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I might be gay but I'm not sure...


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Ok, I've only recently started questioning my sexuality again. Some time ago, I realised I liked girls and boys. Fine. But recent events are complicating things... So: a couple months, I and my best friend revealed we both liked each other, so we got together and trying it out. They're transgender (female -> male, not on anything/had any ops) which I'm totally fine with, I don't care. I like them not because they're female, or male, I just do. Simple as. But recently, I've been feeling like he likes me more than I like him. In addition, with my friend I talk about art stuff, so we often talk about people poses and references, and when she sends then, I swear I'm more attracted the the females than the males. I feel like, generally, I swing more to the girls. Fine. But not I'm questioning whether I'd happily have a full blown relationship with a guy. Thing is, I don't want kids, I hate the idea of sex, and I'd happily kiss a girl. Happily. I get confused because I do like some guys, I have liked some guys, I just don't know how much more, or less, than girls. Furthermore, when my friend does go full through with his transition, I wonder: will I still *like like* him? I don't want to confront him about it, because as I said I think he likes me more than I like him. I've said I know I'm not straight, and that I think I'm bi, but I never really said fully what I think I am. I'm not bothered particularly about the label, I just worry that maybe I am gay and how do express that once I find it out? I can't experiment because I'm with someone, but I don't know if it's right for me. Sometimes I feel like I'd prefer a girlfriend, maybe that says something too? I also wonder if all this questioning is just because I'm super repressed: when we go on a date, or I'm round his house, or if he sends 'I love you' or a heart emoji, I don't always say it back/do it back, what ever. Am I saving it for the righ moment? Or am I just not into him like I thought? I have no idea what to do...

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