I need help...

[-Lou-]

 

So basically in school, I started being really obsessed with this one guy. I really do not know why, but I think he's suspicious of me and now I think he hates me (I really don't know why I think that he never even said or done anything to me.) We used to be chill, but now my whole view of him has changed. I just want to be chill with him again. Now he probably thinks I'm weird or crazy because he keeps looking at me (I know he doesn't like me like that, I think he has a girlfriend.) I want this to stop and I want this kind of situation to never happen again with anyone.

But I have a plan. I am going to explain this mess to him either in person or on a note. I just hope he doesn't stop being friends with me or ghost me because it'll make my depression and this situation even worse than it already is.

 

[Blondie]

6 minutes ago, L o u said:

So basically in school, I started being really obsessed with this one guy. I really do not know why, but I think he's suspicious of me and now I think he hates me (I really don't know why I think that he never even said or done anything to me.) We used to be chill, but now my whole view of him has changed. I just want to be chill with him again. Now he probably thinks I'm weird or crazy because he keeps looking at me (I know he doesn't like me like that, I think he has a girlfriend.) I want this to stop and I want this kind of situation to never happen again with anyone.

But I have a plan. I am going to explain this mess to him either in person or on a note. I just hope he doesn't stop being friends with me or ghost me because it'll make my depression and this situation even worse than it already is.

Hey @L o u I just wnated to jump in and say we will have a mentor @Lennie back on community tomorrow. I didn't want you to think your message was missed. 

[-Lou-]

Just now, Blondie said:

Hey @L o u I just wnated to jump in and say we will have a mentor @Lennie back on community tomorrow. I didn't want you to think your message was missed. 

Ok, thank you so much!

[Lennie]

17 hours ago, L o u said:

So basically in school, I started being really obsessed with this one guy. I really do not know why, but I think he's suspicious of me and now I think he hates me (I really don't know why I think that he never even said or done anything to me.) We used to be chill, but now my whole view of him has changed. I just want to be chill with him again. Now he probably thinks I'm weird or crazy because he keeps looking at me (I know he doesn't like me like that, I think he has a girlfriend.) I want this to stop and I want this kind of situation to never happen again with anyone.

But I have a plan. I am going to explain this mess to him either in person or on a note. I just hope he doesn't stop being friends with me or ghost me because it'll make my depression and this situation even worse than it already is.

Hi @L o u - thanks so much for sharing this situation with us. It sounds like it's been causing you some stress.

I think your plan to communicate with this person and get a better idea of their perspective could be helpful next step. However, before we go any further, I was wondering if you would prefer to talk about this over on Confidential Support (https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support) where we can discuss things in a 1-2-1 environment? If so, please follow the link and we can continue things there.

Of course, if you would prefer to continue the conversation here on the forum, that's fine too. Please let me know which you'd prefer and then we can continue 

[-Lou-]

53 minutes ago, Lennie said:

Hi @L o u - thanks so much for sharing this situation with us. It sounds like it's been causing you some stress.

I think your plan to communicate with this person and get a better idea of their perspective could be helpful next step. However, before we go any further, I was wondering if you would prefer to talk about this over on Confidential Support (https://forums.ditchthelabel.org/support) where we can discuss things in a 1-2-1 environment? If so, please follow the link and we can continue things there.

Of course, if you would prefer to continue the conversation here on the forum, that's fine too. Please let me know which you'd prefer and then we can continue 

I'd actually prefer if we stay here

Edited September 9 by L o u

[-Lou-]

Also, during this time:11:50-12:30 EST or (4:50-5:30 British time), I'll have more time to talk because I have one lunch and I'll have 40 minutes of free time.

[-Lou-]

So the note I'm going to give to him says this: 

I am very sorry. So, with my past traumatic experience with a guy, I now look at guys completely differently. And yes I was really obsessed with you (not stalker level type tho), but I promise I'll let my therapist know. I hope you don't end our friendship, you were the best!! But do me a favor: talk to me after you read this note either in person or by my email [email here]. Just tell me your thoughts about this, I hope we can stay friends. I feel like telling you all this can actually help, so thanks for reading this! Sincerely, [my actual name lol]

[Lennie]

3 hours ago, -Lou- said:

So the note I'm going to give to him says this: 

I am very sorry. So, with my past traumatic experience with a guy, I now look at guys completely differently. And yes I was really obsessed with you (not stalker level type tho), but I promise I'll let my therapist know. I hope you don't end our friendship, you were the best!! But do me a favor: talk to me after you read this note either in person or by my email [email here]. Just tell me your thoughts about this, I hope we can stay friends. I feel like telling you all this can actually help, so thanks for reading this! Sincerely, [my actual name lol]

Hi @-Lou- - I think a note is a good idea if you feel nervous or uncomfortable to say this in person. However,  I don't know all the background details so it's difficult for me to comment on the specifics, but I think it's good that you are sharing how you feel. Hopefully this person will get a better understanding of your perspective and get in touch after reading this.

Can I ask, what is the outcome you would like to see come from this? You mentioned suspecting they may have a girlfriend already, but it sounds like you  had a friendship with this person previously. So is the aim to fix/maintain your existing friendship?

[Lennie]

4 hours ago, -Lou- said:

I'd actually prefer if we stay here

Sure, no problem.

[-Lou-]

1 hour ago, Lennie said:

Hi @-Lou- - I think a note is a good idea if you feel nervous or uncomfortable to say this in person. However,  I don't know all the background details so it's difficult for me to comment on the specifics, but I think it's good that you are sharing how you feel. Hopefully this person will get a better understanding of your perspective and get in touch after reading this.

Can I ask, what is the outcome you would like to see come from this? You mentioned suspecting they may have a girlfriend already, but it sounds like you  had a friendship with this person previously. So is the aim to fix/maintain your existing friendship?

I would want for him to stay friends with me. Also my friend told me he has a girlfriend last year. I hope to fix things with him and to not have him ghost me, but I know he's a cool person and can literally be friends with anyone

[-Lou-]

I currently have 6 minutes of school left, everyone else is doing a scale test right now and I just got done. When it comes to the end where we all pack up, I will do my best to give him the note. I'll let you know how it goes.

Edited September 9 by -Lou-

[-Lou-]

2 hours ago, Lennie said:

Sure, no problem.

Hey sso I gave him the note after he packed up. It didn't go as bad as I thought it would, but idk if he'll respond..

[Aurora]

14 hours ago, -Lou- said:

Hey sso I gave him the note after he packed up. It didn't go as bad as I thought it would, but idk if he'll respond..

That's great that it went better than you thought it might. I really hope you hear back from him. We're here for you if you want to talk about it some more 

[Lennie]

15 hours ago, -Lou- said:

Hey sso I gave him the note after he packed up. It didn't go as bad as I thought it would, but idk if he'll respond..

Hi @-Lou-, thanks for updating us. I hope you get a response soon.

As @Aurora mentioned, you can get in touch any time if you would like to talk about it further