Idk whether we are friends or she is using me?

[Yeboi9091]

Background: I have been friends with this girl about two years now and at some point, I had a small thing going with her but she decided that it wasn’t going to happen so we ended up staying friends. It took a bit because I had to fight for the friendship but it all worked out when our putting from our circle made us become closer friends than before.

 

Though we are better friends now and we spend almost everyday together because we have similar classes. I find it hard to believe if she is truly my friend. I do help her a lot in many classes. But I also feel like whenever she talks to another friend guy or girl she would give them a hug or just have a better interaction with them. With me, it’s not the same and I rarely get hugs and her reason is because she always sees me. I do sometimes get feelings for her as well as I do feel like I’m just a friend who is always there for her. She has picked me back up on my feet when I have cried or felt very bad about myself. She also does feel bad when I help her too much because she doesn’t know what to do for me back.

 

Im just utterly confused I feel like sometimes the thing we had in our past really holds back our friendship. We do have our deep talks and sometimes when I text or try and talk about something about myself , she listens but usually doesn’t care about it.

 

Am I being insecure? I don’t get why she treats everyone else so nicely and upbeat and then with me she’s usually grumpy or tired. Is she actually a good friend even though I feel neglected and taken for granted or is it my own thoughts putting me down? I highly doubt she likes me anymore because she has had many things with other guys who are way better and she never really tells me about them till after her fling ends. I have nothing against her. I just want opinions in if I’m being insecure or if it really is her

 

[Remi]

Hey there @Yeboi9091

 

Okay, so I am not in the situation so I don't know exactly, but from what you've said I have a few theories on what it could be. You say you used to have a bit of a thing but she decided that it wasn't going to happen. Maybe the reason she is less tactile with you than other friends is because she doesn't want to give you the wrong impression that she wants more because of your history?

 

Also, you say that she says to you that she feels as though she doesn't need to make an effort with you, could be that she is just really comfortable around you and so she feels as though she doesn't want to 'put on a show' for you. Either of these suggestions could make sense, however, if her behaviour is making you feel down you should try and say something to her. Just along the lines of do you appreciate our friendship because sometimes I am unusure?

 

What do you think?

 

-Remi