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how do I come out as bi to my friends and family?


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I am a teenage girl and I am kind of struggling with myself lately. I have known I am bi for around a few months for now and I really don't know how to come out to my friends and family. We have talked about this topic a few times, and they said they would be fine with anyone in the family being gay, lesbian or bi but I am still scared. My stepdad does think I am lesbian and always makes jokes about me being lesbian in front of my whole family and then I get awkward and scream no because I am scared they will make fun of me. I do know they would accept me but I do not want my stepdad to make fun of me.

I am very scared and I do not know who to talk to because my friends don't know neither. I really do hope someone could give me advice on what to do.

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I don't know much about this but the situation seems good. It's okay to be scared. You should tell them in a way that's comfortable, like maybe a letter or just sitting them down and having a talk. If you're not comfortable telling yet it's okay, take your time.

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you dont need to tell anyone if your not ready to yet, it is completely your decision I think! but its really nice that your family are so welcoming of it already.


also, your stepdad making jokes sounds annoying, but it might be his way of trying to make you feel comfortable or his way of dealing with it. some parents arent sure the best way to help sometimes I think.


good luck with whatever you decide to do- youve got this! :)

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Hello @britt32


Well, the main thing to say to you is that if you have figured out your sexuality a few months ago then maybe it's worth exploring the journey on your own for a little while without the pressure of having family involved? You may want to settle into your new found identity first because this bit can be really fun.


It's rubbish that your stepdad mocks you but at least you know that when you are ready, you have a supportive group of people around you.


We're here for you !



This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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I know you've had a few replies already, but I thought I'd give a few ideas on how to come out. But firstly, don't come out until you're ready. It's totally normal to be scared and unsure of how people will react; come out to people you really trust, but also you don't HAVE to.


Okay, so coming out to friends/family:

- Text them - this is good because you're not face to face, so it isn't as scary,

- Call them - again, you're not face to face so it's a little less scary,

- Leave a note/letter - this is good, because you can leave it somewhere they can find it, leave the house/go out for the afternoon, they can read it and think about it and drop you a text or chat to you after!

- Go on a walk and chat to them! - I came out to my mom this way; we simply were walking back from somewhere and I just decided to say it,

- In the car - sounds like an odd one, but people sometimes come out in the car because it's a closed environment, it's usually peaceful and calm in the car, and people don't shout at one another, you're close to who you want to tell.

- Face to face - just doing it face to face. Scariest one probably.

- Email - basically texting but just another option.


Hope one of these helps you! :)

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  • 4 weeks later...



I agree with Remi, I know that it was hard for me to come out to my family even though they are very supportive, you should say to your stepdad to stop what he's doing and stuff because that's not right, i would know im lesbian and have been through that stuff like the gay jokes and shit, it took me 2 years to come out to my family and i think that its best as Remi said to wait t out a bit and explore this new found you, but if you think you can its good to talk to your family about it.

-the one and only


ps i hope we can be friends

pps sorry for the language i have some strong emotions on this topic ;):p

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