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Is my friend invested in me? Nothing Goes According to Plan.


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I have had this friend for over ten years and we've talked about moving in together forever.

About nine months ago she asked me to move in with her after she closed on her house.

About six months ago she checked in with me and said she couldn't wait for the constant sleepover and to get to bake cakes and other fun activities with me.

A couple days ago I received a letter from my current apartment landlord that I needed to renew or move out.

So I messaged my friend and asked if she was ready to live together and she sent me:


"About that. I'm okay with your boyfriend coming over, but after I thought about it. I don't want your cat here."


I have photos of my cat plastered all over my Facebook profile and we've talked about my cat before. Why did she not think about this months ago? I asked her why my cat was a problem. She said:


"I'm just not ready to have any animals yet." And then, "I have a work friend living with me now and she is allergic to cats."


And this most recent interaction has only reminded me of the numerous occasions during our childhood where she'd invite me over to her house, then invite someone else over and tell me I couldn't come over because she decided to have someone else over.


Am I just her backup friend? We've had some really great laughs and experiences together but I just don't feel...special? Or wanted. I just want to be someone's favorite friend.


I just don't know if maybe I'm the one with the issue here or if it is her.


​​​​​Shes the kind of person who has a new "bestie" or "sister" each month and takes lots of photos with new work friends.



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  • 1 month later...

I understand what you are going through. My former best friend would come over to my house and text me and we would do stuff together every day. Over the course of this year, however, we've went from best friends to not even talking. He seemed to have just moved on from me to someone else in a heartbeat. I trusted him with everything, and it feels as if I got backstabbed in return.

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