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How should I come out

Anthony IV    

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Hi @Anthony IV

There are numerous ways you can come out. But first, let me tell you: you don't HAVE to. You can keep it a secret as long as you want. I realised I liked girls when I was probably 15. I didn't tell anyone until I was 18 (this year). As of now, only six people know, and my mom wasn't the first to know, she was the last out of those six to know. What I'm saying it, there's no rush to tell people; you don't have to. But, by all means, if your instincts say to do to, do it!


Bunch of ways you can tell your parent(s)/friend(s):

- Text them - then you don't have to see their physical reaction

- Call them - a little more involved than texting, but still not as scary as in person

- Tell them in the car - this is a good one because it's usually a nice chill environment and car conversation is good right?

- Leave a note/letter - you're not physically there, you're not calling or texting them, this is a good once because the person can think over it if the need to

- Face to face - the scariest one probably. You could do this on a walk with them, or any time really. This is how I did it.

- Text/call/letter could be done whilst you're not at home too, so you're not with the person so it's kinda less scary, So you could leave a note for your mom, then go out with your friends for the day for example.


Hope one of these helps! and good luck <3

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Thank you for giving me some ideas. I'm really nervous, but I feel this weird pressure that's building inside me and its starting to make me feel uncomfortable. I will try and wait until the time is right, but I will definitely use one of the ways you listed. Thank you!

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Hi Anthony,


Welcome to the community, @Marv, as always, has some great ideas here about how to come out.


If you would like to you could practice what you'd like to say and write it here and we could give you feedback. Remember you don't HAVE to come out. Put yourself and your mental wellbeing first.


We're here for you!



This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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@Anthony IV Yeah I understand that. Kinda like a burning desire to tell someone? eventhough it's scary? By all means, go for it! I hope one of these ways works for you :) Good luck!

@Remi thank you! - and yes, that's a good idea; you can write it here and we can give feedback if you'd like? :)

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@Anthony IV No problem! And that's fine. I waited years until i started telling people. You can wait as long as you want to. :)

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