HOW TO GET EX BACK

[john24698]

We had a very nice relationship (I think), but she broke it off a couple of months ago, it was very emotional for me and still is. Right after that I sent her a long message explaining how much it all had hurt me, she replied saying never to hurt me again and we both agree that it would be best we ended it.

 

I tried to contact her after a about one month but she was very cold, it hurts so much. I thought she will be happy to see me again, she have might missed me. I was missing her so much and I thought she would be happy to see me.

 

She just said cold hello, how am I and maybe little more. No warm word.

 

We've been together 3 years, gone through little break ups but always gettin back together.

 

This time it's different and very painful for me to see her acting this way.

 

I'm constantly deleteding and re-adding her number and blockeding her on social media.

 

I came across some some advices like this one here -> https://insearchofromance.com/how-you-can-get-him-back/

this one is I gues for girls, but think it will be almost the same for guys.

 

I'm hopeless, can't watch TV, eat, sleep.

Many others have defenetly been through the same but I feel like beeing completely alone now.

 

Please give me some advice. Thank you so much for any.

[Willow]

Hey John24698,

 

Welcome to Community! Thanks for sharing this... I hope our Community can be helpful for what you're working through.

 

Do you have expectations/desires for how your relationship with this girl will look? You menitoning having an off and on relationship, in the past. Is that how you think/wish it will be, again?

 

By her 'cold' replies, I get the feeling she may be worried that you're interested in getting back together with her. But maybe she's trying to change the kind of relatioship you have, into more of a friendship... it sounds like she's setting up boundaries, and not know how to speak to you about her needs. I can imagine she misses you... but you two have spoken about moving on, and that's how she's living.

 

I'm so sorry you can't eat or sleep. That's horrible! I can imagine you're doing a lot of worrying and wondering about what her actions mean... do you think you could ever speak to her about how you're feeling? If so, here's an article on Conflict Resolution that might help facilitate a healthy conversation:

 

https://www.ditchthelabel.org/speak-anyone-anything-conflict-resolution/

 

-willow

[john24698]

Dear Willow,

 

thank you so much for your reply. It means to me a lot. Thank you.

[Anonymous22]

Hello John,

 

I have went through multiple similar occasions... My most Ex Girlfriend and I had been in 2 other relationships before spread a couple years apart then last year in June she was hitting on my friend at a fancy restaurant during my Grade 7 Trip. I took no care in the world because it had been a couple years since our last relationship, but then the next day she asked her Dad if I was allowed to come over to her house for a SLEEPOVER her dad finally agreed so she asked if I wanted to come over I said sure why not. (besides all obvious reasons rushing through my brain) I got home after the trip and my Mom wasn't home yet but her Boyfriend was, he was the one that came and got me after my trip. So I told him about the sleepover my mom and him talked about it, my mom talked to her dad then it was official I was going to my Ex two times overs house! Me and her talked and I kept teaching her how to play YuGiOh then she all of a sudden ask if I wanted to be her boyfriend I said sure thinking what could go wrong. (Besides the fact that this same relationship had failed twice over...) during the summer and after school on Monday's we would meet at the park by my house and play YuGiOh, Take a walk and the best/most awkward part Play Truth or Dare! I always chose dare and she always told me to pick my dare and she would always choose dates then I would only have one idea so it was the most boring and interesting game of truth or dare ever... so we had then kissed awkwardly a couple times cause neither of us had kissed anyone before. Then school starts back up, we graduate to secondary school and during the Terry Fox Run I had managed to find both her and my friend from the grade 7 trip walking along so I joined them. A couple minutes later she says she wants to break up with me, this is after she was being weird and avoiding me the whole first week of school. Couple more minutes later she asks that same friend out right in front of me (I mean talk about moving on quickly) the friend declined most likely out of respect of our friendship because, guess what she does next? She tells him she will do absolutely anything no limitations whatsoever and says how she had not had her first period yet me and my friend exchanged strange looks at each other and he still denies her... although he could have accepted then said to break up with him and get back with me. Next week after that she decides that she is Bi. (nothing wrong with that obviously...) But then 2 months later she goes up on stage and sings "Someone Like You" By, Adele, she did horrible missed most of the lines but it was still emotional because of the context of the song...