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I need to let it all out but can't


R A I N    

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  • Digital Mentor
On 5/17/2023 at 9:46 PM, R A I N said:

i dont think so i cant even do anything to help myself. I dont think any1 can do anything for me at the moment

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It can be incredibly tough when it seems like nothing can make a difference in our lives. I do want to remind you that everyone goes through difficult times, and reaching out for support is a brave step. While I may not fully understand your situation, I'm here to listen and offer whatever support I can. It's okay to ask for help, and sometimes talking about what you're going through can provide some relief. Remember, you don't have to face everything alone, this is a safe space to rant or vent. 

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On 5/17/2023 at 1:37 PM, R A I N said:

not rlly gosh my life feels so depressing more than ever like literally just dk how to cope w everything - esp as my headphones hv been taken away like i loved them sm. I'm not even close w any1 so it's not like i can hang around n talk abt it either so i dont get what i'm supposed to do w myself every single day for the rest of my life. Like everythings been confiscated, i'm not rlly allowed out the house so all i can do is chores n hw which is just great. Ik i sound like i'm going on a rant but rlly i just feel there's no purpose in me being here anymore n i just feel so lost n alone n i just want it all to end. It just brings me to tears thinking abt it n typing this up but wait i cant even cry either so i hv to wipe them quickly b4 sum1 sees.

Damm*t, why did I lose track of this post.

sigh, I wish I could give you a hug right now. Wipe those tears for you, give you the confidence to not fear those days. 
I would be lying if I said I did not get it tho, :( is there anyway you could get more headphones or smth? 
 

it is logical, and natural that you would want it to end, I mean, like I hate that you are in so much pain.. what would be like your ideal dream in life? It can be whatever, if you want to tell me❤️🫂

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On 5/17/2023 at 1:46 PM, R A I N said:

i dont think so i cant even do anything to help myself. I dont think any1 can do anything for me at the moment

Sigh🥺 you know you best, and the only thing I can do is just type words.. we are all a little helpless huh 😅 but at the same time, we need to fight to stay alive 🤔 

alright, well the only thing I can do is say that I am here for you, and how I wish I could wrap you in a little leaf burrito in a sunbeam of perfect temperature, looking at the sky and swaying trees above 😌❤️‍🩹

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4 hours ago, Luie said:

Heyy @R A I N, I am truly sorry to hear that struggles you're going through. Thank you for opening up about how you are feeling. I know it can be difficult to do, especially when we are feeling really low. Before I reply to the other things you mentioned I just wanted to check with you to see if you are feeling safe right now? I know this might be a bit of a direct question to ask but your safety is the most important thing and we care about you and want to make sure you are safe. It’s OK to say if you’re not feeling safe. The more we know the better we can support you. Just in case you ever need it, here is some safety information. If you ever feel like you are in crisis then you can reach out to the following: 

  • UK - The Samaritans: 116 123 (24/7 service)
  • USA - NSPL: 1-800-273-8255
  • A list of worldwide crisis lines: https://www.befrienders.org - you can find the one for your country and call them if you are in crisis 
  • An app I can recommend: https://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find-help-now/stay-alive-app/ this has safety plans to make sure you don't harm yourself and you might find it useful
  • Remember, you can always call the emergency services or go to your local emergency department at the hospital for support

Please know that we are here for you. 
 

yes, i'm safe

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10 minutes ago, R A I N said:

yes, i'm safe

Thank you for letting us know - as @Luie said, we're here for you.

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On 5/19/2023 at 6:11 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Sigh🥺 you know you best, and the only thing I can do is just type words.. we are all a little helpless huh 😅 but at the same time, we need to fight to stay alive 🤔 

alright, well the only thing I can do is say that I am here for you, and how I wish I could wrap you in a little leaf burrito in a sunbeam of perfect temperature, looking at the sky and swaying trees above 😌❤️‍🩹

ig so. That's so sweet of u to say n yes that wud be amazing wudnt it? Gosh i rlly do wish i didnt hv to deal w this crap it's ac getting too much for me n it just keeps piling on - it doesnt stop. Man life sucks a lot

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46 minutes ago, R A I N said:

ig so. That's so sweet of u to say n yes that wud be amazing wudnt it? Gosh i rlly do wish i didnt hv to deal w this crap it's ac getting too much for me n it just keeps piling on - it doesnt stop. Man life sucks a lot

Oh no, not the pile on! Are you a trash dump? I don't think so, is there anyway you can compost this stuff that is breaking you? ❤️‍🩹

🎼Lay your burdens 🎵dowwwwwn🎵 by the riverside~~🎶❤️‍🩹 ':)

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2 hours ago, R A I N said:

ig so. That's so sweet of u to say n yes that wud be amazing wudnt it? Gosh i rlly do wish i didnt hv to deal w this crap it's ac getting too much for me n it just keeps piling on - it doesnt stop. Man life sucks a lot

Hey I'm sorry to hear things are so rough right now.  What has been piling on recently for you? (If you prefer to continue this conversation on Confidential Support, that's okay too by the way).  It's hard to keep any positives in mind when feeling like this, but do know that you deserve to feel better, and that things can get better. 

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Oh and, @R A I N, idk if this would at all help you to feel better, even a little bit, but... I like the banner on your profile, I also find your actual pfp cool, why a car?  Any specific meaning? Like you don't have to, but sometimes it can be nice to talk about this stuff ':)

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12 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Oh and, @R A I N, idk if this would at all help you to feel better, even a little bit, but... I like the banner on your profile, I also find your actual pfp cool, why a car?  Any specific meaning? Like you don't have to, but sometimes it can be nice to talk about this stuff ':)

i'm not sure what you mean by banner but thx. I like cars - sports cars mainly but yeh. Unfortunately, I dont think i can compost the stuff thats breaking me, it;s pretty hard stuff tbh

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15 hours ago, Catsup said:

Hey I'm sorry to hear things are so rough right now.  What has been piling on recently for you? (If you prefer to continue this conversation on Confidential Support, that's okay too by the way).  It's hard to keep any positives in mind when feeling like this, but do know that you deserve to feel better, and that things can get better. 

well a lot of things rlly n all of it just combines into this rlly depressing mood n i'm just struggling to cope now.

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54 minutes ago, R A I N said:

well a lot of things rlly n all of it just combines into this rlly depressing mood n i'm just struggling to cope now.

ya, im sorry to hear that, for me is is often cuz there are so many things on so many levels 😔

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55 minutes ago, R A I N said:

i'm not sure what you mean by banner but thx. I like cars - sports cars mainly but yeh. Unfortunately, I dont think i can compost the stuff thats breaking me, it;s pretty hard stuff tbh

Lol, the banner like um, the blond prtty guy on ur acc (?)

Thats cool, my fam just went to a demolition derby 😅 I don't know a lot about cars tbh

I mean, alright, It can just be a lot, you can ~try~ to explain it here if u want and I'll try my best to listen 🫂❤️

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1 hour ago, R A I N said:

well a lot of things rlly n all of it just combines into this rlly depressing mood n i'm just struggling to cope now.

Hey there,

We have just replied to your confidential support request. We hope to hear back from you soon. Take care. 

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22 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

Lol, the banner like um, the blond prtty guy on ur acc (?)

Thats cool, my fam just went to a demolition derby 😅 I don't know a lot about cars tbh

I mean, alright, It can just be a lot, you can ~try~ to explain it here if u want and I'll try my best to listen 🫂❤️

oh yeh i think he's rlly pretty too thx. Thats sweet of u to offer but dym me asking, how r U? Cz honestly i think u've heard enough abt me. Also, bad news cz uhm i relapsed yesterday. I lost my streak of 2 months and 1 week

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25 minutes ago, R A I N said:

oh yeh i think he's rlly pretty too thx. Thats sweet of u to offer but dym me asking, how r U? Cz honestly i think u've heard enough abt me. Also, bad news cz uhm i relapsed yesterday. I lost my streak of 2 months and 1 week

Ya yo he is really pretty tho 💀 fun/cringy fact, I was binge watching BTS interviews last night

Pfft, I can anwser your question, cuz I don’t love talking about myself too sometimes so I need to ask how the other person is too, but ah let it be like a good game of back and forth tennis.

I’m alright, dealing with some attitude tinkering, so to speak. Like, trying to adjust my attitude in belief it will give me more motivation 

I am rlly sorry to hear that you relapsed :/ what was that like? (I ask cuz I kinda don’t know what you mean tbh 😅) u don’t have to, but I am here for you, and it’s ok it not be under so much pressure too

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  • Digital Mentor
17 hours ago, R A I N said:

oh yeh i think he's rlly pretty too thx. Thats sweet of u to offer but dym me asking, how r U? Cz honestly i think u've heard enough abt me. Also, bad news cz uhm i relapsed yesterday. I lost my streak of 2 months and 1 week

Hi there, I noticed that you said that you relapsed yesterday. I was just wondering if you were talking about self harm? Don't feel you have to answer if you don't want to. If you prefer we can also talk about it in confidential support. I just wanted to say that there is nothing to feel bad about. When we're recovering from something there will be ups and down and relapses are really common when we are trying to make a big change. What might be helpful is to think about what helped you stop last time - maybe that will help again. What do you think? Please know that we are here for you  

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On 5/24/2023 at 5:19 PM, Equivalent Ways said:

Ya yo he is really pretty tho 💀 fun/cringy fact, I was binge watching BTS interviews last night

Pfft, I can anwser your question, cuz I don’t love talking about myself too sometimes so I need to ask how the other person is too, but ah let it be like a good game of back and forth tennis.

I’m alright, dealing with some attitude tinkering, so to speak. Like, trying to adjust my attitude in belief it will give me more motivation 

I am rlly sorry to hear that you relapsed :/ what was that like? (I ask cuz I kinda don’t know what you mean tbh 😅) u don’t have to, but I am here for you, and it’s ok it not be under so much pressure too

I love BTS and kpop in general. That's good to hear. I relapsed as in i slipped back in sh.

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8 hours ago, Aurora said:

Hi there, I noticed that you said that you relapsed yesterday. I was just wondering if you were talking about self harm? Don't feel you have to answer if you don't want to. If you prefer we can also talk about it in confidential support. I just wanted to say that there is nothing to feel bad about. When we're recovering from something there will be ups and down and relapses are really common when we are trying to make a big change. What might be helpful is to think about what helped you stop last time - maybe that will help again. What do you think? Please know that we are here for you  

I'm not rlly sure about what happened last time but i had an argument with my mum on like tuesday and i think that triggered my self-harming again. Gosh i feel so bad.

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4 hours ago, R A I N said:

I love BTS and kpop in general. That's good to hear. I relapsed as in i slipped back in sh.

ikr, I am kinda obsessed 🤭 I love so many different kinds of music

That is a big oof, I am sorry. If I am honest, I don't completely understand but I also think I might 😅 where are you at now with it?

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I can be impatient at times 😅

 

ikr, I am kinda obsessed 🤭 I love so many different kinds of music

That is a big oof, I am sorry. If I am honest, I don't completely understand but I also think I might 😅 where are you at now with it?

 

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4 hours ago, R A I N said:

I'm not rlly sure about what happened last time but i had an argument with my mum on like tuesday and i think that triggered my self-harming again. Gosh i feel so bad.

 

Hey there,

Aurora will only be back tomorrow, but I just wanted to check in as I can see you mentioned self-harm. I'm wondering, are you safe at the moment? I hope you're as okay as you can be. If you aren't though, please do let us know so we can help you. 

 

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  • Digital Mentor
14 hours ago, R A I N said:

I'm not rlly sure about what happened last time but i had an argument with my mum on like tuesday and i think that triggered my self-harming again. Gosh i feel so bad.

I can see that Monsoon has already checked in with you to see if you are feeling safe at the moment? It's Ok to say if you aren't. The more we know, the better we can support you. You are not alone with this. 

Please don't feel bad about self harming again. As I mentioned to you before, when we are recovering from self harm there will be ups and downs and it's really common to relapse on the way. This is all part of learning new ways on how to cope with things. What you mind find helpful right now is to remind yourself, why you stopped sh in the first place and think about how you managed to stop last time?  What helped you and what are other ways on how you can let out your emotions in a safe way? Don't worry if you can't think of anything - we can think about it together if you would find that more helpful. 

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10 hours ago, Aurora said:

I can see that Monsoon has already checked in with you to see if you are feeling safe at the moment? It's Ok to say if you aren't. The more we know, the better we can support you. You are not alone with this. 

Please don't feel bad about self harming again. As I mentioned to you before, when we are recovering from self harm there will be ups and downs and it's really common to relapse on the way. This is all part of learning new ways on how to cope with things. What you mind find helpful right now is to remind yourself, why you stopped sh in the first place and think about how you managed to stop last time?  What helped you and what are other ways on how you can let out your emotions in a safe way? Don't worry if you can't think of anything - we can think about it together if you would find that more helpful. 

i''m not really sure how I stopped last time and I am safe.

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20 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said:

I can be impatient at times 😅

ikr, I am kinda obsessed 🤭 I love so many different kinds of music

That is a big oof, I am sorry. If I am honest, I don't completely understand but I also think I might 😅 where are you at now with it?

it's alr but basically i hadnt self-harmed for like 2 months and 1 week until tuesday where I slipped back into sh sadly - idk if it makes sense to u

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