Feeling uncomfortable in my own skin again

[Zaylee]

What a surprise, I'm feeling insecure again. Just as I was feeling confident as fvck, I see a pretty girl and automatically compare myself to her. She's blonde, skinny, has the clearest skin I've seen in my whole damn life. She's got a beautiful smile, stunning green eyes. Meanwhile I've got acne scars, stretch marks on my thighs, crooked teeth. I've got belly fat, and permanent bags under my eyes. Brown hair, brown eyes. I wanna try losing a bit of weight, start eating healthier, drinking more water. And the worst part of all of this is I can't tell if I have a crush on this girl or not. 

[Equivalent Ways]

Hey, so interesting! You think she is pretty huh, sometimes ppl have a friend desire, or something more but either way, it don’t need to encourage insecurities about you is she nice, do you know her? Everyone still has their challenges..

also, yes being healthy is good for the inside and outside so I def approve of that Tbh I am aiming for that too, I don’t exercise a lot.. oh and being hydrated is good too.

I think that if someone looks ‘healthy’ then that is a good thing, tbh tho most of those things you listed -I personally don’t mind-

[Zaylee]

1 hour ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Hey, so interesting! You think she is pretty huh, sometimes ppl have a friend desire, or something more but either way, it don’t need to encourage insecurities about you is she nice, do you know her? Everyone still has their challenges..

also, yes being healthy is good for the inside and outside so I def approve of that Tbh I am aiming for that too, I don’t exercise a lot.. oh and being hydrated is good too.

I think that if someone looks ‘healthy’ then that is a good thing, tbh tho most of those things you listed -I personally don’t mind-

I don't really know her, or anything abt her, but she seems really nice. I think she's straight tho

I've been drinking a ton of water everyday, but I still eat way too much junk food lol.

I try to exercise when I can, but I share a room with my sister, and I hate working out in fronts of others, so... yeah

Good luck luck on your goals tho, and thanks for the confidence boost. You seem like a very kind person

 

[Equivalent Ways]

2 hours ago, Zaylee said:

I don't really know her, or anything abt her, but she seems really nice. I think she's straight tho

I've been drinking a ton of water everyday, but I still eat way too much junk food lol.

I try to exercise when I can, but I share a room with my sister, and I hate working out in fronts of others, so... yeah

Good luck luck on your goals tho, and thanks for the confidence boost. You seem like a very kind person

heh, thanks. iTry to be authentic lol

I am also trying to feed myself more veggies, and I love whole foods. Do you live in a place where you can like, go for a walk? Or do you have a yard or smth to work out on?

Imho, all good romantic relationships start as friends

Thanks, and you too, we can do it :)

[Luie]

9 hours ago, Zaylee said:

What a surprise, I'm feeling insecure again. Just as I was feeling confident as fvck, I see a pretty girl and automatically compare myself to her. She's blonde, skinny, has the clearest skin I've seen in my whole damn life. She's got a beautiful smile, stunning green eyes. Meanwhile I've got acne scars, stretch marks on my thighs, crooked teeth. I've got belly fat, and permanent bags under my eyes. Brown hair, brown eyes. I wanna try losing a bit of weight, start eating healthier, drinking more water. And the worst part of all of this is I can't tell if I have a crush on this girl or not. 

Heyy @Zaylee, It's completely normal to feel insecure at times, especially when we see someone we perceive as "perfect." You know beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colours, and everyone has their own unique qualities that make them special. Comparing ourselves to others only causes unnecessary stress and can lead to negative self-talk. But I understand it's easier said than done. I am happy to hear that you are so keen on taking care of yourself by eating healthier and drinking more water. Just remember to do it for yourself and your health, not to fit into a certain mould or to impress anyone else. Also, remember that having physical imperfections is completely normal, and everyone has them. It's what makes us human.

As for whether you have a crush on this girl or not, tell me more about her if you'd like 

 

[TinyDinos]

16 hours ago, Zaylee said:

What a surprise, I'm feeling insecure again. Just as I was feeling confident as fvck, I see a pretty girl and automatically compare myself to her. She's blonde, skinny, has the clearest skin I've seen in my whole damn life. She's got a beautiful smile, stunning green eyes. Meanwhile I've got acne scars, stretch marks on my thighs, crooked teeth. I've got belly fat, and permanent bags under my eyes. Brown hair, brown eyes. I wanna try losing a bit of weight, start eating healthier, drinking more water. And the worst part of all of this is I can't tell if I have a crush on this girl or not. 

I feel this so deeply, my heart aches for you :(

however I want to say first and foremost, there is nothing wrong with how you’re feeling, OR with your appearance. 

Society has some weeeeeeeeeeeeeeird ideas of beauty, and I really don’t get it. Like, did you know that (despite what media is trying to tell us) people are more romantically attracted to people with asymmetrical faces rather than those with symmetry? People prefer imperfections over picture perfect appearances! (Picture perfect according to media anyways) This also applies to the “golden ratio” where that doesn’t always hold true. (I suggest watching a video I liked on this topic, it’s from the YouTube channel “Style Theory” and they have a bunch of other cool stuff too I totally recommend checking out if you’re into it).

I really believe that you are a beautiful person, whether Anonymous Blonde Girl thinks so or not. And I’m an older sibling, so pardon this last tidbit, but I truly believe that if someone is only willing to date you based off of appearances, they shouldn’t be dating. Similar to how @Equivalent Ways said, the strongest relationships start with friendship. If they can’t love you based on personality (whether you look like a hobo or a supermodel, it doesn’t make a difference) they don’t deserve you and the wonderful person you are, and you deserve better. 

Now, if you’re telling me, “Dino, I want to change my appearance for me, and I want to look better for myself, not for pleasing others.” Then I say go for it. :) 

Our appearances are a form of expression, and you want to look a certain kind of way because it makes you feel good, then by all means, pursue that. Coming from a short brown girl with the acne scars, stretch marks, belly fat and brown hair, this is totally doable. I want to get better health-wise too so I can be more fit and there’s nothing wrong with that. I dyed my hair because I wanted it to reflect me. It’s 100% doable 
I DO want to ask though, what are some things that you like about yourself? This can be physical or even things about your personality that you like. :)

Also, I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, so I wanted to also say hey and it’s nice to meet you! Our community is full of many sweet and caring people who genuinely care about each other and want to help on any way they can, as well as the Digital Mentors who give amazing advice as well as help you set realistic and achievable goals to get through anything you’re going through all while reminding you that you’ve got people in your corner and that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel

[Luie]

On 5/7/2023 at 6:49 PM, TinyDinos said:

I feel this so deeply, my heart aches for you :(

however I want to say first and foremost, there is nothing wrong with how you’re feeling, OR with your appearance. 

Society has some weeeeeeeeeeeeeeird ideas of beauty, and I really don’t get it. Like, did you know that (despite what media is trying to tell us) people are more romantically attracted to people with asymmetrical faces rather than those with symmetry? People prefer imperfections over picture perfect appearances! (Picture perfect according to media anyways) This also applies to the “golden ratio” where that doesn’t always hold true. (I suggest watching a video I liked on this topic, it’s from the YouTube channel “Style Theory” and they have a bunch of other cool stuff too I totally recommend checking out if you’re into it).

I really believe that you are a beautiful person, whether Anonymous Blonde Girl thinks so or not. And I’m an older sibling, so pardon this last tidbit, but I truly believe that if someone is only willing to date you based off of appearances, they shouldn’t be dating. Similar to how @Equivalent Ways said, the strongest relationships start with friendship. If they can’t love you based on personality (whether you look like a hobo or a supermodel, it doesn’t make a difference) they don’t deserve you and the wonderful person you are, and you deserve better. 

Now, if you’re telling me, “Dino, I want to change my appearance for me, and I want to look better for myself, not for pleasing others.” Then I say go for it. :) 

Our appearances are a form of expression, and you want to look a certain kind of way because it makes you feel good, then by all means, pursue that. Coming from a short brown girl with the acne scars, stretch marks, belly fat and brown hair, this is totally doable. I want to get better health-wise too so I can be more fit and there’s nothing wrong with that. I dyed my hair because I wanted it to reflect me. It’s 100% doable 
I DO want to ask though, what are some things that you like about yourself? This can be physical or even things about your personality that you like. :)

Also, I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, so I wanted to also say hey and it’s nice to meet you! Our community is full of many sweet and caring people who genuinely care about each other and want to help on any way they can, as well as the Digital Mentors who give amazing advice as well as help you set realistic and achievable goals to get through anything you’re going through all while reminding you that you’ve got people in your corner and that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel