Speedking47 Posted October 19, 2019 Share Posted October 19, 2019 Hi I’m new here but I’m having a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality I’ve been called gay ever since third grade and at the time I wasn’t but by 6th grade I liked this boy I came out to my mom a few months later and at the time I was twelve and my brother had found my journal and even though I knew my mom was religiously homophobic I thought she would take it easy but the first thing she said is your going to hell god does not except homosexuality etc in the end she asked me if I still wanted to be gay I said no, I had to lock my feelings away And for a long time I fought that I was gay and I would always be called by my mom fagot when she finally saw that I had *given it up* she stopped call me that directly but when she saw something she didn’t like that I did she said “so your gay, your a fag now you want to suck dick�she went off on how I would go to hell because of that again and now I realize I’m gay and those words keep coming back and the scarcity of more words like that being told to me and at school I don’t want people making fun of me I’m thing about submerging my sexuality for a couple more years, and even though I’ve come out to my brother and a very trusted friend I feel like I have to conform to my mother’s and society’s view because it’s so scary MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted October 21, 2019 Share Posted October 21, 2019 Hello @Speedking47 Welcome to our support community. I am so sorry your Mom had such a bad reaction to your coming out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, and I can hear how painful it must have been for you to have to be ashamed who you are and something you cannot change. You should not have to hide who you are but your safety has to be the most important thing to consider. Do you feel like you can be your true self in front of your trusted friend? This may be a nice place for you to feel like you are in a safe space. Your identity is normal and valid and you cannot change your sexuality it is who you are. We're here for you. Remi MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedking47 Posted October 21, 2019 Author Share Posted October 21, 2019 Thank you and yeah and not really because I don’t want others to judge me because in grade school I’ve had a bad experience with that they would call me fagot and stuff like that it was hurt full because my mom wouldn’t stop and know that I’m in high school I think that their will be more of that. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted October 22, 2019 Share Posted October 22, 2019 Hey @Speedking47 People can be prejudice but that does not mean that you should change, I understand how scary it must be to feel like you are going to be attacked for who you are, especially when we both know you are unable to change your sexuality. You don't have to talk to anyone or be out to anyone you don't want to before you are ready. Even if you just have one person to talk to that can help. You can always come and chat to me here. Remi MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedking47 Posted October 22, 2019 Author Share Posted October 22, 2019 Thank you i really didn’t had a hard time excepting my self and even though my best friend excepted me on the spot at home I had this not so excepting atmosphere and this had helped me move on a little more and did help me except my self and again thank you so much I think I can move on now and be my self ���🌈 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remi Posted October 23, 2019 Share Posted October 23, 2019 So glad to hear it! MultiQuote Quote This Digital Mentor Account is no longer active. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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