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My mum keeps making comments on me weight


Aginger16    

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I used to be like a size 10 but all of my friends in high school where a lot thinner than me so I always thought I was fat I always have and it isn’t until now being 18 and finishing a levels I’ve realised just how big I’ve become.

I have no motivation to do anything to change it but I can’t even get out of bed in the morning anymore I hate the way I look but today I was looking for a dress for a wedding and had shown my mum (who I don’t get a long with really anyway) a tight dress I liked and she said I wouldn’t wear something like that especially with the weight you’ve put on it’d cling to all of your weight gain and I just don’t know what to do anymore I’ve spent most of my life trying to be the best I can for her and all she does is put me down for no reason I don’t understand what I have done to deserve this, for her to be so cruel to me all of the time my boyfriend is supportive he tries his hardest to help me but I just keep pushing and pushing I get angry I get upset and I think he is just going to become fed up I’m just at a total loss at the moment and I have no one to talk to

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Hey @Aginger16

 

This sounds like such a horrible experience to have and your mum should not be talking to you like that...My mum often said similar comments to me about my weight and my clothes and I think she had no idea how she would make me feel.. I think your mom could be projecting her own insecurities about weight onto you which is really unfair but try to remember it is not your fault and you should be able to wear whatever you want without judgement, especially from a family member.

 

At this age we all fluctuate our weight so much, it's so natural our hormones are surging/ there is added exam stress. It is normal and natural and you can be beautiful at any size but I understand why your confidence is knocked. I'm sure your boyfriend loves you, but it is important to share stuff out with your support network, so you don't feel as though you are overloading anyone.

 

You can always come here and vent whenever you need to. Just remember that your body is healthy, strong and it works! Love it and it will love you back.

 

Have a read of this article by Kitty on helping to get body confidence, I think it might help you!

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/body-acceptance-toolkit/

 

-Remi

 

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Hey @Aginger16

 

Yeah, I feel you, we, unfortunately, can't choose our family. I have a strained relationship with my Mum too so I can understand how you feel. There will be a time when she won't have such an influence over your life and your relationship may improve. \

 

Have you tried to speak to her about any of this?

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