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I don't go outside anymore


ShutIn    

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First, i'll say that i know i'm the U-word(Ugly). I freakin' hate that word, too. It cuts me to my core and the 20 comments i've had in my life from mostly strangers stick to my thoughts and i can re-call them at anytime. I ended up quitting my job and being a total shut in. I play on the computer and stuff and try and keep busy working out, etc. but i'll always get down in the dumps when my mind starts racing about those damn comments i mentioned before.

I only really get outside when i go outside for a smoke which is usually at night as well.

 

Theres been a few times i've been in a real downward spiral and have had thoughts of suicide but i...well...i keep clinging on and try to hope for better days.

I really don't like looking at myself so i avoid it at all costs and when i do get a glimpse it can send me down to my depths again.

 

I guess i'm curious about how i can just relax my brain a little bit and try to get back to normal. How can i shut down my brain from the racing thoughts that send me down again?

 

I do take paxil and have for years but i still have had deep depressions while on it. I know i had one in 2017 or so where i could barely eat but i came out of that. I feel another deep one coming on and so far i can still eat pretty well but i still have the racing thoughts that i try to shut out and not let them take over.

 

I'd love some tips or tricks that can be helpful in helping me relax more and start building myself back up again.

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  • Ditch the Label Staff

@ShutIn Hey, thanks so much for sharing. Firstly, can I ask if you have support around you when you experience suicidal thoughts? Have you made any sort of plan? It's definitely worth opening up about this if you haven't already to your doctor so they an ensure you are properly supported.

 

We have some awesome tips here for dealing with stress and relaxing: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/stress-the-ultimate-guide/ at the bottom of the guide there are links to other helpful articles.

 

It takes time to build / rebuild confidence so just remind yourself it's a work in progress and take it step by step - always remember to praise yourself for the good stuff and give yourself a break on the days where you don't feel you've achieved much. Even iff you've managed to get up and shower - give yourself kudos for that.

 

We're always here.

 

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Hey Blondie.

I live with my family(mom, dad and sister) and my parents are aware of my depression/suicidal thoughts.

When i get real down i do think of ways but theres never a plan or anything.

 

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@ShutIn I'm glad you have support around you - keep sharing with them so they can help when you need it. Sometimes people are afraid to ask in case they are a "nuisance" but in reality people want to help when they can.

 

Would you consider going to the doctors for a wellness check?

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Hello @ShutIn

 

You are doing all the right things by keeping clear lines of communication with your family and friends.

 

I struggle with these kind of negative thought patterns and what often helps me is to remind myself that 'thoughts are not facts' - we can be our own worst enemy sometimes and it's important to challenge that when we are in these spirals that our brain can lie to us. Keep some positive affirmations on sticky notes and put them on your mirror. Try to just plan 1 errand to do out of the house each day and try and treat yourself to something when you do go out.

 

I hope some of this has and keep checking in with us here on the community.

 

Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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  • 4 weeks later...
@ShutIn Hey, thanks so much for sharing. Firstly, can I ask if you have support around you when you experience suicidal thoughts? Have you made any sort of plan? It's definitely worth opening up about this if you haven't already to your doctor so they an ensure you are properly supported.

 

We have some awesome tips here for dealing with stress and relaxing: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/stress-the-ultimate-guide/ at the bottom of the guide there are links to other helpful articles.

 

It takes time to build / rebuild confidence so just remind yourself it's a work in progress and take it step by step - always remember to praise yourself for the good stuff and give yourself a break on the days where you don't feel you've achieved much. Even iff you've managed to get up and shower - give yourself kudos for that.

 

We're always here.

Hi! I kinda understand how you feel. I used to be kinda "ugly" and I really felt that way because that was what my family would say to me. I have an immigrant family so they like to really tell it how it is, and they let me know I just wasn't conventionally good looking. But then I grew up and had a total glow-up. Now I get comments on the opposite end of the spectrum. But being on both ends has given me an insight....

I am still the same person either way, just that I look different. Looks are easily malleable over time and if you think about it, we will all one day grow old and wrinkled. But in any case, being "pretty" or acceptable in looks is honestly overrated because unless you try to profit off of them by manipulating people based off how good you look, you won't really heal your soul in the process. You will just have more superficial power, but it won't last. I've learned that being prettier doesn't make me happier because even if you may attract more people, "pretty" isn't going to define you long term. "ugly" doesn't either. These are both simply descriptions of the time being.

I try to be involved with things that I find to have more meaning. But if I do feel down about the way I look, I do something for self care like get a hair cut of get some new clothes. You're a human being, you weren't born just to look a certain way. It's hard to get out of this mindset but continue doing what you are doing. Keep doing your hobbies because things that bring you joy reminds you of your inner strength to build your OWN happiness. Best!!!

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