to learn to do next is to try and let go of the past. Just because he has broken your trust does not mean does not mean that you can never trust again - we all have our own personal reasons for letting people down and maybe your friend just wasn't at a point that he could be the best friend to you. Write him a letter about how you feel but don't give it to him and try to realise that the situation has happened, we cannot change the past so it is time to try and let it go and move on if you can. We're here for you, Remi MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony IV Posted July 4, 2019 Author Share Posted July 4, 2019 I'm just so lonely right now because he was the only friend I had outside of being at school. So now everytime my brother has like 4 friends over every week, I just go to my room and cry because i dont have anyone to talk about my problems with. I get that i can talk here, but it's not the same as being face to face with someone. I have other friends, but we aren't that close and I dont see them anywhere but school. I feel like I'm driving myself insane and I hate it MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony IV Posted July 5, 2019 Author Share Posted July 5, 2019 Also, I try and forget him all the time, but everything reminds me of him. I dont know why, but it just does. It also doesn't help he tests me randomly asking random stuff, but I dont even read it. I just delete them and try to forget. I've spent the past 4-6 months trying to not blame him and I've apologized to him multiple times, but I shouldn't have to apologize when I didn't do anything. He should apologize to me but he hasn't. I just want everything to go back to last summer where he actually cared about me and tried to help me MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted July 5, 2019 Share Posted July 5, 2019 Hello, I know it hurts and you are grieving the end of youn friendship but why don't try and make some new friends? What are your hobbies could you join a summer club where you could meet some new friendly faces? Remi MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony IV Posted July 5, 2019 Author Share Posted July 5, 2019 That's where being depressed kicks in. I dont feel like talking to anybody or doing anything. There's no motivation and I'm just afraid of getting hurt again. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony IV Posted July 5, 2019 Author Share Posted July 5, 2019 I'm also not that outgoing to begin with. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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