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How can I come out?


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This is kind of a long story so kick back and relax\

 

When I was in grade 7 I told my mom I was bisexual and that I liked boys and girls. She told me I was to young to know and I hid those thoughts away in my mind until the start of high school. I've gone so back and forth on this and I think it is because my mom told me I was not ready. I'm at a point right now where I identify personally as bi but I'm afraid of being turned down again if I tell my friends. I'm also afraid of everything being to different if I tell my friends everyone will treat me differently. I guess my main question is how do I come out out to my friends and avoid being told I don't know myself and struggling with my slef identity all over again?

 

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Hey Josh,

 

Welcome to Ditch the Label! ?

 

Great to read your post and thank you for your honesty.

 

I have no doubt that your mom had your best interests at heart when she said you were too young to know. What's interesting though is parents would never tell their child they were too young to know they were heterosexual yet it happens all the time when it comes to being gay, lesbian or bisexual.

 

Hearing that you don't know because you are too young would have been very confusing and maybe even a bit painful. It also makes perfect sense why your feeling scared it might happen again and fear that it will change things with your friends. When were you thinking of telling your friends and are any of them out of the closet?

 

The first thing I need you to know is you have trust yourself. No one else on this whole planet can tell you what your sexuality is but you and you need to trust that you do know.

The other big thing is whatever their reactions are don't doubt yourself. That's what the fear is actually about, that if they don't believe you then there is a chance you won't believe it again like with your mom.

 

We cannot control other people including their reactions. Which means I can't tell you the perfect way to tell them which guarantees they don't question it or doubt you. What I hear loud and clear from your post is that you are bisexual and are ready to tell your friends. Being bisexual does not depend on their approval but your acceptance and trust that you know who you are.

 

Let me know what you think.

 

In the meantime we have an awesome article with tips on coming out which I've posted below, happy to talk through any or all of it in more detail just holla.

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-11-tips-for-coming-out-as-lesbian-gay-or-bi/

 

Sending positivity ??

 

-peach311

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So I decided to start off by telling my closest friend first so that when I tell my other friends I have some support for someone who knows, and because I know he is 100% accepting of everyone and someone I would trust with my life. Naturally when I told him he has some questions until he shocked me by telling me he is bi as well. That completely came out of left field but it was great and we are even closer as friends now. While it may have been hard to do I am so glad I was able to do it and share it with someone really close to me.

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Wow, ?'? Josh that is awesome news and just goes to show we never know what will happen!

 

Massive high five for being brave and just doing it and now you have support from someone who really gets it.

 

Keep going ?'???

 

-peach311

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  • 4 weeks later...

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