My mum asked me if I’m depressed

[Mrannonymous]

So I’m 20, I feel too old to be questioning this. But my friends went off to uni last year and I am struggling for close mates now as they have all gone. I’ve given up drinking and find I struggle for motivation to do much else other than go to work and college which I love doing. I see my mates every couple of months when they come home from uni but things don’t feel right (I hate to say it but they bore me now and I feel like I don’t belong with them).

what I’m asking about though is the other day I met up with my mates and I came home fairly early as I wasn’t enjoying being with them at all, and my mum straight up asked me “are you depressed�. I didn’t know what to say because I genuinely don’t know, but it’s got me thinking about it now and I’m trying to find ways I can be happier.

im worried I’m going around giving the impression go people that I’m depressed!

Any advice

[Blondie]

Hi Mr Anonymous,

 

Firstly, you are never too old for ask for advice! We’re all here to help each other out and it’s wicked you’ve found community and us to talk to.

 

You are not alone, this is a really hard time in life for a lot of people. It’s such a period of transition and it can be scary to feel as though you are drifting apart from people you used to be so close to. You are all still changing and having so many new experiences, you may even find that although you have drifted apart a bit you may come back together again later down the line. I found I had a really similar feeling when my friends from home all started coming back from uni - we had all just changed a lot and I found we didn’t have as much in common as we used to, it was sad but I ended up meeting a tribe who were all a lot more like me!

 

Have you made many friends at college? It’s a big positive that you you enjoy going to college and work - don’t be too hard on yourself for not having much motivation for doing a lot else as that is already a lot! You could always try and see if anyone is free to hang out with you as they may be more on your level as you are both studying the same thing?

 

It’s a really cool thing that your mum feels comfortable talking about mental health with you. And really you are the only person to know how you are feeling. I would recommend talking to someone at college if you are feeling low - having a trained mentor to talk to face to face can be really helpful.

 

As for looking at ways to make you happier...I like that. Let’s think - I find starting a new hobby is an awesome way to get happy - something that you can get better at and see your progress, it could also be a nice way to meet new people.

 

And finally don’t worry about giving off an impression that you are depressed. A lot more people than we know are going through something or another. 1 in 4 of us will experience mental health problems throughout our lives and there is no shame in that, so you are not alone!

 

Have a read of these articles and let us know if any of them help!

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/7-tips-combating-loneliness/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/5-ways-to-make-friends/

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/10-reasons-never-ashamed-mental-illness/