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My dad praises me and loves me a lot, but I don't think he would if I came out.


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My dad tells me how much he loves me, and he keeps talking to me about boys. (I'm female) He tells me about how a man should treat me, and that he'd protect me from bad boyfriends, and I think he's genuinely a great person, but he has his beliefs. Our family is Christian, and so am I and I think I've decided not to have to choose between my faith and myself. My siblings and mom are supportive of the lgbt community, but my dad makes mean jokes about them, and sighs when he hears about them in the news or tv, and he didn't look too happy when I told him that one of my friends was bisexual. I don't want anything to change between us if I have a girlfriend, because I love him. I know that people are unpredictable, and no one can tell me how he'll react, but maybe help me with any advice or maybe you can relate! Thanks! :)

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Hey Nailpolishstains,

 

We have a few guides which I think could really help you I will put them at the bottom so feel free to have a read as and when you like. ??

 

A few things jumped out at me straight away. Firstly, I'm so happy to hear you say that you have decided not to choose between your faith and sexuality because I personally think you don't have to. There are a lot of fantastic role models in the LGBT community that have a strong faith in their lives and carry a beautiful message of inclusion. ??

 

I understand that deep fear of not wanting anything to change and hear how much you value his support and love in your life. Your spot on that no can predict his reaction so it really could be anything but it does sound like you have a strong relationship which is a great starting place. What I want you to know is that you deserve to live a full and happy life and that if your Dad was asked the question of what you deserve it would be a very similar answer.

 

Any life where you are in hiding from some part of yourself will always block what is your birth right; love, happiness and self-acceptance. ?

When you are ready I would start with either your siblings or your mum and get support going into telling your dad. We are always here for you no matter what.

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/top-11-tips-for-coming-out-as-lesbian-gay-or-bi/

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/coming-out-homophobic-parents/

 

Sending positivity ?'??

-peach311

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Thank you peach311. I feel that when I do tell my dad, he will come around because he loves me and I'm one of the lucky ones with a mostly accepting family. I'll really think it through and hear other's stories. His approval shouldn't determine how I live my life, but it would be nice to invite him into it. :) I just need to be hopeful, and not beat myself up for a bad reaction. Thank you! I have a new perspective about it.

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Hey nailpolishstains,

 

Exactly, his reaction will be everything to do with him and actually nothing to do with you, so even though it's hard really try not to take it personally. ?

 

Remember any time anyone has the courage to come out to their family that it is 100% a success, no exception ever!

 

If you ever need a second opinion or advice I am here and we can figure whatever it is out together. ??

 

Sending positivity and support. ??

 

-peach311

 

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