Apples101 Posted June 27 Share Posted June 27 Hey everyone, I've been struggling with making friends lately, and I wanted to share how I feel. I really want to connect with people, but I get so scared and end up not talking to them, even though I genuinely want to be their friend. I’m not sure if it's the fear of being rejected or worried that they won't like me and might end up being fake friends.I also have this issue on social media. I add people I know, but I find it hard to start a conversation with them, especially if I don’t talk to them in real life. When I do get the courage to message someone, I sometimes take a while to reply because I feel anxious, and by the time I do, they often unfriend me. It's really discouraging and makes me more hesitant to try again.I want to be more social and make real connections, but I don't know how to get past this fear or how to choose the right people to approach. If anyone has advice or has been through something similar, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for listening. 1 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted June 30 Digital Mentor Share Posted June 30 On 6/27/2024 at 7:43 PM, Apples101 said: Hey everyone, I've been struggling with making friends lately, and I wanted to share how I feel. I really want to connect with people, but I get so scared and end up not talking to them, even though I genuinely want to be their friend. I’m not sure if it's the fear of being rejected or worried that they won't like me and might end up being fake friends.I also have this issue on social media. I add people I know, but I find it hard to start a conversation with them, especially if I don’t talk to them in real life. When I do get the courage to message someone, I sometimes take a while to reply because I feel anxious, and by the time I do, they often unfriend me. It's really discouraging and makes me more hesitant to try again.I want to be more social and make real connections, but I don't know how to get past this fear or how to choose the right people to approach. Heyy @Apples101, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with DTL. Thank you for sharing how you're feeling. It's really brave to open up about your struggles, and I want you to know that you're definitely not alone in this. Many people, including myself, have felt exactly what you're describing. Making friends can be really challenging, especially when fear of rejection and anxiety are involved. It's completely normal to feel scared about approaching new people or starting conversations, both in real life and on social media. That fear of being rejected or not being liked is something a lot of us experience. Social anxiety can make even small interactions feel incredibly daunting. I was wondering are there any specific situations where you feel more comfortable talking to people? Also, do you have any close friends or family members you feel comfortable around? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted June 30 Digital Mentor Share Posted June 30 On 6/27/2024 at 7:43 PM, Apples101 said: If anyone has advice or has been through something similar, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for listening. Here are some suggestions that might help you feel more at ease: (Also, know that these are slightly generic and if you like any we can try to cater them to your needs with more specific examples that are relevant to you) Start Small: Begin with small interactions. Maybe start with a simple comment or question about something you have in common, like a class, a hobby, or a shared interest. Practice Active Listening: Sometimes, listening more can help ease the pressure of having to come up with things to say. It also shows the other person that you're genuinely interested in them. Join Groups or Clubs: Engage in activities where you can meet people who share your interests. It’s often easier to connect with others when you already have something in common. Set Small Goals: Set yourself small, manageable goals, like saying hello to one new person a week or sending one message a day on social media. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. It's okay to take your time and it's okay to feel anxious. Remember that building connections takes time and effort, and it's a process. Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Sometimes, practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques like deep breathing can help manage anxiety in social situations. What do you think about these suggestions? Do any of them resonate with you or seem like something you’d be willing to try? Also, I wanted to remind you that everyone feels nervous about social interactions at times, and it’s okay to take small steps at your own pace. You're not alone in this, and there are many people who understand and are here to support you. You're doing great by reaching out here and connecting with others. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apples101 Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 On 6/30/2024 at 9:35 AM, Luie said: are there any specific situations where you feel more comfortable talking to people? Usually when the person approaches me first, but I don't want to always be approached first sometimes I want to take the first step if you know what I mean MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apples101 Posted July 2 Author Share Posted July 2 On 6/30/2024 at 9:35 AM, Luie said: do you have any close friends or family members you feel comfortable around? Yes I do MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted July 6 Digital Mentor Share Posted July 6 On 7/2/2024 at 9:40 PM, Apples101 said: Usually when the person approaches me first, but I don't want to always be approached first sometimes I want to take the first step if you know what I mean On 7/2/2024 at 9:41 PM, Apples101 said: Yes I do I completely understand what you mean about wanting to take the first step sometimes. It's great that you have close friends, that's a strong foundation and shows you’re capable of forming meaningful connections. It's also totally okay to feel more comfortable when someone else makes the first move. But it sounds like you’re ready to challenge yourself a bit and take some steps towards initiating those connections yourself. That’s really commendable and a big step in itself! Reflecting on what you said, it’s interesting how the dynamic changes when you’re the one to initiate. Sometimes, it’s about finding the right balance and building up your confidence gradually. I am wondering when you do feel comfortable taking the first step, what do you think contributes to that feeling? Is there a particular setting or context that makes it easier for you? Also, what do you enjoy doing with your close friends? Maybe there are similar activities or contexts where you could try reaching out to new people, where you feel more at ease. I do think taking these small steps in familiar settings might help make the process less intimidating. And, I do want to remind you that it’s perfectly okay to start small and build up from there. You’ve already got the ability to make friends, as shown by your close relationships, and expanding that skill is something you can definitely achieve. Does this seem like something you’d be willing to try? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apples101 Posted July 25 Author Share Posted July 25 On 7/6/2024 at 7:41 AM, Luie said: I completely understand what you mean about wanting to take the first step sometimes. It's great that you have close friends, that's a strong foundation and shows you’re capable of forming meaningful connections. It's also totally okay to feel more comfortable when someone else makes the first move. But it sounds like you’re ready to challenge yourself a bit and take some steps towards initiating those connections yourself. That’s really commendable and a big step in itself! Reflecting on what you said, it’s interesting how the dynamic changes when you’re the one to initiate. Sometimes, it’s about finding the right balance and building up your confidence gradually. I am wondering when you do feel comfortable taking the first step, what do you think contributes to that feeling? Is there a particular setting or context that makes it easier for you? Also, what do you enjoy doing with your close friends? Maybe there are similar activities or contexts where you could try reaching out to new people, where you feel more at ease. I do think taking these small steps in familiar settings might help make the process less intimidating. And, I do want to remind you that it’s perfectly okay to start small and build up from there. You’ve already got the ability to make friends, as shown by your close relationships, and expanding that skill is something you can definitely achieve. Does this seem like something you’d be willing to try? I'm sorry for replying so late but can anyone else but us see our conversations MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted July 25 Digital Mentor Share Posted July 25 8 hours ago, Apples101 said: I'm sorry for replying so late but can anyone else but us see our conversations Hi @Apples101, I'm Aurora and I am one of the other support mentors here at Ditch the Label.. @Luie won't be online until the weekend so I thought I would jump in. I hope that's OK. Thank you for checking who can see the conversation before replying. Here, on the forum, everyone can see your conversation. If you would like to speak to one of the support mentors 1-2-1, you can send us a message via confidential support. All the messages on confidential support can only be read by the support mentors and no one else. If that's something you would prefer, then you can send us a message here: https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support/ Or you can scroll to the bottom of the page and click on 'get support now' on the 'Get Confidential Support' section. I hope this has answered your question. Give me a shout if anything is unclear of if there is anything else you would like to know MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Luie Posted July 27 Digital Mentor Share Posted July 27 On 7/25/2024 at 3:06 AM, Apples101 said: I'm sorry for replying so late but can anyone else but us see our conversations Heyy @Apples101, I am back online over the weekend. @Aurora explained it perfectly well around who can view this conversation, please do let me know if you want to move it over 1-1 on confidential support. Here for you! MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apples101 Posted July 27 Author Share Posted July 27 Yes please MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Solution Luie Posted July 28 Digital Mentor Solution Share Posted July 28 20 hours ago, Apples101 said: Yes please Noted! I have sent you a Confidential Support request, we can move the conversation over MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProffesorSparkles Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 On 6/27/2024 at 7:43 PM, Apples101 said: Hey everyone, I've been struggling with making friends lately, and I wanted to share how I feel. I really want to connect with people, but I get so scared and end up not talking to them, even though I genuinely want to be their friend. I’m not sure if it's the fear of being rejected or worried that they won't like me and might end up being fake friends.I also have this issue on social media. I add people I know, but I find it hard to start a conversation with them, especially if I don’t talk to them in real life. When I do get the courage to message someone, I sometimes take a while to reply because I feel anxious, and by the time I do, they often unfriend me. It's really discouraging and makes me more hesitant to try again.I want to be more social and make real connections, but I don't know how to get past this fear or how to choose the right people to approach. If anyone has advice or has been through something similar, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for listening. Hey there, I know this was from a while ago and I saw you moved to 1-2-1, but I just wanted to say your not alone in feeling this! Lots of people including myself can have a hard time making friends and yes it can be very discouraging sometimes but ive found that if you keep trying, you can meet amazing people and make awesome friendships and itll really be worth it. so yeah I just wanted to say that, and I hope your doing well! 2 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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