I want to help but I don't know how

[Justtryingtohelp]

So I have been with my boyfriend for a while now and I have known that he struggles with depression, but it comes and goes and it hasn't been bad recently. Today and last night he was having a really negative time. He told me he has trouble with body image and even though he is really strong and works out all the time, he still sees himself as worthless and not good enough and out of shape. He can't go see a therapist because of his families beliefs and can't take anti-depressants or medications for other reasons, so he is really struggling with seeing how this can get any better. I want to help but I don't know what to do or suggest or say. Please help

[Remi]

Hello @Justtryingtohelp

 

It's really great that you have asked for help on how to support your boyfriend. This shows how much you care about him. Often when someone is depressed it is their depression telling them all these horrible things about ourselves - even if this is not the person the person that everyone else sees, it is frustrating!

 

When someone is feeling like this the best thing you can do is allow them to feel, and let them know you are there for them, he probably feels like he is being a burden so just let him know that you are here for him.

 

Also, remember you can only do so much and you are not responsible for his mental health, try and remember to do lots of self-care and don't be too worried about saying the wrong thing. He is accessing counselling which will be helping. Give it time for these things to take effect.

 

Here are some articles I think may help.

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/what-not-to-say-to-a-depressed-person/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-talk-to-your-friends-about-mental-health/\

 

And here are our 25 top tips on self-care - https://www.ditchthelabel.org/25-ways-practice-self-care/

 

-Remi