Lonely and scared

[kerouacdesbois]

My name is Kerouac, I'm 20 and I've recently recovered from severe depression and other various disorders that led me to do very dysfunctional things and ultimately hurt myself.

I'm much better now, but the loneliness is creeping back into my life and so is the dysfunction. My family is a major contributor to the stress and I am distancing myself from them, but regardless, I am unable to make any major connections with anyone.

One thing I seem to be good at is wrecking relationships; case in point, the person I was close to I upset and has ghosted me recently, after calling me ugly...

I'm feeling a bit hopeless, because I have a lot of love for myself and others that I would like to share but cannot seem to and I'm even resulting to websites like Omegle to find people to talk to...

I'm looking for advice.

Thanks,

-Kerouac

[Blondie]

@kerouacdesbois Thanks so much for sharing and it sounds like you’ve made some awesome steps in moving forward so try not to lose sight of that. Often we can still have little ‘wobbles’ in any recovery and it's completely normal.

 

What is your support system like in terms of depression / self-harm? If you don’t already, are you able to access ongoing therapy to keep you on track?

 

Making connections can be hard and takes some work but is absolutely possible. Have you tried something like MeetUp? There are so many different types of groups from really small gatherings for people who can be a little overwhelmed by socialising and which can be a great place to start. If you choose things that are aligned with interests you already have you also have a bit of a head start in conversation starters. It can give you the time to devote to building meaningful relationships without added stressors.