Equivalent Ways Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 54 minutes ago, Luie said: That's good to know, I can totally imagine how scary that must've been, if you get these often and want to speak more about it just send through a request on Confidential support, happy to see how I can help you further if needed Thank you so much Luie, i will reach out if i need too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 9 hours ago, Equivalent Ways said: Just had a really awful nightmare 🫠✌ I’m kinda terrified rn I am also really tired but i know if I go back to bed another one will come rolling.. like, that was so stressful Sorry about that. Been having a rough month in relation to nightmares. It’s always reliving past events that I wish I could forget. My sleep schedule is destroyed. But hey, like I always say, “Why be an Early Bird or Night Owl when you can just be an Insomniac and have the best of both worlds?” 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 7 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: Sorry about that. Been having a rough month in relation to nightmares. It’s always reliving past events that I wish I could forget. My sleep schedule is destroyed. But hey, like I always say, “Why be an Early Bird or Night Owl when you can just be an Insomniac and have the best of both worlds?” Thanks, . As long as i can take naps if my body requires it, then great, I guess. I am also gonna reply to you in the oher convo but idk how long it will take, but i will! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 1 minute ago, Equivalent Ways said: Thanks, . As long as i can take naps if my body requires it, then great, I guess. I am also gonna reply to you in the oher convo but idk how long it will take, but i will! Haha of course I can’t sleep with the sun assaulting my bedroom and by extension my eyes so no naps for me :’) I have curtains but they’re not put up yet. Okay. Don’t pressure yourself to reply either, I know I write too much and I’m sorry about that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 22 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: Haha of course I can’t sleep with the sun assaulting my bedroom and by extension my eyes so no naps for me :’) I have curtains but they’re not put up yet. Okay. Don’t pressure yourself to reply either, I know I write too much and I’m sorry about that. Nah yo, i <3 reading your stuff, I swear i just don't know how you type so fast. Sometimes on my laptop i still chicken peck lolol Yeah the sun is too bright sometimes -___- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 1 hour ago, TinyDinos said: Haha of course I can’t sleep with the sun assaulting my bedroom and by extension my eyes so no naps for me :’) I have curtains but they’re not put up yet. Okay. Don’t pressure yourself to reply either, I know I write too much and I’m sorry about that. Oh ya, I just remembered that I don't need to pressure myself and that we have time and there is no need to rush, lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 1 hour ago, Equivalent Ways said: Nah yo, i <3 reading your stuff, I swear i just don't know how you type so fast. Sometimes on my laptop i still chicken peck lolol Yeah the sun is too bright sometimes -___- I type a lot lolll. I also have too many words in my head and my mouth goes just as fast. My parents say it’s what gets me in trouble haha You’re literally just like me! We literally talk the same way and everything it’s so cool meeting my online twin hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Mentor Aurora Posted February 24 Digital Mentor Share Posted February 24 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. On 2/22/2023 at 8:40 PM, TinyDinos said: Yeah. Reflective is a positive way of putting it and I like that. I tend to think of it as over analytical but I normally think negatively so I guess I didn’t think about using a word with a positive connotation, so thank you for that. That makes sense, and I’m trying to figure out at least most of the triggers we have as a whole but for now even the ones I understand are difficult to avoid. I am. I live in the US and when you go in for a physical exam, they make you do a mental health screening so I’d get it through my doctor and my mom doesn’t have to approve it. I’m homeschooled . Yeah you’re correct about that. I think it’s just a habit at this point to be pessimistic because I had to protect people before, and now I don’t if that makes sense? They’ve been good though, and I was outside all day yesterday and I think that helped with my mental health so I’m doing good today I'm glad to hear you had a good day on Wednesday. It's funny how being outside can have such a positive impact on how we feel. I sometimes love to just lie on the ground and watch the clouds - somehow gives me inner peace and makes me feel calm. It's good to hear that your doctor does the mental health screening and your mom doesn't have to approve it. Do you already have an appointment for the physical exam? It's really interesting that you've been seeing it as over analytical and again I thought that was such a reflective thing of you to notice. It sounds like you're now seeing your skill as a more positive thing. I have noticed that you've mentioned in a few other posts yesterday that you are feeling lonely and a bit down on yourself. Is that right? I get the impression that you're finding it difficult to notice what a wonderful, talented person you are. That made me think whether you might want to try to reframe some of those thoughts you've been having, to more positive thoughts, like we did with over analytical and reflective. Do you think that might be helpful and do you want to give that a go? Let me know if you do and I can give you a few suggestions what you can try. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. 4 hours ago, Aurora said: I'm glad to hear you had a good day on Wednesday. It's funny how being outside can have such a positive impact on how we feel. I sometimes love to just lie on the ground and watch the clouds - somehow gives me inner peace and makes me feel calm. It's good to hear that your doctor does the mental health screening and your mom doesn't have to approve it. Do you already have an appointment for the physical exam? It's really interesting that you've been seeing it as over analytical and again I thought that was such a reflective thing of you to notice. It sounds like you're now seeing your skill as a more positive thing. I have noticed that you've mentioned in a few other posts yesterday that you are feeling lonely and a bit down on yourself. Is that right? I get the impression that you're finding it difficult to notice what a wonderful, talented person you are. That made me think whether you might want to try to reframe some of those thoughts you've been having, to more positive thoughts, like we did with over analytical and reflective. Do you think that might be helpful and do you want to give that a go? Let me know if you do and I can give you a few suggestions what you can try. Thank you again for all of your time and replies, I really appreciate it It really is nice. It started raining so I can’t really go outside now, but I like sitting by my window in my room and listening to the rain. Lovely feelings from that I don’t have an appointment, but I know it’s gonna be soon. She wants to list me as an official employee for her business, and because I’m a minor still, the laws in California first and foremost require a physical exam. Thank you. I think that can be chalked up to the fact that I spend too much time in my head, whether that be a good thing or a bad one. Sometimes it has self reflection and why I should be proud of myself for how I handles a situation or it can be me dwelling on something my mom yelled at me about 2 months ago and I’m still hurt by it because I don’t want to confront her about it, y’know what I mean?? Yeah I do think that’s an accurate statement for me. I think it’s a weird grey area as far as noticing my strengths, because I feel really bad about what I’m doing wrong all of the time and how much trouble I am to be around, but I genuinely like helping people. I know what I’m good at and push to do 110% because I know that in some cases, I’m the most qualified for the task at hand. I keep contradicting myself and I’m starting to think this is why I’m so tired all of the time . So much internal conflict over what it is I expect of myself I am interested in trying that, but I’m afraid I might still be really resistant to the idea that I deserve to be praised for anything. I get stuck in this place where it just feels like no matter how much good I do, my bad actions and interactions still far outweigh them. I’m willing to try though. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 (edited) Also, quick thank you to @Equivalent Ways for all of their help yesterday.. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through yesterday without you friend and I really do appreciate you Edited February 24 by TinyDinos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 9 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: Also, quick thank you to @Equivalent Ways for all of their help yesterday.. I don’t think I could’ve gotten through yesterday without you friend and I really do appreciate you Oh gosh, yess Dino! I am so glad i could help. Like to know that i helped someone through a hard time is just ~so special~ I really appreciate your insights too and I think you are a very admirable person. I am so proud of you. i also relate to so many things in your above post, especially the reflecting-mind part. And i pushed myself so hard, tried to control myself all the time, that I brokeI dont want that to happen to you, so please be free 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 Just now, Equivalent Ways said: Oh gosh, yess Dino! I am so glad i could help. Like to know that i helped someone through a hard time is just ~so special~ I really appreciate your insights too and I think you are a very admirable person. I am so proud of you. i also relate to so many things in your above post, especially the reflecting-mind part. And i pushed myself so hard, tried to control myself all the time, that I brokeI dont want that to happen to you, so please be free We literally have so much in common man.. you sure I’m not like, your evil twin and we were separated at birth or smth?? But all jokes aside lol, I really am so grateful to have met you, and I appreciate you so much. I’m working on getting better because of your encouragement Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 Just now, TinyDinos said: We literally have so much in common man.. you sure I’m not like, your evil twin and we were separated at birth or smth?? But all jokes aside lol, I really am so grateful to have met you, and I appreciate you so much. I’m working on getting better because of your encouragement Lolol, that would be so cool and make sense but I dont think so hah. Part of me kinda believes I have hatched from an egg cuz where is the proof otherwise I want you to have peace, and me too..Raise each other up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 This post has been flagged with warnings, as follows: Other, Trauma Click this notice to reveal the content. 52 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: Thank you again for all of your time and replies, I really appreciate it It really is nice. It started raining so I can’t really go outside now, but I like sitting by my window in my room and listening to the rain. Lovely feelings from that I don’t have an appointment, but I know it’s gonna be soon. She wants to list me as an official employee for her business, and because I’m a minor still, the laws in California first and foremost require a physical exam. Thank you. I think that can be chalked up to the fact that I spend too much time in my head, whether that be a good thing or a bad one. Sometimes it has self reflection and why I should be proud of myself for how I handles a situation or it can be me dwelling on something my mom yelled at me about 2 months ago and I’m still hurt by it because I don’t want to confront her about it, y’know what I mean?? Yeah I do think that’s an accurate statement for me. I think it’s a weird grey area as far as noticing my strengths, because I feel really bad about what I’m doing wrong all of the time and how much trouble I am to be around, but I genuinely like helping people. I know what I’m good at and push to do 110% because I know that in some cases, I’m the most qualified for the task at hand. I keep contradicting myself and I’m starting to think this is why I’m so tired all of the time . So much internal conflict over what it is I expect of myself I am interested in trying that, but I’m afraid I might still be really resistant to the idea that I deserve to be praised for anything. I get stuck in this place where it just feels like no matter how much good I do, my bad actions and interactions still far outweigh them. I’m willing to try though. If only you could see DarlingDino, it is humorously outrageous that your 'bad' could ever outweigh the massive boulder of your pure, unmistakable good. We think that we need to always be doing more, and yeah It's great to be doing stuff but we actually don't need too. There is a time to embrace, and to refrain. When we refrain, it activates something . Just for a moment or two, even though it is one of the hardest things to do. We can just be what we already are, even if it may not be 'perfect' by our definition. And that is perfectly ok 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 59 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: We literally have so much in common man.. you sure I’m not like, your evil twin and we were separated at birth or smth?? But all jokes aside lol, I really am so grateful to have met you, and I appreciate you so much. I’m working on getting better because of your encouragement Haha,, another thing... we have in common that I just connected. I think you said that you have some Puerto Rico in your blood, and I actually have some El Salvador in MY blood. I just don't really identify with it cuz i can't say I was super influenced by it with my parents but I still count it! But WTH! How is this a thing with us 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 28 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said: Haha,, another thing... we have in common that I just connected. I think you said that you have some Puerto Rico in your blood, and I actually have some El Salvador in MY blood. I just don't really identify with it cuz i can't say I was super influenced by it with my parents but I still count it! But WTH! How is this a thing with us Aww I love that!!!! That makes us cousins!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 Happy clothes time Demon Slayer Outfit with black, red and white Nikes My dad saw my room at my moms house today, that was scary. I shared poetry with him. That was scary too. on my way to his house and I feel sick I wanna ~vomit~ in His car :) I might cry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 My clothes aren’t working. Dark place for me right nowwwwwwww. Might be the clouds, might be my brain. Either way I hope this car crashes and I don’t make it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 16 minutes ago, TinyDinos said: My clothes aren’t working. Dark place for me right nowwwwwwww. Might be the clouds, might be my brain. Either way I hope this car crashes and I don’t make it out. guuuuuuuuurrrrrlllll, talk to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 Just now, Equivalent Ways said: guuuuuuuuurrrrrlllll, talk to me. I get what it feels like to freak out tho.. some of my next few posts might need to be checked before shown but ima be here for you!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 I used to think, one time when it was a cold day(maybe in sept?) i was looking at traffic, and imagined. It was raining, I was walking through the crosswalk and a car almost hit me, they said sorry and drove off. I looked back and thought, 'dont be sorry, if you hit me, it would have felt like a kiss'. Then i swooped back to reality and was like, woah, what the... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 5 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said: I get what it feels like to freak out tho.. some of my next few posts might need to be checked before shown but ima be here for you!!! I understand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Equivalent Ways Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 Also, I had to see my dad every other weekend(he legit did not even wanna be involved with us i swear-) And I would look out the back of his car window, feeling dead but crying on the inside as I watched the image of my helpless mom fade away as we went onto the highway. I have car trauma, also from when my dad was arguing violently with my brother while my dad was driving and I could not leave I just had to listen but was also ignored, I thought my dad was gonna crash the car or smth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 3 minutes ago, Equivalent Ways said: I used to think, one time when it was a cold day(maybe in sept?) i was looking at traffic, and imagined. It was raining, I was walking through the crosswalk and a car almost hit me, they said sorry and drove off. I looked back and thought, 'dont be sorry, if you hit me, it would have felt like a kiss'. Then i swooped back to reality and was like, woah, what the... Never been kissed ✌ But I fantasize often. I would love to be hit by a car or better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TinyTurtles Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 Honestly it’d be better for everyone it’s a win-win situation i get run over and nobody else has to put up with me anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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