Digital Mentor Aurora Posted April 5, 2023 Digital Mentor Share Posted April 5, 2023 15 hours ago, Ronak said: Hello guys I have really messed up I mean really badly, I was talking to this girl and paid her to have sexting call aka video sex call and I messed up she is asking me for money to delete the videos and has gotten my old address and im really worried yes I know I messed, yes im the one to blame for being stupid and desperate and yes I won’t ever do that again, I can’t tell family because I from a brown family and if I tell them they will most likely kick me out the house and won’t forgive I suffer from depression and this incident has made it worse please help me and sorry that I messed up! Hi @Ronak, I can see you are new here so I wanted to start off by saying a big welcome to Ditch the Label. It's good to have you here I'm Aurora and I am one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I give support and advice to those who reach out to us. I'm really glad you found us and we can support you through this. I can see that @Olivia05 has already been giving you advice, which is great. I wanted to start off by reassuring you that there is nothing to feel ashamed about. You were having fun online and that's a perfectly normal thing to do. What's not OK is that the other person broke your trust. And I'm so sorry this happened to you. You did nothing wrong! Can I just check what platform this happened on? Am I right in thinking that she got the video via WhatsApp? Did she also blackmail you via WhatsApp? If you haven't done so already it would be good to take screenshots of the conversation where she blackmailed you. I would advise you to make your all your social media accounts private if they are not already and block the individual (be sure to also select the option to block any new accounts they might make). If they know your real name, take this out of any social media usernames. You could also try to find their account on other social media platforms and block them there. @Olivia05 is right - what they are doing is a crime. The blackmail aspect of it is and they are also committing a crime by having your video as you are under 18. I know you're reluctant to go to the police as you don't want your parents to find out but I think you should consider reporting this. Is there an adult your trust, apart from your parents, who you could tell? Then they could support you with this. What do you think? Just to let you know that we have lots of experience in supporting people who have been blackmailed to pay money in the same way you have. As a general rule we advise to never pay the individual. Their only motivation is money, and when they realise they aren’t going to get it, they have nothing to gain by then leaking the picture, because they know they won’t get money. Therefore, I would suggest that you ignore all communication from now on. From experience, the more time that passes, the less likely it is that the content will be leaked as the individual usually then moves on. How does that sound? Please know that we are here for you. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 14 minutes ago, Olivia05 said: Has it happened before? Like to someone else? Also are your parents religious? It hasn’t happened before and yes my family is religious MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 9 minutes ago, Aurora said: Hi @Ronak, I can see you are new here so I wanted to start off by saying a big welcome to Ditch the Label. It's good to have you here I'm Aurora and I am one of the support mentors here at Ditch the Label. I give support and advice to those who reach out to us. I'm really glad you found us and we can support you through this. I can see that @Olivia05 has already been giving you advice, which is great. I wanted to start off by reassuring you that there is nothing to feel ashamed about. You were having fun online and that's a perfectly normal thing to do. What's not OK is that the other person broke your trust. And I'm so sorry this happened to you. You did nothing wrong! Can I just check what platform this happened on? Am I right in thinking that she got the video via WhatsApp? Did she also blackmail you via WhatsApp? If you haven't done so already it would be good to take screenshots of the conversation where she blackmailed you. I would advise you to make your all your social media accounts private if they are not already and block the individual (be sure to also select the option to block any new accounts they might make). If they know your real name, take this out of any social media usernames. You could also try to find their account on other social media platforms and block them there. @Olivia05 is right - what they are doing is a crime. The blackmail aspect of it is and they are also committing a crime by having your video as you are under 18. I know you're reluctant to go to the police as you don't want your parents to find out but I think you should consider reporting this. Is there an adult your trust, apart from your parents, who you could tell? Then they could support you with this. What do you think? Just to let you know that we have lots of experience in supporting people who have been blackmailed to pay money in the same way you have. As a general rule we advise to never pay the individual. Their only motivation is money, and when they realise they aren’t going to get it, they have nothing to gain by then leaking the picture, because they know they won’t get money. Therefore, I would suggest that you ignore all communication from now on. From experience, the more time that passes, the less likely it is that the content will be leaked as the individual usually then moves on. How does that sound? Please know that we are here for you. Hello there @Aurora, thank you for reaching out @Olivia05 has been helping me and I’m really grateful for her and yourself, yes I’m getting blackmailed via WhatsApp and I’ve take all screenshots and videos she sent and everything. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 10 minutes ago, Ronak said: It hasn’t happened before and yes my family is religious Ok like @Aurora said, is there a family member you can trust to tell and then they can help you report it? Because ik you can’t report it because you’re scared your family might find out if you do but with that trusted adult you can report it and probably save hundreds of other people from being in the situation you are in. The people that are moving in to your old house, would they tell your parents if she went to their house? Or would they try and help you out? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Another crime child abuse. Three crimes. And I’m also guessing she’s done this multiple times, so she could go to jail for at least 20 yrs (that’s the max) and depending how many minors she’s done this to probably more MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 19 minutes ago, Olivia05 said: Ok like @Aurora said, is there a family member you can trust to tell and then they can help you report it? Because ik you can’t report it because you’re scared your family might find out if you do but with that trusted adult you can report it and probably save hundreds of other people from being in the situation you are in. The people that are moving in to your old house, would they tell your parents if she went to their house? Or would they try and help you out? I had this one cousin who lived in Moscow who I used to talk to all my problems about unfortunately now he can’t talk to me because his mother doesn’t like me and I’ve reached to this one online angency and are helping me kinda just waiting for them to get back to me @Olivia05 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 4 minutes ago, Ronak said: I had this one cousin who lived in Moscow who I used to talk to all my problems about unfortunately now he can’t talk to me because his mother doesn’t like me and I’ve reached to this one online angency and are helping me kinda just waiting for them to get back to me @Olivia05 Ok yes that’s good that your trying to seek help MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Leila- Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Hey are you ok? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 9 minutes ago, Olivia05 said: Ok yes that’s good that your trying to seek help They reached out to me, they need a gurdian with me to be able to continue the case MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 5 minutes ago, Leila_xx said: Hey are you ok? I’m trying to stay calm but not being able to be calm MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 12 minutes ago, Olivia05 said: Ok yes that’s good that your trying to seek help They don’t want a guardian no more they want one of my parents on the call @Olivia05 and @Aurora MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 3 minutes ago, Ronak said: They reached out to me, they need a gurdian with me to be able to continue the case Ok like I asked before do you have a trusted adult that you could be with? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, Olivia05 said: Ok like I asked before do you have a trusted adult that you could be with? Yes I found someone that I can trust with anything just waiting for them to respond. MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, Ronak said: They don’t want a guardian no more they want one of my parents on the call @Olivia05 and @Aurora Ok that sucks. If you had to tell them which parent would be more helpful in this situation? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 2 minutes ago, Olivia05 said: Ok that sucks. If you had to tell them which parent would be more helpful in this situation? My mom but the thing is she can’t speak English @Olivia05 MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, Ronak said: My mom but the thing is she can’t speak English @Olivia05 Could you translate for her? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Leila- Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 8 minutes ago, Ronak said: I’m trying to stay calm but not being able to be calm We’re here for you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, Olivia05 said: Could you translate for her? Yeah but she would tell my dad even if I tell her not to MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, Leila_xx said: We’re here for you Thank you MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olivia05 Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 1 minute ago, Ronak said: Yeah but she would tell my dad even if I tell her not to Ok how would your dad react? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Leila- Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 1 minute ago, Ronak said: Thank you Havw you reported this to the police? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 34 minutes ago, Olivia05 said: Ok how would your dad react? My dad would get aggressive infact last year my older brother was arrested for phedofila but it’s turn out it wasn’t true he was a victim in that case and didn’t get a criminal record or anything and thank god my brother was innocent but my dad kicked him out the house and was aggressive with him and he came back after hole month after my uncles convinced my dad it was long and if I tell him that I’m a victim I’m screwed and I’m not on the best terms with my dad currently too MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 36 minutes ago, Leila_xx said: Havw you reported this to the police? No I haven’t MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Leila- Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 14 minutes ago, Ronak said: No I haven’t do you feel at risk? MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ronak Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 Just now, Leila_xx said: do you feel at risk? Yeah I sort of do MultiQuote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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