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16 & severely depressed


alianov    

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ever since i'm a toddler i've struggled with people calling me a faggot & stuff of that kind & their excuse to that was that i'm too feminate. i would always try to remind myself that i'm not what they call me, but after more than 10 years of intense bullying i've come to a point where i no longer know who i am. i met a guy a couple years ago & fell incredibly hard for him, which didnt surprise me that much since i've always had crushes on guys, & just when i started building my identity again as gay, my christian family told me i was going to burn in hell unless i took the gay off of me. they keep on telling me how disgusted they feel by the lgbt community & even my parents have made some horrible comments. i feel like i can no longer trust anybody cause somehow it's all gonna be used to destroy me. i feel desperately depressed cause i feel like my path is coming to an end & i'm afraid cause i feel i've let my God, family & friends down

Edited by alianov
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Hello @alianov I'm so sorry you have had these horrible things said to you.

 

there is nothing wrong with you and you should be free to love or fancy whoever you like. there treatment of you just shows their predjudice - it says nothing about you. The same for your family, they maybe fear what they do not understand and your sexuality is not just something people can 'take off' you - you were born this way!

 

You haven't let anyone down, although I know it feels that way right now. Sometimes family can take a long time to come round to your sexuality and you can still be out but keep it from your family while you need to.

 

Is there anyone at your school you can talk to about your depression or a counsellor that you can see?

 

We're here for you.

 

-Remi

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  • 2 months later...

I'm sorry to hear about that, but don't forget - people can say whatever they want, but only important opinion is yours. You know who you are, and anything they say cannot change that. Most of the people are automatically denying everything they don't understand so sometimes all you need to do is give them a time and try to explain it to them, but if they don't even TRY to understand, there's nothing much left to do for you.

 

It's always very hurtful to hear those things from your family and people close to you, also it's much harder to ignore them. But you have only one family, so really try to explain it to them and with some time, I'm sure they'll accept you for who you are. Because that's what the family is supposed to be about.

  • 2 weeks later...

HI @alianov I am very sorry to hear the struggles you are facing. but do not loose hope or give up. even if they do not come around you should still find happiness from within. they do that because their personality and brain chemistry is set like that but you are lucky to be having a different view. just be happy. I struggled a lot (and still struggling) the same way but i take time to be happy and enjoy the world traveling to recreate my brain. I Forget about what my society might think I am . May be I can be your friend.

Edited by patel
A typo

again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

nothing has been mentioned in my house for the last month and thats both good and bad, for i feel like they don't even care anymore how i might be feeling.

i appreciate you making sure i'm doing okay & i'd love to be friends with you

It's so wonderful seeing how you are all so supportive of one another. Life can throw many challenges at us but it is how we rise from the ashes and support one another that shows our true strengths!!!

 

Remi

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