IS HE INTO ME OR DO I NEED TO MOVE ON. PLEASE HELP!!!

[ribboness]

Ok so basically there's this guy that I was talking to a few months ago. I hit him uo first and our convos were interesting but he started lagging a lot but he wasn't dry. So I took is as him not being into me so I starting being a bit dry waiting for him to just leave me on read, but he always found a way to keep the convo going (still replying like once or twice a day) so I ghosted him (which I don't usually do but I kinda felt like he was just messing w me) Anwyays a month or two later he likes one of my stories (a pic of me) and I'm surprised and its been a few months of him liking one of my stories every once in a while but only the ones that are of me. Idk if that means anything of what going on but I have only likes one of his stories since we stopped talking and nothing else has happened so idk. Should I just keep liking kis stories and he likes mine until one of us stop or do I need to get a hobby. Also from a guys perspective, what is he doing? please help!!!

[Aurora]

On 7/23/2024 at 3:03 AM, ribboness said:

Ok so basically there's this guy that I was talking to a few months ago. I hit him uo first and our convos were interesting but he started lagging a lot but he wasn't dry. So I took is as him not being into me so I starting being a bit dry waiting for him to just leave me on read, but he always found a way to keep the convo going (still replying like once or twice a day) so I ghosted him (which I don't usually do but I kinda felt like he was just messing w me) Anwyays a month or two later he likes one of my stories (a pic of me) and I'm surprised and its been a few months of him liking one of my stories every once in a while but only the ones that are of me. Idk if that means anything of what going on but I have only likes one of his stories since we stopped talking and nothing else has happened so idk. Should I just keep liking kis stories and he likes mine until one of us stop or do I need to get a hobby. Also from a guys perspective, what is he doing? please help!!!

Hi @ribboness, how nice to hear from you again . I'm afraid I can't give you a guys perspective but I thought I would answer anyway. I hope that's OK? 

My advice would be to listen to your gut. From everything you've been telling me I get the impression that you think he might like you but at the same time he is keeping his options open and is messing with you. I also have the feeling that you don't trust him. Is that right? However, there seems to be something about him that does seem to intrigue you, which is why he's on your mind. Did I get that right? What I find helpful in these kinds of situations is to think about what kind of advice I would give to a friend who is in the same situation as me. Do you think that might give you some clarity as to what to do next? 

[ribboness]

On 7/25/2024 at 3:39 AM, Aurora said:

Hi @ribboness, how nice to hear from you again . I'm afraid I can't give you a guys perspective but I thought I would answer anyway. I hope that's OK? 

My advice would be to listen to your gut. From everything you've been telling me I get the impression that you think he might like you but at the same time he is keeping his options open and is messing with you. I also have the feeling that you don't trust him. Is that right? However, there seems to be something about him that does seem to intrigue you, which is why he's on your mind. Did I get that right? What I find helpful in these kinds of situations is to think about what kind of advice I would give to a friend who is in the same situation as me. Do you think that might give you some clarity as to what to do next? 

hihi! thanks for responding!! tbh im not sure what to think because getting mixed signals from him is sooo confusing. its not that i dont trust him i just dont really know him like that yk? and yes he is on my mind way to much but also I think its bc both the fact that he is soooo my type and that he is giving mixed signals. Maybe him just liking my stories is not a sign that he's into me and he's just doing it in a casual and more friendly way but also I have no idea. bc when we were talking I think I made it obvious I likes him bit he never flirted back but he also didn't change the subject or ghost me which is what most ppl would do if they don't feel the same way. He was sort of igniting it now that I think about it. but he kept finding ways to keep taking to me so idkkk. ugh he's so confusing. if my friend was in my situation id tell her to get over it and move on bc he's not doing anything about it when oyther guys are. but I don't what other guyssss. so confusing I wish he would just block me lmao.

[Luie]

45 minutes ago, ribboness said:

hihi! thanks for responding!! tbh im not sure what to think because getting mixed signals from him is sooo confusing. its not that i dont trust him i just dont really know him like that yk? and yes he is on my mind way to much but also I think its bc both the fact that he is soooo my type and that he is giving mixed signals. Maybe him just liking my stories is not a sign that he's into me and he's just doing it in a casual and more friendly way but also I have no idea. bc when we were talking I think I made it obvious I likes him bit he never flirted back but he also didn't change the subject or ghost me which is what most ppl would do if they don't feel the same way. He was sort of igniting it now that I think about it. but he kept finding ways to keep taking to me so idkkk. ugh he's so confusing. if my friend was in my situation id tell her to get over it and move on bc he's not doing anything about it when oyther guys are. but I don't what other guyssss. so confusing I wish he would just block me lmao.

Heyy @ribboness, I am Luie, one of the other support mentors with DTL. I thought I'll jump in while @Aurora is offline, hope you do not mind. But if you'd like to wait for her do let me know and that's cool too, whatever is best for you. 

 

So, I totally get why you're feeling so confused right now. Mixed signals are the worst because they keep you guessing and stuck in this weird in-between space. It sounds like this guy has you intrigued, but his behaviour is making it hard for you to figure out what he really wants. Also, it's interesting that when you were talking, he didn't flirt back but also didn't shut you down, which can be super confusing. It sounds like he might be interested but is either unsure how to show it or maybe just enjoys the attention without wanting to commit to anything more. Him liking your stories every now and then could mean he still thinks about you or finds you attractive, but it might not be a clear sign of anything deeper. I think it's great that you acknowledged what you'd tell a friend in this situation, in my experience, sometimes it’s easier to see things clearly when it's someone else. If another guy isn't appealing to you right now, that's totally okay too. It’s normal to want clarity from the one person who's on your mind.

How about this: You could try reaching out to him one more time and see how he responds. Maybe bring up something casual and see if he shows more interest or if the conversation feels one-sided again. That way, you might get a better sense of where he stands. Another thing you might want to do is focus on something you enjoy or start a new hobby. It can help distract you from overthinking about him and give you something positive to look forward to.

What do you think? Does that sound like something you might want to try?

 

[ribboness]

23 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @ribboness, I am Luie, one of the other support mentors with DTL. I thought I'll jump in while @Aurora is offline, hope you do not mind. But if you'd like to wait for her do let me know and that's cool too, whatever is best for you. 

So, I totally get why you're feeling so confused right now. Mixed signals are the worst because they keep you guessing and stuck in this weird in-between space. It sounds like this guy has you intrigued, but his behaviour is making it hard for you to figure out what he really wants. Also, it's interesting that when you were talking, he didn't flirt back but also didn't shut you down, which can be super confusing. It sounds like he might be interested but is either unsure how to show it or maybe just enjoys the attention without wanting to commit to anything more. Him liking your stories every now and then could mean he still thinks about you or finds you attractive, but it might not be a clear sign of anything deeper. I think it's great that you acknowledged what you'd tell a friend in this situation, in my experience, sometimes it’s easier to see things clearly when it's someone else. If another guy isn't appealing to you right now, that's totally okay too. It’s normal to want clarity from the one person who's on your mind.

How about this: You could try reaching out to him one more time and see how he responds. Maybe bring up something casual and see if he shows more interest or if the conversation feels one-sided again. That way, you might get a better sense of where he stands. Another thing you might want to do is focus on something you enjoy or start a new hobby. It can help distract you from overthinking about him and give you something positive to look forward to.

What do you think? Does that sound like something you might want to try?

hihi!! thanks for responding!! i kinda agree with u saying he might just like the attention and not want to commit to anything bc that was sort of the vibe I was getting at first. I was just thrown off when he started giving me more attention after I stopped giving him any. but I guess that could tie into him just giving me more attention to get it back from me. I don't think I want to reach out to him bc I'm not the desprate for an answer and I feel like reaching out twice is too much haha. he's not on my mind 24/7 but when I get a notification w his name on it it makes me rethink what I alr thought abt him. 
I did get a lot of clarity from this thank you!! I feel like if he wants something more he would do something about it and until then I shouldn't worry too much abt it and maybe after some time I'll get over him. thank you!!

[Luie]

21 minutes ago, ribboness said:

hihi!! thanks for responding!! i kinda agree with u saying he might just like the attention and not want to commit to anything bc that was sort of the vibe I was getting at first. I was just thrown off when he started giving me more attention after I stopped giving him any. but I guess that could tie into him just giving me more attention to get it back from me. I don't think I want to reach out to him bc I'm not the desprate for an answer and I feel like reaching out twice is too much haha. he's not on my mind 24/7 but when I get a notification w his name on it it makes me rethink what I alr thought abt him. 
I did get a lot of clarity from this thank you!! I feel like if he wants something more he would do something about it and until then I shouldn't worry too much abt it and maybe after some time I'll get over him. thank you!!

Heyy @ribboness, I'm really glad to hear that you're feeling more clarity after thinking things through. It makes total sense that his increased attention after you pulled back threw you off—it's like he's keeping you on the hook just enough to stay in your thoughts without actually making any moves. It's completely normal to have mixed feelings when someone you're interested in gives you inconsistent signals. And it sounds really healthy that you're not desperate for an answer and don't feel the need to reach out again. Trusting your gut and knowing your worth is super important.

It’s great that you’re thinking about not stressing too much over him and letting things unfold naturally. Focusing on yourself and what makes you happy is always a good move. Maybe channelling your energy into a hobby or something you enjoy could help keep your mind off him and make the waiting game a bit easier. Also, we are here if you want to revisit this and think out loud. 

Hope you have a lovely rest of the weekend 

 

[ribbon]

On 7/23/2024 at 5:03 AM, ribboness said:

Ok so basically there's this guy that I was talking to a few months ago. I hit him uo first and our convos were interesting but he started lagging a lot but he wasn't dry. So I took is as him not being into me so I starting being a bit dry waiting for him to just leave me on read, but he always found a way to keep the convo going (still replying like once or twice a day) so I ghosted him (which I don't usually do but I kinda felt like he was just messing w me) Anwyays a month or two later he likes one of my stories (a pic of me) and I'm surprised and its been a few months of him liking one of my stories every once in a while but only the ones that are of me. Idk if that means anything of what going on but I have only likes one of his stories since we stopped talking and nothing else has happened so idk. Should I just keep liking kis stories and he likes mine until one of us stop or do I need to get a hobby. Also from a guys perspective, what is he doing? please help!!!

You asked for a guys perspective and I see you didnt get any, so I made an account just to respond.

I cannot be absolutely sure about what he thinks or what he's doing, to do that I would need to know how he looks like, what his hobbies and interests are, what his friends are like, how you look like, and other variables that would change my guess on what he's looking for.

So since I dont know any of that, I will use what I know about the average 17 year old guy.

The only thing I can guarantee, is that he's not being playful, men will not talk to a woman to be her friend, they already have many other friends, if a man is talking to you, he is probably interested in you, otherwise he wouldnt even bother to send you a message, same can be said about the liking of stories, this feature is made to show interested without actually saying anything.

Now you said that you were talking to him and he kept responding, again, this shows that he is interested, but you say it didnt end up leading anywhere. That is probably because he is anxious and doesnt know how to flirt, from that I will assume that he hasnt got many girlfriends in his life, if he was a player, he would have already taken what he wanted from you. You also mention that you showed clear interest in him, but how did you do that? I know it might seen like an obvious sign to you, but you might've heard from other men that a woman's signs are the worse, no wonder there are so many memes about this, so what im getting at is that your signs were probably not clear enough to make him sure that you are interested, which in turn wasnt enough to make him confident to make the next move and ask you out.

What I would recommend you is, if you feel confident enough, is to make the first move instead, and ask him out, that would make the process a lot faster and give you high chances of being with him.

[ribboness]

On 8/13/2024 at 10:23 AM, ribbon said:

You asked for a guys perspective and I see you didnt get any, so I made an account just to respond.

I cannot be absolutely sure about what he thinks or what he's doing, to do that I would need to know how he looks like, what his hobbies and interests are, what his friends are like, how you look like, and other variables that would change my guess on what he's looking for.

So since I dont know any of that, I will use what I know about the average 17 year old guy.

The only thing I can guarantee, is that he's not being playful, men will not talk to a woman to be her friend, they already have many other friends, if a man is talking to you, he is probably interested in you, otherwise he wouldnt even bother to send you a message, same can be said about the liking of stories, this feature is made to show interested without actually saying anything.

Now you said that you were talking to him and he kept responding, again, this shows that he is interested, but you say it didnt end up leading anywhere. That is probably because he is anxious and doesnt know how to flirt, from that I will assume that he hasnt got many girlfriends in his life, if he was a player, he would have already taken what he wanted from you. You also mention that you showed clear interest in him, but how did you do that? I know it might seen like an obvious sign to you, but you might've heard from other men that a woman's signs are the worse, no wonder there are so many memes about this, so what im getting at is that your signs were probably not clear enough to make him sure that you are interested, which in turn wasnt enough to make him confident to make the next move and ask you out.

What I would recommend you is, if you feel confident enough, is to make the first move instead, and ask him out, that would make the process a lot faster and give you high chances of being with him.

Omg thank you so much for responding. Your perspective makes a lot of sense and I can kinda get that vibe from him tbh. The only thing that throws me off is that recently he posted a pic of him w two chicks and I'm not even gonna lie they were so pretty. idk what to think of that maybe its nothing idk. I def don't have the confidence to ask him out also we havemt even known each other or talking for that long. I've also notices that he will like every other selfie/ pic of me I post on my story which is also confusing. I like all of his tho so idk. i feel like I alr made the first move by dming him that first time and being the first person to start liking his story. maybe those signs weren't clear to him but idk what else I can do without doing too much yk?  also all my friends have told me he looks like a player haha. another think I noticed is that he's always switching up his profile like every week or so. ik its weird of me to be checking that often but its always him changing his pfp from a selfie of him to nothing or switching uo what he has in his highlights or bio and stuff. idk if I'm right but its makes me feel like he's insecure at least abt his image online bc ik whenever I'm feeling insecure I wanna delete everything off my profile loll. i hope this makes sense and maybe it'll be more helpful! and thank you soooo much for making a profile just to respond to this that means so much thank you!!!

[ribbon]

6 hours ago, ribboness said:

Omg thank you so much for responding. Your perspective makes a lot of sense and I can kinda get that vibe from him tbh. The only thing that throws me off is that recently he posted a pic of him w two chicks and I'm not even gonna lie they were so pretty. idk what to think of that maybe its nothing idk. I def don't have the confidence to ask him out also we havemt even known each other or talking for that long. I've also notices that he will like every other selfie/ pic of me I post on my story which is also confusing. I like all of his tho so idk. i feel like I alr made the first move by dming him that first time and being the first person to start liking his story. maybe those signs weren't clear to him but idk what else I can do without doing too much yk?  also all my friends have told me he looks like a player haha. another think I noticed is that he's always switching up his profile like every week or so. ik its weird of me to be checking that often but its always him changing his pfp from a selfie of him to nothing or switching uo what he has in his highlights or bio and stuff. idk if I'm right but its makes me feel like he's insecure at least abt his image online bc ik whenever I'm feeling insecure I wanna delete everything off my profile loll. i hope this makes sense and maybe it'll be more helpful! and thank you soooo much for making a profile just to respond to this that means so much thank you!!!

No problem, im happy I was able to help, I also read my post again and found some minor mistakes in my grammar, so I apologize about that.

I wouldn't worry about the two chicks you said, especially since you say they are pretty, I assume they are attention seekers who revolve around men for validation, and he is allowed to do whatever he wants since he's single. I previously explained that if he likes more than a few pics/stories, then he is probably interested in you. I understand what you mean, but just so you know, girls who dm you first are not that rare anymore, usually attention seekers will send messages to others whenever they are bored or feel bad about their apprearance, but aren't actually interested in starting a relationship or even going out, so that is a weak sign for a man. Again, no he is not a player, because a player would know how to talk you into giving him what he wants, while in this situation he clearly missed an opportunity, and your friends could be jealous and try to gaslight you to make themselves feel better. I will be honest I dont have any knowledge on the constant changing on his profile, I personally never do that and I never heard of anyone else doing that either, but it does sound like he's insecure, and since you confirm that whenever you feel insecure, you also take such actions, I will have to assume that it's a common thing that I happen to miss, I've never been that invested in social cyrcles of teens, so my knowledge is limited. I'm mostly talking based on the way I was processing situations when I was a teen, as well as my friends etc, and how human psychology works.

If you want to end this quickly, you could ask him out as friends, make up a situation where you want to go on a walk but your friends are busy or something, if he is interested he will agree, and if he keeps being interested after the walk is over, he will be the one who asks you out next time and he might take romantic approach, or he's gay idk 

Feel free to let me know if you need more help with boys, and I will try my best to help out, it's honestly pretty fun to do and I love helping people.

[ribboness]

On 8/17/2024 at 7:37 AM, ribbon said:

No problem, im happy I was able to help, I also read my post again and found some minor mistakes in my grammar, so I apologize about that.

I wouldn't worry about the two chicks you said, especially since you say they are pretty, I assume they are attention seekers who revolve around men for validation, and he is allowed to do whatever he wants since he's single. I previously explained that if he likes more than a few pics/stories, then he is probably interested in you. I understand what you mean, but just so you know, girls who dm you first are not that rare anymore, usually attention seekers will send messages to others whenever they are bored or feel bad about their apprearance, but aren't actually interested in starting a relationship or even going out, so that is a weak sign for a man. Again, no he is not a player, because a player would know how to talk you into giving him what he wants, while in this situation he clearly missed an opportunity, and your friends could be jealous and try to gaslight you to make themselves feel better. I will be honest I dont have any knowledge on the constant changing on his profile, I personally never do that and I never heard of anyone else doing that either, but it does sound like he's insecure, and since you confirm that whenever you feel insecure, you also take such actions, I will have to assume that it's a common thing that I happen to miss, I've never been that invested in social cyrcles of teens, so my knowledge is limited. I'm mostly talking based on the way I was processing situations when I was a teen, as well as my friends etc, and how human psychology works.

If you want to end this quickly, you could ask him out as friends, make up a situation where you want to go on a walk but your friends are busy or something, if he is interested he will agree, and if he keeps being interested after the walk is over, he will be the one who asks you out next time and he might take romantic approach, or he's gay idk 

Feel free to let me know if you need more help with boys, and I will try my best to help out, it's honestly pretty fun to do and I love helping people.

Hey!! 

Sorry ik its been a while but thank you so much. I took your advice and you were right!!! i messaged him saying happy late bday and now were talking again!! He asked me if he would see me at club rush but I changes schools so um kinda sad I cant see him as easily. If only o hadn't ghosted him before lol. Hopefully this works out bc ii cant get him off my mind I feel crazy. hes so sweet tho and fun to talk to and im so glad u gave me the courage to talk to him again thank you!! also no worries abt any hrammer mistakes u made im sure I spelt half of this wrong haha. 

also just to rant a bit im so scared he might ask me out and it wont work bc I have the strictest parents in the world and to might have been easier if we still went to the same school but my new campus is like 40 min away and I doubt he would drive that far to see me so I am scared aby that or any getting caught, and im turning 18 in 2 months but tat doesn't matter w them loll. idl o reallyyyy hope this works out bc i am going insame. but who knows maybe we wont even get there haha. 

thank you so much anyways tho you really helped me a lot!! :))

[ribboness]

On 8/24/2024 at 11:32 PM, ribboness said:

Hey!! 

Sorry ik its been a while but thank you so much. I took your advice and you were right!!! i messaged him saying happy late bday and now were talking again!! He asked me if he would see me at club rush but I changes schools so um kinda sad I cant see him as easily. If only o hadn't ghosted him before lol. Hopefully this works out bc ii cant get him off my mind I feel crazy. hes so sweet tho and fun to talk to and im so glad u gave me the courage to talk to him again thank you!! also no worries abt any hrammer mistakes u made im sure I spelt half of this wrong haha. 

also just to rant a bit im so scared he might ask me out and it wont work bc I have the strictest parents in the world and to might have been easier if we still went to the same school but my new campus is like 40 min away and I doubt he would drive that far to see me so I am scared aby that or any getting caught, and im turning 18 in 2 months but tat doesn't matter w them loll. idl o reallyyyy hope this works out bc i am going insame. but who knows maybe we wont even get there haha. 

thank you so much anyways tho you really helped me a lot!! :))

jk he ghosted me

[Aurora]

6 hours ago, ribboness said:

jk he ghosted me

Oh no @ribboness I am truly sorry to hear that  Being ghosted is horrible, because we don't get any answers as to why . How are you doing? We're here for you if you want to talk about it 

[ribboness]

On 9/13/2024 at 4:45 AM, Aurora said:

Oh no @ribboness I am truly sorry to hear that  Being ghosted is horrible, because we don't get any answers as to why . How are you doing? We're here for you if you want to talk about it 

Thank u for checking in but im doing ok. when he ghosted me a was getting bored of talking to him esp since he made no effort to meet up after a month and a half of talking. And hes been liking my stories after ghosting me which is odd but whatev lol 

[Aurora]

5 hours ago, ribboness said:

Thank u for checking in but im doing ok. when he ghosted me a was getting bored of talking to him esp since he made no effort to meet up after a month and a half of talking. And hes been liking my stories after ghosting me which is odd but whatev lol 

It sounds like you have moved on from him. Is that fair to say? From everything you've been telling us I get the impression that he might not even know himself what he wants and I think it's wise of you to focus your energy elsewhere