Panic attacks

[_melanie_]

2 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, thanks for sharing what it feels like for you. You're always really good at describing the different emotions and feelings you're experiencing and the impact it has on you. I can see that you have already talked to @_melanie_ about it. Would you like to talk about it a bit more or are you good for now? 

Yea I would- they keep happening even when I’m out in public- any word that someone says to me no matter what it is I just break down and hyperventilate.

[_melanie_]

3 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, I noticed that you are fairly new here so I just wanted to say hello . It's lovely to have you here. I'm Aurora and I am one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I can see that you have already spoken to @Equivalent Ways about what's been going on for you but I just wanted to check if you wanted any additional support around the panic attacks you've been experiencing? We're here for you if you need us. 

Nice to meet you btw- I love your name!!!<3

[Equivalent Ways]

6 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, thanks for sharing what it feels like for you. You're always really good at describing the different emotions and feelings you're experiencing and the impact it has on you. I can see that you have already talked to @_melanie_ about it. Would you like to talk about it a bit more or are you good for now? 

Ah thank you!! That is something I have really put effort into because I actually have a really hard time doing it :) I kinda would like to talk about it more.. I think sometimes I can have a lot of thoughts on this stuff

[_melanie_]

5 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Ah thank you!! That is something I have really put effort into because I actually have a really hard time doing it :) I kinda would like to talk about it more.. I think sometimes I can have a lot of thoughts on this stuff

I’m here if you ever want to talk- I have some good advice- even tho some of it is kinda cringe but yea I can sure try to make you smile<3

[Aurora]

21 hours ago, _melanie_ said:

Nice to meet you btw- I love your name!!!<3

Thanks very much . It's lovely to meet you, too

[Aurora]

21 hours ago, _melanie_ said:

Yea I would- they keep happening even when I’m out in public- any word that someone says to me no matter what it is I just break down and hyperventilate.

That sounds really stressful. I'm sorry to hear that this keeps happening. I have sent you a message via confidential support so we can talk about it more there. You can access the message by clicking on the confidential support tab at the top of the page. I hope that's OK. I thought it'll be easier for us to talk about it there so it doesn't get confusing with all the other answers on this thread. 

[Tristian I Bel]

so this is very random but I have a major history of panic attacks even before I even knew what they meant, and since this topic is about them, I kinda want to talk about mine. tbh mine started between 5-7 years old, and I remember it very distinctly because I was doing my bed, and I have (or had two sisters back then, I have a brother now) and even at a young age my siblings ignored me (I'm the oldest of all of them) and I really hated being ignored because yk it makes you feel like your existence doesn't matter and nobody cares what you say and after I tried to get them to talk to me after so many times all of those thoughts of self-hate and insecurity like "nobody cares for me" and " I'm not important"  threw at me in that moment and before I knew it I was gasping for air and my family didn't even notice but I guess I got over it and I had a meltdown. panic attacks were always so random. Sometimes they were all about my school life, sometimes they were all about my home life, and I never had a childhood, which brings me to my point. I'll submit another comment because this is already a lot to read 

[Tristian I Bel]

I've always been afraid of time. I've been afraid of growing up and growing old and never having time to have a life and make up for my young age. that fear has especially gotten worse now that I'm 15 and soon everything is gonna come at me at once. I'm gonna start driving, be a legal adult in 3 years, graduate and go to college soon, and have a life on my own as an individual adult and start paying bills and depending on myself, and it's scary for me, it's scary for anyone getting close to that age or IS a legal adult now. Time has always been the fastest way to get me in a panic attack, nothing gets me hyperventilating like time does, I want to know how I can change that. I want to accept time because I know I have to and I want to be okay with it, not completely but enough that I'm not losing oxygen and vibrating like an earthquake everyday.

[_melanie_]

1 hour ago, Tristian I Bel said:

I've always been afraid of time. I've been afraid of growing up and growing old and never having time to have a life and make up for my young age. that fear has especially gotten worse now that I'm 15 and soon everything is gonna come at me at once. I'm gonna start driving, be a legal adult in 3 years, graduate and go to college soon, and have a life on my own as an individual adult and start paying bills and depending on myself, and it's scary for me, it's scary for anyone getting close to that age or IS a legal adult now. Time has always been the fastest way to get me in a panic attack, nothing gets me hyperventilating like time does, I want to know how I can change that. I want to accept time because I know I have to and I want to be okay with it, not completely but enough that I'm not losing oxygen and vibrating like an earthquake everyday.

That’s a really young age- kinda scary to me. Yea time has been a weird thing for me too, but how I keep it under control is saying what I can do and have to do today and not think about tomorrow until the time comes. I learned it from my mother and it has helped me a lot since the beginning. I used to always wonder how I’m going to pay the bills since the price of things is so high, but trust me it’s not worth it. When the time comes to think about it, don’t think about buying a house first, think of an apartment. A nice one, one that you can use to help just start easy on life. I’m 15 as well, and I’m kinda on the same boat as you! We can do it together!!!! (Cringe I know- lol) I’m always here if you wanna talk to me!<3

[Aurora]

15 hours ago, Tristian I Bel said:

I've always been afraid of time. I've been afraid of growing up and growing old and never having time to have a life and make up for my young age. that fear has especially gotten worse now that I'm 15 and soon everything is gonna come at me at once. I'm gonna start driving, be a legal adult in 3 years, graduate and go to college soon, and have a life on my own as an individual adult and start paying bills and depending on myself, and it's scary for me, it's scary for anyone getting close to that age or IS a legal adult now. Time has always been the fastest way to get me in a panic attack, nothing gets me hyperventilating like time does, I want to know how I can change that. I want to accept time because I know I have to and I want to be okay with it, not completely but enough that I'm not losing oxygen and vibrating like an earthquake everyday.

Hi there @Tristian I Bel, thank you for sharing what's been going on for you. It sounds like you were very young when you had your first panic attack and it's interesting that you can remember all the details! Do you mind me asking, have you ever talked to someone about your panic attacks and have you had any support with this? 

You mentioned about always being afraid of time. I can really relate to this. Personally, I find it scary how quickly time passes and I always feel like I'm running out of time. One of the things that's really helped me is to try and be more mindful. I would imagine you're probably heard about mindfulness? Is this something that you've looked into and tried out yourself. If not, maybe you can have a look at this guide https://www.ditchthelabel.org/basics-of-mindfulness/ and see whether this is something you might want to try. What do you think? 

I can see that @_melanie_ has given some great advice, too. That is something I do as well. I usually try and tell myself "There is nothing I can do about this now. If this does happen in the future I will deal with it then". This usually helps me to stay more focused on what's going on right now, rather than to worry about the future. 

[Tristian I Bel]

On 6/7/2023 at 2:36 PM, _melanie_ said:

That’s a really young age- kinda scary to me. Yea time has been a weird thing for me too, but how I keep it under control is saying what I can do and have to do today and not think about tomorrow until the time comes. I learned it from my mother and it has helped me a lot since the beginning. I used to always wonder how I’m going to pay the bills since the price of things is so high, but trust me it’s not worth it. When the time comes to think about it, don’t think about buying a house first, think of an apartment. A nice one, one that you can use to help just start easy on life. I’m 15 as well, and I’m kinda on the same boat as you! We can do it together!!!! (Cringe I know- lol) I’m always here if you wanna talk to me!<3

thank you for responding @_melanie_, I hope this can help, and I appreciate the advice  Yes, I always try to think of what's happening in the moment, but sometimes I get ahead of myself and think "if I do this wrong, it's gonna affect me in the future or possibly forever" and while I've definitely gotten better, getting older is getting harder and harder to accept. and yes, my environment was never safe for a faint-hearted person like me, and it was always easy to affect my self-esteem. again, it's gotten better, but with dysphoria, it feels like it doesn't go away and I feel like everything I'm doing to make myself better and to make me happier is pointless. I am self-aware enough to know I lack motivation for anything, especially with my anxiety. I hope I get better.

[Tristian I Bel]

10 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there @Tristian I Bel, thank you for sharing what's been going on for you. It sounds like you were very young when you had your first panic attack and it's interesting that you can remember all the details! Do you mind me asking, have you ever talked to someone about your panic attacks and have you had any support with this? 

You mentioned about always being afraid of time. I can really relate to this. Personally, I find it scary how quickly time passes and I always feel like I'm running out of time. One of the things that's really helped me is to try and be more mindful. I would imagine you're probably heard about mindfulness? Is this something that you've looked into and tried out yourself. If not, maybe you can have a look at this guide https://www.ditchthelabel.org/basics-of-mindfulness/ and see whether this is something you might want to try. What do you think? 

I can see that @_melanie_ has given some great advice, too. That is something I do as well. I usually try and tell myself "There is nothing I can do about this now. If this does happen in the future I will deal with it then". This usually helps me to stay more focused on what's going on right now, rather than to worry about the future. 

It's very interesting indeed especially since, because some memories are rather traumatic or overwhelming, my brain blocks that memory out so I wonder why I remember that day. I definitely have told my mom and they have witnessed my attacks but do nothing to help in that moment or at all. they don't even ask "What can I do in the moment or to help" and they just get annoyed by my "theatrics". my friends are aware and I have three friends who have anxiety attacks so they understand so do the rest of my friends but since I tend not to have panic attacks at school, if so only in the bathroom.  I agree because if my time out I feel like I accomplished nothing and I want to have a life worthy of meaning. and thank you for responding and giving me advice, I really appreciate it 

[Aurora]

3 hours ago, Tristian I Bel said:

It's very interesting indeed especially since, because some memories are rather traumatic or overwhelming, my brain blocks that memory out so I wonder why I remember that day. I definitely have told my mom and they have witnessed my attacks but do nothing to help in that moment or at all. they don't even ask "What can I do in the moment or to help" and they just get annoyed by my "theatrics". my friends are aware and I have three friends who have anxiety attacks so they understand so do the rest of my friends but since I tend not to have panic attacks at school, if so only in the bathroom.  I agree because if my time out I feel like I accomplished nothing and I want to have a life worthy of meaning. and thank you for responding and giving me advice, I really appreciate it 

You're very welcome :) Thank you for sharing a bit more what's been going on for you. I'm sorry you've not had any support from your family - in fact it sounds like they might be making the situation more stressful for you by getting annoyed. Is that right? I'm wondering, how would you feel about speaking to someone outside your family, who might be able to support you with this? A school counsellor for example? You mentioned that you've experienced trauma in the past. They might be able to help you with this as well. What do you think? 

We're here for you as well if you would like to talk about it some more. We can either keep talking here or if you would prefer to talk about it more privately then we can also continue this conversation in confidential support. Whatever you would prefer. 

[Tristian I Bel]

8 hours ago, Aurora said:

You're very welcome :) Thank you for sharing a bit more what's been going on for you. I'm sorry you've not had any support from your family - in fact it sounds like they might be making the situation more stressful for you by getting annoyed. Is that right? I'm wondering, how would you feel about speaking to someone outside your family, who might be able to support you with this? A school counsellor for example? You mentioned that you've experienced trauma in the past. They might be able to help you with this as well. What do you think? 

We're here for you as well if you would like to talk about it some more. We can either keep talking here or if you would prefer to talk about it more privately then we can also continue this conversation in confidential support. Whatever you would prefer. 

of course and yeah thanks, mental illness isn't very acceptable with my dad specifically so it's never felt right to express my feelings because I feel like they won't understand, which they most likely won't.  For example, in February 2019 my parents were fighting for a while, and a little bit after that was over, I had a breakdown in front of my mom, just collapsed on the floor and started sobbing. it's alarming because I don't cry much, I've never seen the reason why I needed to dwell on tears, but sometimes I was just so overwhelmed that that was the only way I could react. my mom wanted an answer to why I was crying, but I didn't know why either, and she kept trying to get an answer which made me feel worse. eventually after a long while she left me alone. not too soon after that, she made me go to virtual therapy for 2 years. 

I had a counselor I trusted very much in middle school, or 8th grade, I should say. I'm sad I can't reach her because I moved to another area from her, and if I must be frank I don't trust any of the counselors in my new school, I think a lot of people here are racist, because there aren't many Hispanics here and whenever they see one they're shouting stereotypes and the counselors show their subtle but obvious signs how they're picking on me just because I made a joke the same person next to me made, but somehow I'm in the wrong for it and not them? no, I don't think I could talk with them without getting upset. 

I would like to talk because I'm a rambler as you can already tell but I'm glad your willing to listen to me

[Hawthorne11]

On 5/26/2023 at 3:49 PM, _melanie_ said:

So- I also had one today- just because of some stupid friend stuff- but it’s kinda weird because there was one point in time where I didn’t cry for years. No matter what It was. And then one time I cried in front of my mom and ever since then I cry over the smallest things- any reason why?

I so get that. since the pandemic I've been like robotic, or I was for at least a year and a half, but when I started having crap with mental health I got a lot more sensitive and now I cry way more often. It's sooo annoying bc I feel like I'm too emotional over stupid little things. but it's weird like I cry about little things but not about big things. Does that happen with you too?

[Sam.]

24 minutes ago, Hawthorne11 said:

I so get that. since the pandemic I've been like robotic, or I was for at least a year and a half, but when I started having crap with mental health I got a lot more sensitive and now I cry way more often. It's sooo annoying bc I feel like I'm too emotional over stupid little things. but it's weird like I cry about little things but not about big things. Does that happen with you too?

Omg that happens to me all the time 

[Aurora]

On 6/9/2023 at 5:56 PM, Tristian I Bel said:

of course and yeah thanks, mental illness isn't very acceptable with my dad specifically so it's never felt right to express my feelings because I feel like they won't understand, which they most likely won't.  For example, in February 2019 my parents were fighting for a while, and a little bit after that was over, I had a breakdown in front of my mom, just collapsed on the floor and started sobbing. it's alarming because I don't cry much, I've never seen the reason why I needed to dwell on tears, but sometimes I was just so overwhelmed that that was the only way I could react. my mom wanted an answer to why I was crying, but I didn't know why either, and she kept trying to get an answer which made me feel worse. eventually after a long while she left me alone. not too soon after that, she made me go to virtual therapy for 2 years. 

I had a counselor I trusted very much in middle school, or 8th grade, I should say. I'm sad I can't reach her because I moved to another area from her, and if I must be frank I don't trust any of the counselors in my new school, I think a lot of people here are racist, because there aren't many Hispanics here and whenever they see one they're shouting stereotypes and the counselors show their subtle but obvious signs how they're picking on me just because I made a joke the same person next to me made, but somehow I'm in the wrong for it and not them? no, I don't think I could talk with them without getting upset. 

I would like to talk because I'm a rambler as you can already tell but I'm glad your willing to listen to me

It's great that you like to talk. I do believe that it's better to talk about our problems, rather than keeping them in. If we keep them in and don't talk to anyone about what is worrying us, our problems often get bigger and bigger and often it will find some other way of bursting out of us. We're here for you and we are here to listen!

I'm sorry to hear you don't trust any of the counsellors at your new school. Trust is definitely a really important aspect of counselling, Have you met all of the counsellors at your school? And is there maybe one, who you think you might be able to trust at some point who seems different to the others? It sounds like you feel like the counsellors are being racist towards you and that's not OK. Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel you've been treated? Do your parents know? If not, do you think you might be able to tell someone? School is meant to be a safe place and you shouldn't have to worry about how the staff there are treating you.

I'm glad to hear you had a counsellor you trusted very much in 8th grade. Can you remember anything that you found particularly helpful from your sessions together?  You also mentioned that you did virtual therapy for two years. How was that for you and is that something you might consider doing again? 

 

[Aurora]

On 6/10/2023 at 4:09 AM, Hawthorne11 said:

I so get that. since the pandemic I've been like robotic, or I was for at least a year and a half, but when I started having crap with mental health I got a lot more sensitive and now I cry way more often. It's sooo annoying bc I feel like I'm too emotional over stupid little things. but it's weird like I cry about little things but not about big things. Does that happen with you too?

Thank you for sharing that with us. I know it feel frustrating when we get upset over little things. However, I'm wondering, do you think there might be a reason, why you are getting upset more easily? Do you mind me asking, how you feel afterwards, once you've stopped crying? 

[Hawthorne11]

I seriously have no idea. I think maybe because after I was suicidal and having issues with self-harm my family was really encouraging me to share more and not put everything in a box like I usually do, my brain went "hey, you can show emotions now! Show them more often than usual because I want to be evil!" 

I'm usually a little embarassed, but if I'm not in a public place it's fine. Sometimes I feel better, and occasionally I just feel mad that I'm crying. 

[Aurora]

10 hours ago, Hawthorne11 said:

I seriously have no idea. I think maybe because after I was suicidal and having issues with self-harm my family was really encouraging me to share more and not put everything in a box like I usually do, my brain went "hey, you can show emotions now! Show them more often than usual because I want to be evil!" 

I'm usually a little embarassed, but if I'm not in a public place it's fine. Sometimes I feel better, and occasionally I just feel mad that I'm crying. 

Hi there, thank you for being so open with us. I can imagine that this might not be easy for you to talk about and appreciate you sharing this with us. I noticed that you said that you were suicidal and had issues with self harm in the past. It's great that your family was really encouraging you to share more. Is it OK if I ask you a few more questions around this. Please don't feel you have to answer them if you don't feel comfortable to. I'm just wondering, if you got any additional support at the time? And how are you feeling now - do you still get those kinds of thoughts? Have you found other ways to cope, rather than self harm? It's OK to say if you haven't or if you are still having those kinds of thoughts. The reason why I'm asking this is so we know how to best support you. Also, please let me know if you would prefer to talk about this confidentially. We're here for you. 

I get the impression it has been helpful for you to open up a bit more, show your emotions and share more. Is that right? I'm wondering, whether part of the reason why you cry more easily now is because you kept everything in for so long and you're letting everything out and finding new ways to cope. What do you think? 

[Hawthorne11]

Sorry I didn't respond for so long! 

So I now have a therapist and am doing pretty well, I haven't been thinking like that for a while now. Plus summer has helped, I've relaxed a ton and feel way better. I don't know if it's helpful, maybe it is but I kinda don't like it lol! It probably is absolutely why, it makes sense. 

[Aurora]

On 6/30/2023 at 11:56 PM, Hawthorne11 said:

Sorry I didn't respond for so long! 

So I now have a therapist and am doing pretty well, I haven't been thinking like that for a while now. Plus summer has helped, I've relaxed a ton and feel way better. I don't know if it's helpful, maybe it is but I kinda don't like it lol! It probably is absolutely why, it makes sense. 

No problem, I'm really glad to hear you're doing pretty well now. I know what you mean about feeling more relaxed in the summer. I think most of us tend to feel better in the summer. I find you see w lot more smiley, happy people around in the summer, compared to the winter. And it sound like you are finding it really helpful seeing a therapist. Is that right? 

I can understand that you don't like it. Especially in a public space. I think most of us feel self conscious when we are around others and we often don't want to show our vulnerabilities. And I think crying is often associated with being vulnerable, even though it can be good and healthy for us to let out our emotions. It might be helpful for you to remind yourself that it won't always be like this and you're still finding new ways to cope. It sounds like what you are doing is working though and it's a really good sign that you are feeling so much better now. Would you agree? 

[Hawthorne11]

It is very helpful, I have one thing called Leaves on a Stream that I actually use to fall asleep now!

Crying is very much linked to vulnerability, especially in Western culture. I would agree with your conclusion 

[Duckie]

On 7/8/2023 at 12:30 AM, Hawthorne11 said:

It is very helpful, I have one thing called Leaves on a Stream that I actually use to fall asleep now!

Crying is very much linked to vulnerability, especially in Western culture. I would agree with your conclusion 

Hi @Hawthorne11, how are you doing?

What's this Leaves on a Stream you mentioned? It got me really curious :)

[Hawthorne11]

10 hours ago, Duckie said:

Hi @Hawthorne11, how are you doing?

What's this Leaves on a Stream you mentioned? It got me really curious :)

I'm awesome right now, I just ran 12 miles in 3 days and am completely exhausted! But it feels good 

Leaves on a Stream is basically where you imagine this stream with a tree on the banks. It can look like whatever you want, it doesn't even have to be a tree, it could be a bush or a flower, just something with leaves, or the stream could be a big river or something. But this tree or whatever is losing leaves, and every time you have a thought, a leaf falls off into the stream, and you imagine the thought written or an image from the thought on that leaf. Then you imagine the thought floating away on the stream. It's not as effective if you don't have a strong imagination, but as I do it's very calming and works extremely well.