Idk what to do

[Oneseatbowseat]

So last year, I joined my uni’s rowing team and made a friend.   After a few months I found out from a girl on the team that he had A crush on me. I’m not sure if I feel the same way about him though. When I heard about this I freaked out and slowly stopped talking to him over Christmas break, and eventually deleted his snap from mine. I  know I was awful to him but I want to be his friend again because we got along so well. Should I add him back and try again because I’m scared that he hates me for it. 

[-Leila-]

This sounds tricky I’m going to tag the digital mentors @Luie @Monsoon

[Luie]

21 hours ago, Oneseatbowseat said:

So last year, I joined my uni’s rowing team and made a friend.   After a few months I found out from a girl on the team that he had A crush on me. I’m not sure if I feel the same way about him though. When I heard about this I freaked out and slowly stopped talking to him over Christmas break, and eventually deleted his snap from mine. I  know I was awful to him but I want to be his friend again because we got along so well. Should I add him back and try again because I’m scared that he hates me for it. 

Heyy @Oneseatbowseat, I am Luie, one of the support mentors with Ditch the Label. I see that you're new to our platform and I wanted to say a massive welcome! Super awesome having you join our community. You can start conversations like this or even join other topics on the forums option. We also offer one to one support if you'd prefer that, if you click on 'Confidential Support' in the top bar next to blogs, you can send a request and one of the support mentors will get back to you. 

Before getting into whether you should or should not add him back, I'd like to know more about what has changed since removing him that you want to be friends again? Is it because you're feeling awful about removing him earlier or is it that now you're interested and want to pursue this connection? Feel feel to share as much as you feel comfortable doing. 

[Luie]

8 minutes ago, _Leila_ said:

This sounds tricky I’m going to tag the digital mentors @Luie @Monsoon

Thanks for the heads up @_Leila_!

[Oneseatbowseat]

Thanks for the welcome Luie!

I have to say it’s mostly about feeling terrible for deleting him off my snap. When practices started up again, I thought he would hate me and not want to talk to me anymore but he’s still pretty nice to me. He was really nice and one of the first friends I made on the team because we both had a class together too. I also ended up taking him off of snap because he started get more flirty with me, and that made me uncomfortable.  I thought I had a crush on him too at one point because I kept thinking about him too but then I realized that I was just happy that a guy actually had a crush on me.  

[Luie]

21 hours ago, Oneseatbowseat said:

Thanks for the welcome Luie!

I have to say it’s mostly about feeling terrible for deleting him off my snap. When practices started up again, I thought he would hate me and not want to talk to me anymore but he’s still pretty nice to me. He was really nice and one of the first friends I made on the team because we both had a class together too. I also ended up taking him off of snap because he started get more flirty with me, and that made me uncomfortable.  I thought I had a crush on him too at one point because I kept thinking about him too but then I realized that I was just happy that a guy actually had a crush on me.  

I am glad to hear that he was emotionally mature about the whole you removing him from snap and not acting up, that does say a lot about someone's character. And I am happy to see how you have standards for yourself and had a strict boundary about what makes you feel comfortable and what doesn't, at the time you felt he was more flirty and you didn't like it, but now that you have given it time, you're wanting to explore this connection as a friend, did I get that right?

Something I would like to say though is that, you deleting him from snapchat at the time doesn't make you a bad person, you were just not comfortable with that dynamic and that's okay to do so, if you are choosing to move forward with adding him again, do ask yourself if it's for the right reasons of connection and friendship, not because you feel bad, sometimes feeling pity towards someone does more harm than good. How does this sound to you?

[Oneseatbowseat]

It sounds good for me. Also yes you did get it right, I think the time spent away from him has helped me clear my head about the whole situation and has helped me realize what I want. I feel like adding him now will be because I want to be friends again with him, and not because I feel pity towards him

[Luie]

12 hours ago, Oneseatbowseat said:

It sounds good for me. Also yes you did get it right, I think the time spent away from him has helped me clear my head about the whole situation and has helped me realize what I want. I feel like adding him now will be because I want to be friends again with him, and not because I feel pity towards him

Then definitely go ahead with it @Oneseatbowseat, and I hope this blooms into a connection you are hoping! Wishing you the very best.