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Abusive Wife


BNM    

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I am a dad of three, and married to the love of my life for 9 years. Our relationship has been going from bad to worse every single minute passes.

I lost my business and had to travel to the city leaving my family behind so we could get back our life on track. My wife however has been a torment on my life from drinking in my absence, unquenchable thirst for money, bad attitude and being disrespectful.

My love for her is a weakness for me. I have continually slumped into a withdrawn persona, lack of value for life, sometimes suicidal thoughts. She lies, submits when she needs money and cannot complete a single conversation,(text or voice without money or abuse.

I don't want our kids to experience our separation and I never want them to think their mother is a bad person. I don't want to miss in their life but I can't even make ends meet as I lost my job and getting another is proving a problem.

I was thrown out of my rental and she's the only person who I thought would be of help at least emotionally.

Uncertainty over my life shadows that of my children precariously.

I want to live for myself and my children too. I need help as my heart wrenches in bitterness and anger and regret of what I did wrong or did not do right

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Hello @BNM

 

Whenever I have spoken to children of separated parents they usually always would rather the parents be separated and happy rather than together and miserable. Children are very perceptive and they are likely already aware of the abuse and issues going on in your relationship.

 

Also, your wife sounds like she is very unhappy too as usually unhappy and hurt people act out in this way.

 

There is no need to bad mouth your wife to your children but maybe you could suggest going to see a counsellor together so you can have a mediator to discuss some of your issues in a space where you both feel supported.

 

-Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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I would like to second you on her being unhappy, but it would be better if she voiced the same to me.

It helps no one if you cannot directly say what is going in your life and yet you want things to get better.

​​​​​​

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Hello,

 

Yes communication is key in any relationship... and when people are struggling it can be hard to reach out or to be an effective communicator. Could you try writing down how you feel and doing some of the leg work with finding a counsellor?

 

-Remi

This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active.

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