Messing With My Parents

[welches_242]

Let's just say I don't think my parents are the biggest supporters of LGBTQIA+ so I like to do and say stuff to see if they notice. My parents get really absorbed in their phones sometimes and the other day I took the opportunity to describe everything I'm planning to do for pride month. They just nodded and obviously did not absorb anything I said. I also go to my dad's h0m0phobic church where I usually have 45 mins after the service to just sit and watch videos. I have a habit of watching LGBTQIA+ related videos every time. Still haven't been caught. I also do the same thing when I'm sitting beside my parents. Also still haven't been caught. I also spell out that I'm aromantic straight to them and they just say "oh, that's a bit weird." However, I would never say it straight to their face.

[Aurora]

11 hours ago, welches_242 said:

Let's just say I don't think my parents are the biggest supporters of LGBTQIA+ so I like to do and say stuff to see if they notice. My parents get really absorbed in their phones sometimes and the other day I took the opportunity to describe everything I'm planning to do for pride month. They just nodded and obviously did not absorb anything I said. I also go to my dad's h0m0phobic church where I usually have 45 mins after the service to just sit and watch videos. I have a habit of watching LGBTQIA+ related videos every time. Still haven't been caught. I also do the same thing when I'm sitting beside my parents. Also still haven't been caught. I also spell out that I'm aromantic straight to them and they just say "oh, that's a bit weird." However, I would never say it straight to their face.

Hi there, that's a really interesting approach. Has this given you a better idea of how your parents would react if you came out to them? Do you mind me asking, if that is something you would like to do? Please know, that there is no pressure at all and it's completely up to you, who you want to tell and when. I just get the sense that you would like everything to be out in the open. Is that right or did I get that wrong? 

[welches_242]

1 hour ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, that's a really interesting approach. Has this given you a better idea of how your parents would react if you came out to them? Do you mind me asking, if that is something you would like to do? Please know, that there is no pressure at all and it's completely up to you, who you want to tell and when. I just get the sense that you would like everything to be out in the open. Is that right or did I get that wrong? 

They'd excuse it as "You're to young to know that" and then compare it to their experience. No questions there. My friends at school know and that's about it. I wish I could tell them, but I know it's not going to go well.

[Aurora]

22 hours ago, welches_242 said:

They'd excuse it as "You're to young to know that" and then compare it to their experience. No questions there. My friends at school know and that's about it. I wish I could tell them, but I know it's not going to go well.

I'm sorry to hear that you know it's not going to go well. I can imagine that must be frustrating. You seem very certain about the response you would get from them. Do you mind me asking, how you know what they will say? Have you already spoken to them about something related? 

[welches_242]

10 hours ago, Aurora said:

I'm sorry to hear that you know it's not going to go well. I can imagine that must be frustrating. You seem very certain about the response you would get from them. Do you mind me asking, how you know what they will say? Have you already spoken to them about something related? 

Honestly, I can't be 100% sure of what they'll say, but how they respond to things I bring up makes it much more likely they'll respond negatively. 

A) I hear them talking about LGBTQ+ topics a lot (Mainly because I'm bringing up different people and characters) and it's not always the most positive way 

B) I have practically spelt it out for them. I explain every detail of my lack of a romantic experience to them and they just say "I only had about 3 crushes by the time I was your age. You'll find someone." When I explain other things like my lack of understanding of feeling attraction or my struggle to tell the difference between thinking I like someone platonically or romantically they just say "Oh, that's weird." On top of that, I'm an avid reader and I'll bring up LGBTQ+ characters or aroace characters and they just say "there's way too much LGBTQ+ representation in the media" etc. 

There's also been a couple more incidents but I don't want to get too specific.

[Aurora]

On 5/31/2023 at 9:54 PM, welches_242 said:

Honestly, I can't be 100% sure of what they'll say, but how they respond to things I bring up makes it much more likely they'll respond negatively. 

A) I hear them talking about LGBTQ+ topics a lot (Mainly because I'm bringing up different people and characters) and it's not always the most positive way 

B) I have practically spelt it out for them. I explain every detail of my lack of a romantic experience to them and they just say "I only had about 3 crushes by the time I was your age. You'll find someone." When I explain other things like my lack of understanding of feeling attraction or my struggle to tell the difference between thinking I like someone platonically or romantically they just say "Oh, that's weird." On top of that, I'm an avid reader and I'll bring up LGBTQ+ characters or aroace characters and they just say "there's way too much LGBTQ+ representation in the media" etc. 

There's also been a couple more incidents but I don't want to get too specific.

Of course, I totally understand. Please don't feel you ever have to share something if you don't want to. This is a safe space. 

I would imagine that you have a good grasp of how your parents might react if you did decide to come out to them. It's totally up to you and there is no pressure at all for you to come out to your parents if you don't want to or you don't think it's going to go well. One thing that might be helpful for you to think about when you are making this decision, is that your parents love you very much and I would imagine that they want you to be happy. And the strong love that parents have for their children can often transform their views. It might not happen straight away but it might happen over time. What do you think?

[welches_242]

10 hours ago, Aurora said:

Of course, I totally understand. Please don't feel you ever have to share something if you don't want to. This is a safe space. 

I would imagine that you have a good grasp of how your parents might react if you did decide to come out to them. It's totally up to you and there is no pressure at all for you to come out to your parents if you don't want to or you don't think it's going to go well. One thing that might be helpful for you to think about when you are making this decision, is that your parents love you very much and I would imagine that they want you to be happy. And the strong love that parents have for their children can often transform their views. It might not happen straight away but it might happen over time. What do you think?

I agree with that. However, I just don't have the confidence for that for now, lol.

[Aurora]

On 6/2/2023 at 10:02 PM, welches_242 said:

I agree with that. However, I just don't have the confidence for that for now, lol.

No problem. I would imagine that the time will come when you feel ready. There is no pressure at all - this is your journey and it's up to you when and if you want to tell people. We're here for you if you need us.