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Am I really ugly?


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Hello everyone,


I am a cisgender 19-year-old girl.

When I was about 13, I looked completely different than I do now. For a little while I got bullied because of my looks: people would call me ugly, would say I'd never get a boyfriend, and say I look like boy.


Before that, I never really gave my appearance a second thought. I did not think I was pretty, but neither did I really think I was ugly. After the bullying, this image of myself changed and I began to think I am ugly.


Now, I am 19 years old and I changed a lot over the years. I lost weight, got rid of my braces and am better overall at composing myself. I did not make these changes for other people; I made them for myself. But I still feel ugly. I even started to do 'facial exercises', trying to 'naturally' change my face. Of course, these did not work.


Sometimes, when I'm cycling or just walking around, I'll hear complete strangers (pretty much always teenage boys) say something about my appearance. Sometimes I'll have my headphones on, and I'm not completely sure whether they're talking about me, but it sure feels like they are. They'd say I'm ugly or that I look like a boy.


I feel like a girl. However, some of my facial features could be considered more 'masculine', I guess. I have quite a strong jawline going on, small lips, and, in comparison to the rest of my facial features, a nose that's rather on the larger size.


I came to see someone calling me a 'young lady' as a compliment, because it somehow acknowledges the gender I associate with and feel like.

My friends continue to tell me I'm pretty, but I feel less than them or anyone else who never had been told they were ugly or look like a boy by complete strangers.


Am I really uglier than other people, who do not get told this?

I started to feel like I want to look different, like a person whose gender at not gets mixed up and who does not get called ugly by strangers.


I want to look pretty and like a girl, without make-up on, or wearing pretty clothes, or having to straighten my hair. How do I feel confident again? How can I smile without having to cover my mind, scared about how my nose will become bigger and my gum is shown?


EDIT: Also, I never had a boyfriend, which makes me think nobody likes me because of my looks? I don't go out much but still I'd think that I could've been in a relationship at my age and I blame the absence of it on my looks.


Sorry for the long post and sincerely, thank you, to the one reading this.


Much love,




As I see this as a safe space, here are two pictures of myself. One with make-up, and one without. Please keep them to yourselves :)

Edited by Remi
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  • 4 months later...


I have the same issues as you do. I have a very big and curvy nose and when you look at me from the side it looks as though my whole face is my nose. I am 18 and I've never had a boyfriend not even something small. Nobody has ever looked at me. I am quite an introvert so sometimes people need to talk to me first and no boy does that. I want you to now that you are not alone. We might live in different countries but I'm sure that many people think the same for themselves. The important thing is to feel comfortable in your own body and I'm sure you'll get there. Therapy might help, it has helped me.

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