Self hate and more

[Paul222]

Lately I have been feeling bad, and it goes all the time around my head every day and night. I always keep telling myself that I hate myself no matter If its the looks, character or even all the things I do. I also feel that nobody likes me and that I simply dont fit anywhere. I was actually bullied before a lot and that has affected the way I act and so, but I already want to forget on that and just simply move on because I dont want to bother with bad feelings. I also want to change myself with the way I look no matter if its the body or something else. I really dont know how to move on towards better self.

 

Any help will be much appriciated!

[Remi]

Hey @Paul222

 

 

Sorry to hear you are struggling with your self esteem and confidence right now. The reason it feels like it goes round and round in your head is because we can get stuck in a negative thought loop which it sounds like you are in right now. This negative voice in your head is telling you that you are unlovable and not good enough but you have to remember that this voice is a liar. We all have this negative voice inside of us, if you can, try to turn the volume down on it. Being bullied has impacted this, but none of that was your fault.

 

I think the way to move forward is to try and challenge negativity with love and positivity, it's your mindset and not you that has to change. You could do something nice for yourself like having a haircut or buying a new shirt as a treat to yourself if you want to make yourself feel better. But you are enough just as you are and i'm sure if you could meet you for the first time you would see how amazing you are.

 

Self love is a tough journey but if you can make small challenges to these thoughts, hopefully your brain will start believing it too!

 

-Remi

[Marv]

Okay, so.

I was bullied when I was 11/12 for a whole year by the same person. I look back, and I realise it was because I was different from all the other kids, and I was doing well in my lessons, I wasn't a popular kid at all either, I've no clue why they bullied me, but hell they caught me in their web. They sat on my friends' lunch table once and I couldn't bring myself to even go into the lunch hall. It was horrible. After that year, it went away, but I became a quieter kid in general. Some years later, I came back out my shell.

Now, I have a friend who feels similar to you; he feels like he has to be quiet in conversations, he feels like he shouldn't input in conversation, he feels like he isn't relevant and feels like he sticks out and doesn't fit in. I'm also going to uni soon, and I always dread the 'will I fit in'.

The truth is, the way I deal with it: there isn't any point hiding. Hiding your true self from people hurts you and that isn't far. So, my advice to you (it's easier said than done), is just go all out. Go experiment with clothing, if you're interested in considering body changes, research it, follow some groups and see if you can ask about it. You don't deserve to hide yourself. When I reached final year of school, I thought, you know what, I'm not hiding in my shell anymore, and I started wearing what ever the hell I liked, I started throwing myself into conversations, and I tried to just be myself. It's hard, but once the step is taken, you'll feel better.

Furthermore, I 100% and always will believe that are friends for EVERYONE. Sometimes they are tricky to find - I didn't find my true friendship group until I was over a year into high school - but they're out there.

You are lovable, you are likable, you are unique, you are special, you are YOU.

 

I hope this helps in some way <3